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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else still feeling flat?

423 replies

Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:23

I will say I am grateful to still be here, and I have not lost anyone very close to me to covid. Believe me I am grateful for those things. I am not depressed in the slightest either, however I am finding it increasingly hard to listen to all the conversations about hugging and enjoying life again on the radio and every news channel, and I am just not feeling it. At all. Things don't feel very different to me.

I have shivered through meals and drinks with friends, braved the weather for BBQs, I have even had my hair done! I imagined by now to be feeling much better than I am. But I don't feel better. I am so flat, and find things are not much better than before. The things I most want to do seem still a million miles away.

I am desperate for a holiday, we have worked all the way through, but how easy it that going to be this summer? Chances look exceptionally low. I want to dance at a festival, no chance. Or go to something with live music, anything.
I want to enjoy shopping without feeling muzzled, and I really feel what we have now is not really a whole life at all, it is like a half life. It is nothing like the life I left behind. I have no sense of when it will end. The scientist on the BBC today said she wasn't sure the next reopening will even happen....the moment when some kind of normal happens on the 21st of June.

I can't summon the energy to look forward to anything, because we have no idea if it will happen. I feel like I am being lied to, look at all you can do is the strap line, the reality is freezing cold, wind swept evenings eating cold over priced food, and everything is so limited in experience and in interaction, like trying to enjoy a facial with someone covered in PPE none of this is actually fun anymore!

I am optimist, by nature, and of course I have already counted my blessings for the things we can do, but really I just want my old life back so so so badly. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
BookWorm45 · 14/05/2021 12:54

This thread has been so helpful to feel there are a lot of other people feeling flat and meh....
Day off work today. Weather rubbish, intermittent rain and cold. Friends are unavailable to meet up with (they are dealing with their own issues). Biggest thrill of the day likely to be going to Sainsburys.
However the thing I'm finding hardest at present is the feeling of "oh here we go again" as cases of infection appear to be on the increase with the Indian variant in certain parts of the UK. Very difficult to know how much this is media scaremongering and how much is a genuine concern. It certainly makes me feel that booking any event / trip (even local ones) would be the wrong move right now.

trixies · 14/05/2021 13:27

No, you’re not alone. I really struggled last year with overwork and a big chunk of our workforce being off (couldn’t get compassionate leave after a traumatic incident due to staffing, and still feeling the effects). I’d hoped that this year would be a turning point but I don’t really feel much better. It’s like a mood hangover that doesn’t shift no matter what the government announcements are.

My fingers are crossed for all of us that we can be out of this soon. Hugs to you OP.

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 14/05/2021 15:55

Thanks everyone. I have been trying to find ways to improve things, but I have not found the magic formula yet!

As of today, I have decided to stop fighting the meh feeling and just go with it, I feel bad for my friends as I have no energy to see them. I hope they will understand.

I hope you will find some sunshine in your days this weekend, and some small pockets of loveliness, and lets hope this feeling wears off, as all the experts seem to promise us it will (how they actually know given this is THE social experiment of our times, is anyone's guess!) But lets hope!

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 14/05/2021 16:02

I had a really flat couple of days and I've found since last March that I've been particularly susceptible to hormonal dips which doesn't help. I have changed gear today. On dropping the DCs off I got straight in the car and went to some shops. There were useful things I needed from shop 1, but I went on and browsed for the first time since July last year. I bought a couple of items of clothing for DS because children grow, but no temptation to look at women's wear. I probably haven't used as much as 15% of my clothes in the past year +. It must be nearly 18m since I went to IKEA, but I emerged empty handed. It was good to be somewhere that wasn't my house or outside and just looking at and smelling (!) different things. I was really surprised at how differently some of the IKEA departments smelt. Candles and rugs being the obvious ones.
If I'm having a quiet week without the excitement of things like my upcoming smear test, I think I might need a weekly "bugger-off" day of just being somewhere that is not within 5 miles of my house!

I've also driven through parts of town that I've not been through for over a year. Interesting seeing the new building that replaced a tatty old landmark.

Joy's not the right word, but it has felt more alive and engaged than most days for a long time.

Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 16:36

Bog, that's good but I can't enjoy shops with a mask on. Also there's often some awful person squirting sanitiser at you.

my local area wasn't good but has gone downhill very badly.

it's quite telling that I enjoy my working day more than my leisure time at the moment. I never understood people who were perky on a Monday morning but I get it now.

I am having trouble with dates. I looked at my phone earlier to see if there was a way to change the date display to include the month. I honestly thought it was April today, probably weather related.

I couldn't find a way so if anyone knows how to do that on an iphone..?

traffic has been horrendous this week, I don't know why. My sense of time got warped to the point that I thought is it half term, but of course it isn't. Is it possible there are more bored people driving around - I went outside of rush hour but was still really stunned at the traffic.

MoreAloneTime · 14/05/2021 17:07

I've lost all sense of time, maybe it's the endless winter weather or maybe missing 2 normal Easters, not sure. Makes me feel in an almost dream like state.

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 14/05/2021 17:08

Dream like state sounds almost nice more!

OP posts:
MoreAloneTime · 14/05/2021 17:11

It's kind of more like one of those eerie early hours of the morning dreams that you know could turn nightmare at any moment Grin.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 14/05/2021 17:47

At least BoJo has said they’re not looking to “delay the roadmap”. If they’d started announcing new restrictions I think it might have finished me off.

I saw two friends yesterday, one where we sat and nattered, the other I went to the pub with. It felt almost normal (especially the hugging - I couldn’t give one sparkly shit about that aspect of The Rules anymore) and I felt better than I had done for weeks. But the announcement today that there was going to be a press conference knocked all that back out of me again.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 14/05/2021 18:49

Thanks for the the thread (and the kind words!) Summercocktailsinthesnow I appreciated seeing the point of view from more adventurous/spontaneous people and the way it's affected you all, I didn't really underdstand that before. And I agree that we've all suffered, including us lovers of predictability. I'm blaming the virus for behaving in a bastarding unpredictable way. It's like endless Whack-A-Mole.

I'm not even trying to go "back to normal" just trying to move out of the cocoon that I have built around myself for the last 14 months to see what is out there now and see if I can deal with it while I have the chance because who knows what tomorrow will bring? Had lunch in a pub with DH today first time in months which was great though we had a choice of outside in the cold with aclohol or indoors without. And I've arranged a cafe meet-up with a friend. So not moving very far outside my usual cocoon but baby steps.

Flowers to everyone here.

Mugsen · 14/05/2021 21:08

YANBU. Dd got sent home to isolate again. I've heard nearly 100 of them from school. It's set us right back mentally.

Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 21:14

@Mugsen

YANBU. Dd got sent home to isolate again. I've heard nearly 100 of them from school. It's set us right back mentally.
Sorry to hear that

Is that when one child tests positive? For some reason, I thought I heard they weren't going to dothat again.

Mugsen · 14/05/2021 21:16

I'm not sure but am aware at least 4 classes sent home.

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 14/05/2021 22:22

Maybe amaryllis is right, maybe we are expecting too much. Expecting to be feel and be back to normal, when right now that is not where we are, any of us. Maybe feeling meh is precisely a normal reaction to the stress of the situation. We might want to be back to our jolly, energetic selves, and be back on form, but is that realistic?

OP posts:
Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 22:47

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

Maybe amaryllis is right, maybe we are expecting too much. Expecting to be feel and be back to normal, when right now that is not where we are, any of us. Maybe feeling meh is precisely a normal reaction to the stress of the situation. We might want to be back to our jolly, energetic selves, and be back on form, but is that realistic?
I don't expect to feel normal but I had thought I'd feel better IYSWIM.
GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 14/05/2021 22:57

We might want to be back to our jolly, energetic selves, and be back on form, but is that realistic?

It is realistic if we accept that Covid isn’t going away any time soon and we have to learn to live with it. Which I think is where we need to be; there is more to life than Covid and there comes a point where quality of life needs to be considered more strongly.

Ostara212 · 14/05/2021 23:00

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

We might want to be back to our jolly, energetic selves, and be back on form, but is that realistic?

It is realistic if we accept that Covid isn’t going away any time soon and we have to learn to live with it. Which I think is where we need to be; there is more to life than Covid and there comes a point where quality of life needs to be considered more strongly.

But "we" would have to include government...though a lot of people do seem to think "it takes as long it takes".
Wheresmybiscuit3 · 14/05/2021 23:33

Quality of life definitely needs to be considered more strongly.

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 15/05/2021 07:41

I am glad we are continuing with Monday's reopening, although the general feeling is that we are slamming on the brakes, so I am not expecting anything to change in June.

Boris also confirmed no other countries will be joining the green list from Europe over the summer, so it means that we are advised not to travel and will be uninsured, with a ten day quarantine to deal with...so that is overseas travel over.

On the upside, I have the smallest drop of energy today and thought I might try and book a holiday here she says optimistically looking at page after page of sold out properties since 7am Grin

OP posts:
CirqueDeMorgue · 15/05/2021 07:54

Just echoing that the CONSTANT freezing cold and fucking rain hasn't helped. It's May ffs.

Oblomov21 · 15/05/2021 07:59

It is really miserable. The weather is crap. Last nights announcement re Indian strain. Monday is the 17th so you can do indoors. But today has taken the shine off that.

At work, there's no work, no business, no jobs being commissioned. Everyone's talking about it. In our industry and many others theres just ..... nothing. We expected the atmosphere to lift, for May to be busy. But there's nothing. No one can understand the logic of it.

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 15/05/2021 08:01

What area do you work in oblomov

OP posts:
HarebrightCedarmoon · 15/05/2021 08:09

I think it's generalised anxiety caused by the pandemic and everything we are allowed to do just being a little bit shit. Every time we start to look forward to something and plan it might be taken away again, and that's no way to be asked to live really.

I tackle it with yoga, mindfulness, gardening, walking, things which focus on the here and now and what I need to enjoy and be grateful for. And also by having a bloody good rant and moan from time to time.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 15/05/2021 08:12

Boris also confirmed no other countries will be joining the green list from Europe over the summer, so it means that we are advised not to travel and will be uninsured, with a ten day quarantine to deal with...so that is overseas travel over

What? I didn't know that.

And the weather has bern rubbish, well not that bad here but just several degrees colder than it usually is. This is my favourite time of year usually and I'm being done out of it!

Original poster
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 15/05/2021 08:32

Yes it is in the Times today. No further countries will be added to the green list. I will try and find a link.

It said Greece had infection rate of 2,000 a day, which is a lot given the size of the population. Italy in a similar position, and Spain. It is not looking good for this summer.

We would ALL feel better if the weather improved I think!! We could be outside and enjoy some sunshine.

OP posts:
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