Stuck in the car park AIBU?

[CindersCatsSister]

Well this is annoying. Just got out of my car at the car park in the (small) town centre and noticed in the car next to me a child, looks to be about 4 or 5, by themselves. Quite happily reading a book but all alone. I thought oh I’ll just hang on here until his parent gets back but it’s been 15 fucking mins now and I’ve got shit to do. But I want to keep an eye on him in case (of what, I don’t know). Am I being (too much of) a busybody?

Some ppl wind me the fuck up!
A CHILD needs protection, it is not the child's responsibility to protect themselves from harm, it's a parent's/guardian's responsibility.

OP, in your position I would have reported to non-emergency 101 incase the parent/guardian has done this before, or may well do it again/regularly.

I reported a parent who used to leave her toddler (around 18months) in the car on the road side (car seat nearest road) with the bloody window all the way down!!! as she was taking her child into class !! I reported it anonymously to the school and she stopped doing it - it was pure laziness on her part - the toddler was always wide awake.

@MintyMabel

Suppose a child was in danger and an adult didn’t intervene?

Suppose there was an earthquake or the car got hit by lightning 😱

Then it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference whether the child was accompanied or not.

@HeronLanyon I'd rather you called 999 if ever in doubt. Believe me, if it's not an emergency we will tell you and tell you to call 101. Ignore people on here who have no knowledge of how things work.
Which, FYI, are the same calltakers in the same control room - you just will wait longer to get through. A calltaker in our force might take 101 calls from 10am, then move over to 9s if the demand is there. But we are trained in both.
A good rule of thumb - if it's happening now, it's 999.

Also what you don't know as Joanne Public is the details of the RO of the vehicle, their history, any previous intel about child neglect, all sorts.

I, on the other hand, have all that information in front of me and I'm in a better position to make a decision. But if there's a child in a car alone, that's going to be my highest priority incident to resource and would take precedence over almost any other call that came in.

How is this thread still going??

@Blue4YOU

How is this thread still going??

Agree..too many hysterical comments 🙄

@grantoderek What a nasty post. My friend is a PCSO, she has qualifications and they do have powers and work very closely with the police.

@lydia2021

It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter.

No it isn't

How do you know for sure they are left unattended? Our toddler often doesn’t want to get out of the car, so we let him be in there while watching him in the car from a distance - i.e. from sitting on a nearby bench while we wait for him to finally be ready to go.

You gotta love MN. No one can leave a sleeping child at home while they nip 10 mins to the shop to get some milk, but in a car it's fair game. I will never understand this 😂

Wonder if the mother would still do that on a warm/hot day? I wouldn't leave my dogs in a car let alone a young child.

Sigh.
Firstly, I do know four and five year olds that sit happily reading like this, so let's put that particular it of nastiness to one side.

Secondly, from my Police DH: call the Police? Absolutely, every time. No cop in the country is going to think less of you for calling 101, he frankly considers it a bona fide 999 matter. Yes, seriously. If you're scoffing at this, well done for not ever having met the low-lives or come across incidents that can include this situation.

Well done OP.

I could never have guessed that there would be so many Mumsnetters with a "don't be a busybody" attitude to this scenario.

Call the police - this is not OK and you are right to be concerned

@expatinspain

You gotta love MN. No one can leave a sleeping child at home while they nip 10 mins to the shop to get some milk, but in a car it's fair game. I will never understand this 😂

Its worse than that - no-one can leave a child watching tele to have a shower without being told they are a shit mum and what if their child had choked to death or had a seizure, the tele burst into flames and shot a fireball right at the kid's face. But apparently its ok to leave a five year old in a car alone. Go figure.

@KristinaLondon

How do you know for sure they are left unattended? Our toddler often doesn’t want to get out of the car, so we let him be in there while watching him in the car from a distance - i.e. from sitting on a nearby bench while we wait for him to finally be ready to go.

Presumably because, if the parents had been watching from a distance, they would have done something when they saw a stranger hanging around the car.

You would have a child that age left that long maybe reading in a room in your house whilst you’re say in kitchen. If it was a younger child that’s another matter. Can’t see what could happen . If locked car. Child might have phone and parents checking. Probably done loads before so child pretty unbothered.

@GranToDerek why do you think it’s acceptable to impugn a PCSO? The problem with the middle class is probably attitudes like yours!

You are absolutely right to be worried. Stick your nose in and call the police. Bad things are allowed to happen by people doing nothing. Is the life of a child so expendable that it can be gambolled with. Some people don’t deserve children

My mum used to leave me in car for hours, while they went shopping/generally pissing about. They were pretty middle class (thought so anyway!). I used to hate it, time went by so slow as I waited for them to come back, I remember thinking that she was never coming back.. Not the worst thing that can happen to a child by far, but I would never in a million years do it (probably because I remeber how stressful it was, some of my first memories are waking up from a nap in the middle of nowhere, stuck in the car seat crying my eyes out).

I can't believe the people saying that leaving a young child in the car is OK. It isn't.
What worries me is that this neglectful mother might start to do it ouside shops, outside friends houses and so on. Its unusual for anything to go wrong, but not impossible for a car to run off down a hill or for somebody to steal it.

@Nietzschethehiker

This is an outstanding example of a MN thread.

So far we appear to have established that 4 year old children can be anywhere between 6ft 4 and 20cm. Could be reading the complete works of Bram Stoker but they should be lambasted for not understanding the themes (I mean fairplay to that...I bet a 4 / 5 possibly 18 months and a half year olds literature thesis might lack depth)

Someone's husbands car spontaneously burst into flames as they walked away in an action film sequence that I truly hope included him wearing sunglasses.

Oh and a slightly confused point being made about something to do with the middle class being unreasonable about PCSOs or possibly the existence of PCSOs were a problem....or maybe the existence of a middle class in general....I wasn't sure on that one.

Meanwhile the OP has wandered off, the child (aged 4 , 9 possibly 25) is fine. And apparently the said car is still not on fire.

I do love MN

Perfect! 🙂

@Bertiebiscuit

Call the police - this is not OK and you are right to be concerned

Unless the OP noted down the reg it's too late.

Responses on here???!!!
Makes me wonder what type of society we have !someone is genuinely concerned over the well being of a very small child and everyone is slating her telling her to mind her own business that child is too young to be left alone why is she the only one realising it and it seems she's the only
person who cares ??that's neglect nothing more nothing less

I used to love being left in the car whilst DM and DA would go off round the shops. I really didn’t mind it at all. Kept the doors locked with the window cracked open if the sun was blazing in 😌