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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a wedding photographer?

106 replies

xela21 · 13/05/2021 16:04

We are having a wedding weekend away with just 10 guests.
Photographer prices are astronomical as soon as you mention 'wedding' but equally don't want to be dishonest - it is still a wedding although very small. Also because of the tiny scale, wonder what really will the photographer have to photograph - not doing the traditional first dance, no bridesmaids/groomsmen etc. All very simple. Instead doing different activities over a number of days. Also, the wedding is very soon (doubt will find a photographer so quickly).

Will I regret not having a photographer?

OP posts:
SemiFeralDalek · 13/05/2021 17:26

I really regret not having a professional photographer.

HangingOverTheEdge · 13/05/2021 17:29

What friends of mine did many years ago, apologies if this has already been mentioned:
They bought a load of single use disposable cameras, left them out for the guests to pick up when they arrived and asked them to take photos throughout the day then leave them again at the end.
Got the photos developed later and there were all sorts. Some better than others, but they don't regret doing that.

CustardyCreams · 13/05/2021 17:29

We had one. So happy I did. He was very local, lovely, unobtrusive, very dashing which entertained all the middle-aged aunts, talented and not pricey. Only a few hundred. My dad died of cancer a year later, so I really treasure those wonderful photos when for one day, we were all happy and relaxed and my dad was so proud.

My guests were able to relax and I didn’t have to scrounge photos.

DynamoKev · 13/05/2021 17:31

YANBU - I got sick of the photographer hijacking a whole load of weddings I went to; the couple should have put "photo shoot" on the invite not fucking Wedding.
I never look at the pics (mind I am divorced).

PerhapsCarriageGreen · 13/05/2021 17:31

DB couldn't afford a photographer at his (tiny) wedding, so I took them for him. I made myself fairly unwell with anxiety over the responsibility in advance, but actually had a brilliant time on the day, and everyone was properly delighted with the photos. I took them throughout the ceremony, and at the celebration afterwards.

I'd suggest that you nominate someone to be the main person taking photos, just so that you can be sure that no one will mind them eg being in front of you, or at the side when you take your vows, rather than just seeing the back of your head and your bum!

DB has a beautiful print of his favourite one in a gorgeous frame on their mantlepiece, and I am proud every time I see it.

PinkiOcelot · 13/05/2021 17:35

I didn’t have a wedding photographer. My sister in law was interested in photography so she took them for me.
I have over 500 photos of the day and over 300 of the night. The majority of them are natural, unstaged shots and I love them.
I wouldn’t have got that with a photographer.

ExtraOnions · 13/05/2021 17:37

We didn’t have a photographer, I had been to too many weddings where the bride, groom and other where whisked away by a photographer for an hour, for hundreds of pictures (from slightly different angles). I also remember talking to a friend who said they paid £800 for an album of pictures they never look at.

I knew what groups I wanted, so just got people in those groups and my SIL took a photo … I also got all my guests to send me a copy their pictures, I’ve got some great shots of the day, that you just wouldn’t get with a photographer (total cost £15)

I also got my brother to take a video of the day … keeps me laughing to this day

Medianoche · 13/05/2021 17:37

No regrets about not having an official photographer here (20+ years on), but I’m not at all a fan of having my photo taken or of formal photographs of other people.
My in-laws booked a photographer and videographer without telling us. I’d made my feelings on the subject very clear before the wedding and the look on my face when I saw the cameras as I got out of the car was enough to mean they disappeared very swiftly.

5foot5 · 13/05/2021 17:39

YANBU - I got sick of the photographer hijacking a whole load of weddings I went to

This. We did have a professional photographer but TBH I can't remember the last time I looked at the photos. Maybe for the first year, but then the album pretty much gets left on the shelf from one year to the next. Also he was getting on our nerves towards then end and DH had to tell him we had had enough now thank you.

I remember one family wedding we went to just before ours and they were having photos and a wedding video. It felt like the whole bleeding day was being done for the benefit of the video. It delayed getting in to the reception so much that what should have been the nice hot sit down meal had gone cold.

Friends of ours left disposable cameras on every table for people to use and then pass to them

KillerFlamingo · 13/05/2021 17:43

Depends what sort of person you are, some plan to hang massive wedding pictures on their walls and put them all on Facebook, others just look at the album once and chuck it on a high shelf to gather dust for ever more.

I'm in the second camp and it was a bit of a waste of money but I know some people who adore their wedding photos and treasure them. The photographer was worth every penny to them.
Have a think about what you really want.

Original poster
xela21 · 13/05/2021 17:45

@trevthecat would you mind sharing details of your photographer?

Anyone know of other companies like big day productions? Open to explore options but still not sure if we will have one or not

OP posts:
Mum233 · 13/05/2021 17:48

DH is a wedding photographer so I’m biased obviously!!
He’s done lots of smaller weddings and often does a small amount of coverage. Could you ask a photographer locally to just do a few hours? Cheaper then but still get some pictures?

WitchDancer · 13/05/2021 18:03

We had a small wedding and simply asked our guests to bring a camera and give us a copy of any photos they took. We got some really lovely pictures, which were formal as well as the more relaxed ones, that we're well happy with.

murbblurb · 13/05/2021 18:06

Just get everyone to take photos, and ask the waiter to take a group shot or two. You'll get happy natural photos without the ghastly staginess of wedding standards.

Us small wedding types don't spend ages looking at the album, and in future years even less so because the grim reaper comes to call. It is one day out of your life.

shivawn · 13/05/2021 19:18

I prioritised photos for my weddings so a big chunk of the budget went on a photographer that I loved! No regrets now because 2 years later the photos are all I have left (well along with the husband! Grin)

Wondergirl100 · 13/05/2021 19:20

I didn't have one! I don't regret it I got a friend to take some and I never look at them. But for me my wedding wasn't like 'best day of my life' - if you are that sort of person get a photographer.

Wondergirl100 · 13/05/2021 19:20

An alternative is to get a photography student? Someone young and just starting out. Be clear you only want a couple of hours of their time and that you won't put them under pressure as you would a pro.

warmeduppizza · 13/05/2021 19:21

We trusted a friend to take photos and were disappointed. We didn’t get a picture good enough to put on the wall or even on a thank you card. Big regret.

Kayjay2018 · 13/05/2021 19:23

@xela21 I had a wedding of only 11 of us back in 2018 and chose not to have a photographer. Instead we made a kind of eye spy list for the kids to take photos and just asked the gets to snap away. We got some lovely photos of the day and I have zero regrets for going this way as they show the day as it really was. At the end of the evening over the last few drinks we got everyone to airdrop us the photos they had taken and my dad bless him got his photos processed from a real camera a few months later 😀

MyCatHatesEverybody · 13/05/2021 19:25

We had a documentary style photographer (I think it's called that) where very few of the photos were posed - our wedding album is like a picture story of our day. One of our guests was a keen amateur photographer and she gave us a lovely album of photos but when compared with the professional ones the difference between them is night and day. All depends on how bothered you are really - if you'd like to have a photographer but it's only the cost putting you off then I'd say go for it.

Rmka · 13/05/2021 19:56

@MyCatHatesEverybody, that sounds like our photographer. I absolutely love the documentary style.

RedSquirrelRoar · 13/05/2021 22:12

We nearly didn’t bother with a photographer as it was quite a small, casual wedding (around 40 guests) but I’m really glad we did.
We had an evening wedding and just booked her for 4 hours. I think it’s better to get a photographer whose work you love for a shorter time, than a so-so photographer all day.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 13/05/2021 22:23

Photos was one of our priorities, so I’m probably biased but I’m so glad we made them a priority. I still look through them frequently. We chose a photographer that focused more on candid shots and I just love the photos of people having fun, catching up with one another. My favourite photos aren’t of the traditional moments, it’s my mum and MIL cracking up at something. It’s me dancing with my dad. One of the children chasing the lights on the dance floor. Pictures of our guests during the ceremony, just so happy for us.

I also lost quite a few family members shortly after our wedding and I’m so glad I’ve got photos of the last time we were having fun together. That’s obviously going to influence my thoughts on the matter though.

bert3400 · 13/05/2021 22:26

We didn't as our photographer couldn't make it out of the UK ( we got married abroad) but I really regret not trying to find a replacement in the country we got married in. We had friends take photos but it was never quite what a professional could of done...it was my only regret on a perfect day

Northernlass99 · 13/05/2021 22:36

A friend didn’t have one and asked guests to send her pictures afterwards. She did not get a single decent picture where they are both looking at the camera. Really regrets it. If you don’t have a professional at least allocate the task to someone.