Stuck in the car park AIBU?

[CindersCatsSister]

Well this is annoying. Just got out of my car at the car park in the (small) town centre and noticed in the car next to me a child, looks to be about 4 or 5, by themselves. Quite happily reading a book but all alone. I thought oh I’ll just hang on here until his parent gets back but it’s been 15 fucking mins now and I’ve got shit to do. But I want to keep an eye on him in case (of what, I don’t know). Am I being (too much of) a busybody?

I always wanted my Dad to leave me in the car when he popped into a shop for 2 minutes. He always refused and took me in the shop with him. He was paranoid it might catch fire or something. Unlikely but these things can happen.

I would have had to say something. I would have waited too and possibly rang the police. Certainly would have if no one came after half an hour.

I know someone who left her two boys in the car aged 3 &4 it was on a slope ( not a car park) and they got out of their car seats let off the brake.The car went down the slope onto the road and careered across a mini roundabout crashing into a car. Luckily they were ok. Mum wasn’t though she was hysterical when she returned ( not gone long as she was delivering some items) and not long after the police arrived. She got a good telling off. Not sure what happened to the car re insurance. It could have ended much more tragically.
Social services would take a dim view too.
💐Cinders I am glad their are still people like you concerned about the welfare of others.

To those that have said about travelling on a bus under twelve.
My boys travelled on a bus from the age of four. All the village children went on it. It was a small village in Scotland and the public also travelled on it as it went on to a town after dropping the school kids. My sister lived on a island and they also travelled on the Post Bus. Children in rural areas often have to catch a bus. The Owen children have a much longer journey than mine had.

Busybody

I live near a school and sometimes see parents lock their Baby or Toddler in the car whilst they walk their older DC into school and wait with them until it’s time for them to be lead inside. I do worry about this though, most of the time they lock the car after them, but not always, but often during the Summertime they dash off leaving the windows wide open and the keys left in, some people just cannot see the danger of doing this, whilst most of the time they are fine, there may come a day when it’s not, and an opportunist Thief jumps in and drives off not realising a child is still left inside the car.

It’s simply not worth the risk.

For me it isn’t about cars bursting into flames or any of that, it’s just basic parenting. You keep young kids with you, or make sure they are supervised.

The OP asked if she was a busybody. Some people thought she was - me included. Why is that rude? She asked a question, she got an answer.

@summersolstice43

Thats far too young to be left alone for such a long time. What if something has happened to the parent.

To everyone telling OP to go about her day, thats exactly what the people did who saw James Bulger being snatched and look what happened there.

This is actually a really good point. Lots of research about the bystander effect shows that people often think someone else will intervene. Never rely on strangers to step in.

I've seen people leave kids in cars at supermarket and people usually alert thr security guard who waits next to car until parents come back
Security guards who provide child minding? pray tell where is this? 🙄
Never leaving a child in a car until secondary school? seriously I despair of MN

The point is that you shouldn’t rely on strangers to step in if something goes wrong. No one is saying the child would have been abducted by two year old boys.

*2 ten year old boys

A child of 4 reading a book? Are you sure they aren't older? I mean my 4 year old might look at a picture book for a few minutes but not for 15+

If you're worried call 911

*by which I mean 111

I mean, good on you for sticking around rather than just calling cops or something, but the child seems happy, obviously knows to expect to be in the car. The parent has made their own risk assessment, which may be different from yours or some other people, but they have provided for their child's needs. There is no sign of anything needing intervention by the authorities, which would likely upset and distress the child far more than being left in the car.

The parent might have thought they'd be less time but have some immensely slowly, faffy person with a million queries in the queue in front of them (I once popped out in my lunch hour to superdrug and the guy in front of me decided to ask to try every single aftershave in the place). On the evidence, child is happy, no other context, you can walk away.

Ummm... Is this not illegal?! It’s a real pain sometimes when you just want to nip to the shop and child is whining but in the country I live in parents would be arrested.

So having had a quick google, apparently my state has a particularly stringent law regarding this! It IS illegal here. I wouldn’t do it any case until I was confident my child could get out of the car and locate me safely if needed & know enough to unlock door & make sure it stayed locked. I would stay until the child’s parents came, if it was more than 15 mins or so I would call 111 or notify shop security if that was possible.

@Nietzschethehiker

This is an outstanding example of a MN thread.

So far we appear to have established that 4 year old children can be anywhere between 6ft 4 and 20cm. Could be reading the complete works of Bram Stoker but they should be lambasted for not understanding the themes (I mean fairplay to that...I bet a 4 / 5 possibly 18 months and a half year olds literature thesis might lack depth)

Someone's husbands car spontaneously burst into flames as they walked away in an action film sequence that I truly hope included him wearing sunglasses.

Oh and a slightly confused point being made about something to do with the middle class being unreasonable about PCSOs or possibly the existence of PCSOs were a problem....or maybe the existence of a middle class in general....I wasn't sure on that one.

Meanwhile the OP has wandered off, the child (aged 4 , 9 possibly 25) is fine. And apparently the said car is still not on fire.

I do love MN

😂

We need this type of conclusion at the end of bonkers MN threads more often!

@brokenpencilsarepointless... Says it all really. A friends relatives left their two kids in their car to pop into a shop. When they came out, the smaller kid had died caught in the electric window. Happened few years back, but the parents have suffered ever since. I would never see your point of view on this subject... enough said

Maybe they didn't want to take their child into a shop in case the MN covid police moaned about it, maybe they had read the shopping threads on here about SHOP THE FUCK ALONE.

@headintheproverbial

*by which I mean 111

What will the NHS do? 😂😂

Why are people saying this is nothing like the Madeleine McCann case? It is leaving a young child completely alone and un supervised. That is exactly how the McCann case started!

Late to the party but this is a 999 call all day long and one that would be dispatched as a grade 1 emergency.

(I work in a police control room taking 999 calls and dispatching)

This is not ok. Look up the story of Melanie and Amanda Grimsley.

kiss Interesting. I would not have left and/or called to report but not on 999. If I had called 999 I would have been apologising for bothering etc. Really interesting.