Stuck in the car park AIBU?

[CindersCatsSister]

Well this is annoying. Just got out of my car at the car park in the (small) town centre and noticed in the car next to me a child, looks to be about 4 or 5, by themselves. Quite happily reading a book but all alone. I thought oh I’ll just hang on here until his parent gets back but it’s been 15 fucking mins now and I’ve got shit to do. But I want to keep an eye on him in case (of what, I don’t know). Am I being (too much of) a busybody?

That’s too long to be left in a car imo but the comment about it being illegal for under 12 to be unsupervised is so bizarre. From year 5 (age 9) my dc primary let’s them walk to school on their own (you let the school know so they can alert you as a priority if they don’t arrive). I really wish people wouldn’t make up nonsense!

The child was clearly older than 4-5 if they’d been reading a book for 15 minutes.

I realise the mumsnet competitive types will be out with ‘ah but Tarquin did that at 2’, but normal children don’t.

I think it sounds like a long time but I’d have assumed in the first place the adult would be back soon and got on with my day.

It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter.

What utter drivel, it is up to the parent to risk assess.

The OP has no idea how old the child was - some girl of 9 who lives round the corner knocked on the door and asked dd2 to go out and play. Dd1 has just told me she’s 12 and in her year at school 🤷🏻‍♀️

20 years ago I'd have laughed and say don't be so fking daft but not now, far to much evil amongst us. the thing is to many people turn a blind eye and well done to you for your concern over someone else's child. So you aren't being unreasonable for showing compassion and waiting around to see if anyone is coming back for the child.

This should have been a 999 call.

The child is safe, obviously not bothered and able to cope on their own in their own company. The parent knowing their own child well obviously felt it was ok to do this. The child is secure in the car.

Just leave it alone and get on with what you need to do.

I spent most of my childhood sat in the car reading. Mind your business.

I am generally of the view that very little harm will come to a child in a locked car, and would always leave mine when getting petrol. And would leave mine while I went in a shop for 10 minutes from about the age of 8 or 9, because I knew my kids were sensible, and would also sit and read. But even so, I would be concerned about a younger child left alone for nearly half an hour in a car. That's not okay.

@mam0918 don't be ridiculous. Huge numbers of year 5, 6 and 7 children, aged 9-11 walk or get public transport to school alone every day. Most primary schools allow this with parental consent from year 5. Secondary schools would expect 11 year olds to be able to look after themselves on a short journey. Loads of 11 year olds let themselves in to the house after school and are at home alone until parents get home from work.

It’s a safeguarding issue. I’d alert the shop staff and put an announcement out. If no response call police. It’s leaving a child unattended. Cars can be hit, broken into etc

grantoderek
There's nothing wrong with the middle classes- and I read the comment as "it is not so serious an issue to trouble the 'full fat' versions. Simply being considerate of the time of the professionals.
BTW that's what middle class people do - try to ensure that things are run correctly and people take notice of the rules and objectives of an ordered society. Didn't you realise that?

@Teateaandmoretea

The child was clearly older than 4-5 if they’d been reading a book for 15 minutes.

I realise the mumsnet competitive types will be out with ‘ah but Tarquin did that at 2’, but normal children don’t.

I think it sounds like a long time but I’d have assumed in the first place the adult would be back soon and got on with my day.

Agreed. Although I prefer coffee myself....

Interested to know how many who say mind your business would call the rspca if a dog was locked in a car!

It was boiling in my car today, it can get hot in May in your car when the sun is out.

Cars can go on fire due to electrical faults. Not safe to leave a child in the car. I go to a particular supermarket on Sundays on my way home and have noticed some very odd men sitting in cars. I have no idea what they are up to but they look extremely dodgy. They watch me presumably hoping I will leave the car unlocked. I am hardly worth watching for any other reason as I am old! I would speak to the security staff at the shop. Sorry if all this has been said. Didn't feel like reading through 13 pages.

From a nurses point of view, quite a lot could happen to a small child in a lot less time! Kiss could choke on a small object or get one stuck up their nose etc. Totally irresponsible and the pp's defending this behaviour are essentially saying they're in favour of neglect and shit parenting

The child may be older than they look and had probably got a phone if there’s an issue. The most disturbing thing would have been you staring. Mind your own business.

I always wonder the thought of th sparse rlevaibb the child... they could be hit by a bus and their child is alone in a car somewhere and no one knows!! Also defo call 101, it’s plain ridiculous to leave a child like that. The car could be hit by another car, it’s could get hot(dogs die in hot cars, children can too) just wow at some of these answers form other mothers 😳

@CindersCatsSister

Sorry, only just back from the shops now. For those asking, child was in a car seat with straps, he was ‘reading’ a large picture book. I only got a quick look at him as I obviously didn’t want to stare through the windows at him!! His mum came back about 10 minutes after I posted. I didn’t say anything, but I’m glad I stayed anyway. I never left my kids in the car until they were secondary school age.

Secondary school! Wow, I left mine from about 7/8 for a quick dash to the shop. I usually have them the keys and they locked themselves in the car.

Call 101. Seriously. Wrong to leave a child that age in a car.

Young child left alone in the car for 15 minutes plus.

I would be more worried about the child becoming distressed and feeling alone, above car fires or child abduction. So that is still a really vulnerable position to leave a very young child in, even if you are chilled about the unlikely event of accident or abduction.

If the child is honestly not bothered that suggests they are used to it = huge alarm bells.

@Toomuchtrouble4me

The child may be older than they look and had probably got a phone if there’s an issue. The most disturbing thing would have been you staring. Mind your own business.

Jeez, this is bending the facts to make it possible to have a go at OP to the absolute limits.

Do 4 year olds know how to make a phone call? I guess a small minority do but, again, why would they need to?

I doubt a 4 year old can read for one, so I suspect the child is older than you think and if they're not distressed, it's not a hot day or in the middle of nowhere, then I really don't see the issue

@Teateaandmoretea

I realise the mumsnet competitive types will be out with ‘ah but Tarquin did that at 2’, but normal children don’t.

If you RTFT you’ll see it was a large picture book.

It takes a village to raise a child it's said. op phone the police! I really hope the child is ok ...this time.

Child is hopefully tucked up in bed now, 34 hours later.