To be shocked at parents allowing teenage rule breaking

[chocolateforeverymeal]

We have been really diligent with the covid rules. I assumed the people I respect enough to be good friends with were doing the same.

Seems not. We all have teens. Mine is desperate to have friends round, and has done so in the garden. Turns out teenagers with boyfriends, in particular, but others too, can't be expected to follow rules. Some really good friends, at least three different families, have been allowing indoors visits for teens for weeks.

Really pisses me off-as if it's easy for the mugs who follow rules but they are exceptions. And these are people who are quite sniffy about other people's standards at times.

oh dear - how awful - terrible really

My DD has had her GF over a few times - they spend all day together in school - absolutely do not see the difference

Teenagers have lost so much I just can't begrudge then some bloody friendship - most of us old farts are vaccinated - they aren't - they wont be for ages - give then a bloody break

Although I broadly agree with you, I think if the other teen is in the same school bubble and they are doing LFTs 2x per week it must be hard to keep fighting the battle given the relentlessness of some teens. Plus if they are y11 it might be a point of whatever keeps them going in these last weeks of GCSE assessments.

Too many variables, if the adult are vaccinated and the teens are at school together, I'd blind eye it. Frankly, I look at outdoor pubs and see 8 or 12 round a table, now you're not telling me 12 middle-aged blokes all live in the same house? Everyone is cheek to jowl on the tubes and trains, and the school buses are the same with school children.

I've been sticking to the rules too, but I'm not shocked that some people haven't.

The last year has been bloody awful for teens, and their has been a massive decline in mental health, sometimes you just have to weigh up the risks.

Poor mental health is going to be more of a danger than covid for teens tbh.

DDs BF has been visiting throughout lockdown .
Her Counsellor suggested it and he has really helped her MH so I’m not sorry on the slightest

Two more days to be legal. I hope you can cope OP

Oh give over OP.

DD has had her friend her a few times and DS has had his too at mutual agreement of all parents involved. Us adults are all vaccinated, the DC are sitting in the same classrooms together all day (even their younger siblings are in the same classes as one another so their bubbles correspond too), and case numbers here are low. We considered the risk to be low enough that it was worth the boost to their mental wellbeing.

They have two role models for families not following Covid rules, Dominic Cummings and Robert Jenrick. The fine is no more than a parking fine and no justice in enforcement, and that is if you are caught.

Though if you voted Tory, you are partly responsible. The Prime Minister does not follow basic rules and common sense, and morals such as treating women with respect.

I don't think it's so much parents or teens flaunting lockdown restrictions for the shit and giggles, as for the reasons that pps give up thread.

The restrictions of this pandemic have been dreadful for teens and young adults. I completely understand why parents are permitting or even encouraging things to mitigate the damage.

My teen has been assiduously following the rules, that's just her nature. But if she had wanted to have a friend over rather than walking around the the rain a few months ago, I would have said yes with hand-washing, social distancing, windows open etc.

also both my older girls have worked in supermarkets throughout the pandemic - being exposed repeatedly while making sure you had your tea bags and bog roll - so I don't think it's wrong for them to see one of their mates (that they spend all day in college with) occasionally

In fact my eldest has even been to the pub with her friends

Give over. Humans require interaction and we’ve vaccinated everyone likely to die.

Having spent a lot of my working life talking to teens and elderly people who are self harming and /or suicidal as a direct result of the isolation of lockdown I really can’t get worked up about this.

If you don't live in an area where this new variant is on the increase, let your teens have a bit of freedom before everything shuts down again, they need to live a bit and learn social skills.

We've had DD2's GF over. They sit next to each other all day in school and test twice a week. Want people to follow rules? Have rules that are grounded in logic.

I am so glad the tide is turning on threads like this.

I've been meeting people indoors for ages now, anyway. I really don't care anymore.

And ironically of course, it was following the rules ie sending children to school as cases soared in the autumn that led to the December/January spike.

Not saying that people shouldn't have done this (I did), but just to point out that there's not a clear correlation between 'sticking to the rules' and 'reducing transmission of the virus'.

Well, seems I'm the idiot, then. Off to consider why I bothered.

I can’t get worked up about it. My DC aged 10 and 13 have had a friend over a few times in the last few weeks. I’m more concerned about a colleagues DC at uni who has just attempted suicide as she can’t cope anymore. My teen has ASD which impacts her mental health and seeing a friend occasionally is hugely beneficial. They can’t mix properly at school at the moment.

No you are not an idiot , and on some other threads people are blaming everything on the government where as now it’s obvious some are just ignoring the rules .

You carry on doing what you think is right .

The rules are there for a reason and there have always been exceptions for certain circumstances . So I am guessing most of us will carry on minimising and being careful until more is known about the variants .

You're being a bit melodramatic OP.

You didn't say that your friend's hadn't bothered sticking to any rules. Just that they have made a few different decisions to you over the last few weeks.

Unsure33 but OP wasn't talking about people 'ignoring the rules'.

Indeed, it sounds like the families that she's talking about HAVE been following the rules for the last 13 months, although have decided, in the context of rates of infection dropping dramatically, the vaccine programme being rolled out and a 'road map' out of lockdown provided by central government to make a few different choices.

Well we’ve all been told to send our kids to school where they mix with loads of other kids and staff so I don’t really see the difference. We follow the rules generally but some just don’t make any sense so I can’t get worked up about this.

You must be easily shocked !
I thought this post was going to be about drug taking and underage sex

I think having different groups of friends round is shit. Attending parties etc is irresponsible. But seeing teens all over each other at school (eg walking arm in arm) it does seem a bit barmy that they can mix indoors all day with a best friend but can't have that same best friend over to their house. I have been following the rules by the way but I can't see the difference that seeing a friend at home rather than school really makes given most kids are asymptomatic.

I have been following the rules by the way and haven't had any play dates with my kids as they are younger and have to have them organised.

I wonder if it's more of a pragmatism thing. At say 16 a lot of teens will just lie and say they are going out a walk and actually go and congregate somewhere. I think for teen relationships especially they will often just find a way of spending time together. Maybe parents who have teens they suspect will do this are taking a pragmatic view and while they don't condone it they recognise it will happen. I was a very compliant teen but nothing would have kept me from my boyfriend at the time