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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband won’t wear his wedding ring

152 replies

PleaseSendNoodles · 15/05/2021 16:10

I am aware this is not a big deal. My DH hardly ever wears his wedding ring. It’s just lobbed in a drawer. He says it’s uncomfortable and he’s ‘not a jewellery person’.

We bought one of those silicone ones as a compromise. It’s more practical for his kind of work and the gym etc... but he doesn’t wear that very often either.

I have zero concerns about him trying to convince other women he’s single.... it just irks me. AIBU?

OP posts:
HideousKinky · 15/05/2021 16:48

My DH has one but never wears it. This made me a bit sad at first but then I forgot about it.

Fast forward 30 years and mine was beginning to feel a bit tight, so I have started wearing his instead. It's a little bit big but better than too tight and as it was also part of our wedding ceremony it's a substitute I am happy to use

justanotherneighinparadise · 15/05/2021 16:48

I’m engaged and I rarely wear my ring. It doesn’t mean I’m planning to stray. I just hardly wear any jewellery full stop.

ChaBishkoot · 15/05/2021 16:52

DH wears his. I don't. I don't like rings. We gave each other plain wedding bands when we got married. Mine's in the drawer. I thought I would wear it and we had a long chat and chose the rings together but actually I just find it uncomfortable. DH has never ever been offended by it.

Ostara212 · 15/05/2021 16:53

@PleaseSendNoodles

Thanks everyone! I was a bit scared to post but these are great thoughtful replies! Yeah, I’m definitely going to let it go - especially as I trust him entirely and don’t doubt his devotion. Just watched one too many romcoms, I think!
It wouldn't worry me as long as he's not fussed about you wearing yours.
WallaceinAnderland · 15/05/2021 16:57

I don't ear mine for the same reason. I don't wear any jewellery.

OwlBeThere · 15/05/2021 17:04

I hate rings, they annoy me. So if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t.

Moondust001 · 15/05/2021 17:05

I not only never wore mine, I didn't have one. And I am female. Expectations are not good reasons to do something.

ED81 · 15/05/2021 17:08

My husband doesn’t wear his. Never really has. Doesn’t like jewellery. I wear mine occasionally.

We are totally committed.

Calmdown14 · 15/05/2021 17:09

I don't wear mine other than for special occasions. We bought my husband the cheapest gold possible because it was only ever for the day. I knew he wouldn't wear it.
In his work it's a risk I'd rather he didn't take.
I took mine off during first pregnancy and have never got round to putting it back on in the last decade!

MagicSummer · 15/05/2021 17:10

I don't like men wearing wedding rings anyway and DH doesn't even have one. I never wear my wedding or engagement rings nowadays - too much fuss with hand sanitising and washing and the gloves I wear when I go shopping. It really doesn't matter

AlfrescoDining · 15/05/2021 17:14

My hands go up and down in size daily. Picking the right keeper ring to keep it on is a time consuming faff and I'm worried about losing it if I get the wrong one.

Hallyup6 · 15/05/2021 17:15

Neither my husband or I wear our wedding rings. Mine irritates me. He used to wear his constantly but stopped, not sure why but it's his choice. It's not a big deal.

Iamthewombat · 15/05/2021 17:25

My husband rarely wears his. He keeps it in his bedside drawer. It used to annoy me, but not because I thought he was planning to stray. It was because I wish he’d said that he wouldn’t really wear it before we spent a ton of money on a platinum ring!

He nearly lost it once, in a pub, when taking his jacket off and it got pulled off his finger (??? I know). Luckily one of our friends spotted it on the floor when we got up to leave! So I think it is probably safer in the bedside drawer to be honest.

Not every man wears a wedding ring so it doesn’t bother me too much. Maybe I’ll get it remade into a ring for me!

Penchantforfloralpatterns · 15/05/2021 17:25

I don’t wear jewellery but I did try to wear my wedding ring, it was uncomfortable and annoying. DH got sick of picking it up from wherever I had taken it off so now he wears them both, his on his finger and mine on a chain. For full disclosure it’s my back up wedding ring on the chain, he knew I would struggle to wear it and would leave it somewhere so he bought two identical rings, the man knows me so well, I lost the first ring within a month.

Chickychickydodah · 15/05/2021 17:28

Mine can’t take his off so he’s stuck with it🤣🤣

Undisclosedlocation · 15/05/2021 17:42

I almost never wore mine. A job working with animals made it uncomfortable and potentially dangerous to wear rings and it just felt weird on the rare occasion outside of work when I put it on, so it stayed in the drawer

Unfortunately that made it vulnerable to theft and it was stolen in a house theft. The joke is, despite never using it, I really miss it and my engagement ring now

janj2301 · 15/05/2021 17:55

I've been married 47 years, I bought him a ring, he never wore it so I took mine off, never worn it since and I never had an engagement or eternity ring either

Looubylou · 15/05/2021 17:56

I'd totally accept if husband declined a ring in the first place - I'm used to men who wouldn't dream of wearing jewellery except watch. I would probs be a little bit miffed if he accepted one but didn't wear it though. Not miffed enough to cause a scene though

woodfort · 15/05/2021 18:00

One of my friends is married and I’ve never seen her wear a ring, I know she has them but just isn’t that kind of person.
I wear a wedding ring and no engagement ring. I had a long think about whether I would want an engagement ring and decided it wasn’t not me. That decision was nothing to do with my DH.
Of men, I think it’s more common not to wear a ring. None of the men in my family or DH’s family do bar this generation. I think men wearing rings is quite a new thing?

I wouldn’t be happy with my DH if he took his ring off now I guess, after wearing it daily, but if he had never really fancied it I wouldn’t think anything of it.

HandforthParishCouncilClerk · 15/05/2021 18:00

My DH loves his and always wears it. I never wear my rings, they’re too fancy and bulky. I sometimes wear a much plainer one if I feel like it.

NiceGerbil · 15/05/2021 18:02

I stopped wearing my wedding and engagement rings when I was Pg and my fingers swelled up.

Dd1 is nearly 14!

crosstalk · 15/05/2021 18:02

I haven't worn my rings since I was married. Just don't like the feeling of them. DH wore his until it jammed into his palm catching a ball .. loadsa blood. I wouldn't be too worried.

queenatom · 15/05/2021 18:08

My dad has never worn a wedding ring in the 37 years my parents have been married - they weren’t in really in fashion at the time and he probably wouldn’t have been able to wear one anyway given his work. I don’t know if he ever actually had one in the first place.

My husband wore his for the first year but when COVID hit all the hand gels and obsessive washing caused his eczema to flare up massively and now he can’t wear it without his skin splitting. It doesn’t bother me at all, I don’t want him to be uncomfortable for my benefit!

aSofaNearYou · 15/05/2021 18:11

I don't like wearing rings either, I hate the feeling. As long as there aren't other issues, I don't think he is being unreasonable.

ViciousJackdaw · 15/05/2021 18:13

We don't have rings either. Neither of us was particularly arsed about having one and I've got Boutonniere's deformities so need to wear finger splints all the time.