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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone else still feeling flat?

423 replies

Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:23

I will say I am grateful to still be here, and I have not lost anyone very close to me to covid. Believe me I am grateful for those things. I am not depressed in the slightest either, however I am finding it increasingly hard to listen to all the conversations about hugging and enjoying life again on the radio and every news channel, and I am just not feeling it. At all. Things don't feel very different to me.

I have shivered through meals and drinks with friends, braved the weather for BBQs, I have even had my hair done! I imagined by now to be feeling much better than I am. But I don't feel better. I am so flat, and find things are not much better than before. The things I most want to do seem still a million miles away.

I am desperate for a holiday, we have worked all the way through, but how easy it that going to be this summer? Chances look exceptionally low. I want to dance at a festival, no chance. Or go to something with live music, anything.
I want to enjoy shopping without feeling muzzled, and I really feel what we have now is not really a whole life at all, it is like a half life. It is nothing like the life I left behind. I have no sense of when it will end. The scientist on the BBC today said she wasn't sure the next reopening will even happen....the moment when some kind of normal happens on the 21st of June.

I can't summon the energy to look forward to anything, because we have no idea if it will happen. I feel like I am being lied to, look at all you can do is the strap line, the reality is freezing cold, wind swept evenings eating cold over priced food, and everything is so limited in experience and in interaction, like trying to enjoy a facial with someone covered in PPE none of this is actually fun anymore!

I am optimist, by nature, and of course I have already counted my blessings for the things we can do, but really I just want my old life back so so so badly. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

MrsJBaptiste · 17/05/2021 15:28

@MoreAloneTime

The other thing thats literally only just occurred to me, is it just me or have people stopped doing zoom parties?

I remember there was loads of initial enthusiasm for them as a substitute to real life get together about a year ago. We had a really awful one for my DDs birthday. Everyone tried so hard and yet it was still a really awful experience. Didn't bother this year and no one even suggested one.

I think a year ago, Zoom and Teams were a novelty and people thought we'd only meeting like this 'virtually' for a couple of months. Over a year later and here we are, still stuck at home but everyone is Zoomed out!

When I've been sat WFH all day on Teams meetings/calls, the last thing I want to do is chat to friends on my laptop.

Luckily we're a sociable lot and have been out walking and in people's gardens since we were allowed so I haven't missed the Zooms at all!

IcedPurple · 17/05/2021 15:38

I can think of few more depressing things than a Zoom 'party'. Zoom is just about OK with a small group of people you know well - for me, anything more than 3 participants gets messy - but large groups and enforced jollity is just grim.

And while Zoom can be a good way to 'catch up', every time I've done a Zoom call with friends, it's just made me miss them even more! I don't know how anyone can say it's an adequate substitute for real human interaction.

HereComesYourMam · 17/05/2021 16:31

[quote Loncan]@Summercocktailsinthesnow

Theoretically yes, but I would need to actually have someone to go on a date with lol. My only option is OLD (everyone I know through work or friends is taken or 10+ years younger than me) and I rarely match with anyone. Unfortunate mix of age and unattractiveness I guess.[/quote]
Don't give up! I met DH through OLD at a fairly advanced age, and am quite evangelical about it. It took quite a bit of perseverance but there is someone for everyone in this big old world. Good luck

notawittyname1954 · 17/05/2021 19:10

So glad it's not just me. Everything seems such a huge effort and things I should be really excited about seem to have no meaning. Feel like I've just died inside and left a walking husk. That sounds very melodramatic I know. And I love my friends and family too but it all seems too much

IcedPurple · 17/05/2021 19:18

@notawittyname1954

It doesn't sound melodramatic to me.

I almost feel like I'm no longer the person I was barely 14 months ago. The person who had choices, who had things to look forward to. Who could enjoy picking out her outfit for the day, have a laugh with her friends at the pub and a bit of banter with colleages at work.

The past year has just been a blur. I have no memories other than sadness and disappointment. Just today I was looking at the clothes in my wardrobe which haven't been worn in months - some have never been worn and still have the labels attached - and it just seemed like they belonged to another world.

Ostara212 · 17/05/2021 19:47

IcedPurple I could have written that.

StellaLeonte · 17/05/2021 20:01

Thank you, I feel the same. I’m socially anxious at the best of times and although I miss people I feel really flat about having to get out and about again. It’s just apathy I think, after being forced to live so strangely for 16 months.

carlywurly · 17/05/2021 20:44

Yes to this. I should have been on a once in a lifetime adventure right now which got cancelled. Its not something we can repeat.

I've barely got my sumner stuff out and am still in sweatshirts and black jeans. The bloody heating is still on. Haven't seen most family in over a year.

It's all so endlessly disappointing and joyless.

Ostara212 · 17/05/2021 23:23

@carlywurly

Yes to this. I should have been on a once in a lifetime adventure right now which got cancelled. Its not something we can repeat.

I've barely got my sumner stuff out and am still in sweatshirts and black jeans. The bloody heating is still on. Haven't seen most family in over a year.

It's all so endlessly disappointing and joyless.

Sorry Carly,

The sheer joy of some posters here with their graphs and charts.....

Ostara212 · 18/05/2021 10:19

Oh dear

Today I am feeling flat amd anxious

I feel,like theu might do a reverse and wondering if I should drive to my parents tonight after work in case it's all off by the weekend.

But..I have a dental appointment this afternoon as well.

trixies · 18/05/2021 11:02

So many of my colleagues are overjoyed at being able to go back to the gym, pub etc. - and I just feel like a ghost. I'm supposed to be concentrating on a team meeting right now and I just can't find the energy to care about work. I just want to go back to bed and wake up in a few years. It's horrendous to feel like this all the time, and I don't know what to do about it. I've upped my anti-depressants but it doesn't seem enough.

Ostara212 · 18/05/2021 11:44

@trixies

I'm glad to hear when people are glad, IYSWIM.

notawittyname1954 · 18/05/2021 12:03

@trixies

I could easily hibernate. Everything is too hard

Ostara212 · 18/05/2021 12:26

Meanwhile, does anyone have the foggiest notion what Cummings is trying to say?

IcedPurple · 18/05/2021 12:47

@trixies

I remember saying to someone back in December that I wished I could hibernate until spring. Well, now it's almost summer and I still feel that way. At the moment I'm working from home and only sporadically - I'm freelance - so I have days, even weeks, on end with no structure to my life. I slept in until 10 a few times and while part of me felt guilty, the other part felt glad that the day would be shorter by a few hours.

I've just been out walking around my town and while it was nice to see some 'buzz' back, with shops, libraries and other places open, I just couldn't take any joy out of it. Something has just gone out of life.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 18/05/2021 12:55

I've lost all joy. There is no spontaneity, hate masks due to trauma and everything seems so dull. Went out for a meal the other weekend and it was just stressful. Barely touched my food and couldn't wait to leave.

Youdoyoutoday · 18/05/2021 15:04

I've felt awfully low for the past few days, yesterday especially as I didn't have the kids, was really looking forward to getting out the house for a walk, fresh air by myself (no pram, no nappy bag, no worrying about my small people) and it poured of rain, hail stones and it really felt like a kick in the teeth.

So today, I have my youngest at home and wanted to get out so get them ready and it's pouring again, sheets of water falling from the sky like some sort of biblical curse 🤦‍♀️

Rain, please fuck off!!

Cindy87 · 18/05/2021 15:15

I absolutely feel the OP. I thought it would be great with things opening up but it isn't. Masks, 2m paranoia, want to do this today with the kids but I can't because I didn't book a slot 3 weeks in advance, toddler group where toddler can't go near any other kids or chase bubbles or whatever, a maze at a castle with a one way system?! A one way system in a maze - I mean what is the actual point? Dinner stone cold under a gazebo, table needs vacating after 2 hours. Family gathering planned but there are 32 of us and what if it rains.
Basically it's all bollocks and I can't be bothered until we have 2019 level freedom. What we have now is a way of pretending it is normal so we spend money. I know businesses really need this but on a personal level I just think don't bother until this is ACTUALLY over.

IcedPurple · 18/05/2021 15:51

@Cindy87

I absolutely feel the OP. I thought it would be great with things opening up but it isn't. Masks, 2m paranoia, want to do this today with the kids but I can't because I didn't book a slot 3 weeks in advance, toddler group where toddler can't go near any other kids or chase bubbles or whatever, a maze at a castle with a one way system?! A one way system in a maze - I mean what is the actual point? Dinner stone cold under a gazebo, table needs vacating after 2 hours. Family gathering planned but there are 32 of us and what if it rains. Basically it's all bollocks and I can't be bothered until we have 2019 level freedom. What we have now is a way of pretending it is normal so we spend money. I know businesses really need this but on a personal level I just think don't bother until this is ACTUALLY over.

I'm the same. I really don't want this 'new normal' with masks, yellow floor markers and a general lack of spontaneity and fun. I want the old normal. Perhaps it's unrealistic but that's how I feel.

notawittyname1954 · 18/05/2021 18:26

And now I'm worrying about the Indian variant. Just had enough. What is the point.

Ostara212 · 18/05/2021 19:18

A friend wants to go to the cinema

I can't explain this well....it just feels like it's got nothing to do with me.

notawittyname1954 · 18/05/2021 19:29

@Ostara212

A friend wants to go to the cinema

I can't explain this well....it just feels like it's got nothing to do with me.

I totally understand that feeling. Its like life is going on somewhere else and I'm not involved. Having to really push myself to try and meet up with the occasional friend in the hope that fake it til you make it but it is too overwhelming in a way and I just want to scuttle back home.

Ostara212 · 18/05/2021 19:41

not I also think the cinema noise will be too much

My friend is coming for a couple of hours tomorrow just for a cuppa at lunchtime, which I'm looking forward to

I suppose eventually I'll get an urge to go out out but now it's all 🤷🏻‍♀️

OverByYer · 18/05/2021 21:20

I went out for food after work with friends. I had to push myself to go. It was nice but I found it hard work, with masks and one way stuff.
I also found it hard to keep a conversation going. I ha w nothing to talk about.
The poster that menu the cinema, I know what you mean it feels almost impossible. I’m not scared of catching Covid but just can’t fathom going right now

Oblomov21 · 18/05/2021 21:28

I don't get why a table needs vacating after 2 hours. In a pub say. Remind me please.

No work / jobs at my work. No ones got any orders, no work.

Everyone expected to feel better after May 17th. But no one does.

They ripped into him on good morning Britain. No wonder!

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