Anyone else still feeling flat?

[Summercocktailsinthesnow]

I will say I am grateful to still be here, and I have not lost anyone very close to me to covid. Believe me I am grateful for those things. I am not depressed in the slightest either, however I am finding it increasingly hard to listen to all the conversations about hugging and enjoying life again on the radio and every news channel, and I am just not feeling it. At all. Things don't feel very different to me.

I have shivered through meals and drinks with friends, braved the weather for BBQs, I have even had my hair done! I imagined by now to be feeling much better than I am. But I don't feel better. I am so flat, and find things are not much better than before. The things I most want to do seem still a million miles away.

I am desperate for a holiday, we have worked all the way through, but how easy it that going to be this summer? Chances look exceptionally low. I want to dance at a festival, no chance. Or go to something with live music, anything.
I want to enjoy shopping without feeling muzzled, and I really feel what we have now is not really a whole life at all, it is like a half life. It is nothing like the life I left behind. I have no sense of when it will end. The scientist on the BBC today said she wasn't sure the next reopening will even happen....the moment when some kind of normal happens on the 21st of June.

I can't summon the energy to look forward to anything, because we have no idea if it will happen. I feel like I am being lied to, look at all you can do is the strap line, the reality is freezing cold, wind swept evenings eating cold over priced food, and everything is so limited in experience and in interaction, like trying to enjoy a facial with someone covered in PPE none of this is actually fun anymore!

I am optimist, by nature, and of course I have already counted my blessings for the things we can do, but really I just want my old life back so so so badly. Does anyone else feel like this?

I feel like a hamster in a wheel. I’ve worked throughout Covid in the office so that has felt semi normal and tried to keep my hobbies going such as running and yoga. I feel like I’ve lost the ability to socialise though and have no interest in going to pubs / restaurants if I have to book / wear mask/ leave within 2 hours. Everything takes so much more effort even remembering to take a bloody mask everywhere. Every day just feels like something to get through, I’m always pleased to get to bed at night and tick another day off. No way to live though is it?

I also like to tick the days off.

I was non commital with friends re meeting in pubs indoors but now will say no. It's not worth it, paying for an experience where everyone is stressed out doesn't make sense to me.

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

Yes it is in the Times today. No further countries will be added to the green list. I will try and find a link.

It said Greece had infection rate of 2,000 a day, which is a lot given the size of the population. Italy in a similar position, and Spain. It is not looking good for this summer.

We would ALL feel better if the weather improved I think!! We could be outside and enjoy some sunshine.

Bozza said he won't be adding to the green list 'very rapidly' but didn't rule out adding more countries in time.

I do agree that they very much want to discourage foreign travel though.

Better weather would help. I'm sorry but I'm just not one of those mums who can be positive about going out with kids in all weather. It's been a really miserable experience getting all those bastard layers on a 2 year old only for them to start crying from the cold after being outside for half an hour or having to go home and scrub mud off every with a baby crying in the sling.

I feel the same. Worked throughout and it just feels so rubbish. We used to be a family who went out every weekend exploring and doing activities such as farms, walks, swimming, picnic, holidays etc. But after a year and a half of not being able to do anything. We are now a family who sit indoors, staring at screens. Kids are not interested in doing anything. Me and DH are so deflated and exhausted we can’t muster the energy. I was thinking about going to the zoo or a farm on the weekend but the thought of all the queuing, rushing, masks, social distancing, I just can’t bear it anymore. It’s no longer an enjoyable experience.
Then there’s the weather, was planning on dragging kids out for a forest walk today but it is 90% rain all weekend.
So now the kids are watching yet another movie , while I scroll MN ignoring my huge report that’s due Monday and I haven’t started working on.
I have no energy, no motivation and no lust for life anymore. It’s been ripped away. And life is now just a chore and filled with guilt that my children have lost what was going to be a great childhood.

iced Holiday companies in some cases have stopped selling holidays now, and many airlines are axing whole routes. The only viable option for now is Portugal, and even that is not straight forward. I would love to think the gov are going to open up holidays, but I think the chances are getting smaller by the day, not increasing. I have just read that we won't be able to get insurance anywhere for amber listed countries, as we are advised not to travel. Who is seriously going to travel without insurance in a pandemic? Only the very stupid.

My gut feeling is that we had better make the most of it now, as in right now, as this might be the best it is going to be this year, but can I find the energy - nope!

@Mum2b43 that resonates so much. We have always been a busy active family packing so much into a weekend and now, well I’m forever saying ‘ can’t be bothered ‘ , ‘ what’s the point’.
It’s been a few years since I used MN but this is about as being sociable as I can muster

I feel the same mum

@Mum2b43, that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve spent most of the past year feeling racked with guilt that I had DS at all when all I can give him is this half-life.

The other thing is I'm really tired

I start the day trying to jolly myself along, go for a run etc

But in the evening I hit a wall, I think there'd normally be something to do. Today I had an okay day, but got annoyed with a friend talking about the C word on the phone and then just felt exhausted from about 8.

It's emotional, I know. There's no way to plan the simplest thing without factoring it in. And everyone seems fascinated by the detail of it, even the guy in the corner shop when I went for milk.

This thread again is so reassuring to read. Because I often feel very alone in feeling anxious, angry, deflated. Like everyone else is getting on with it and I am not kind of thing.
This thread makes me feel less alone.

I should be looking forward to a Sunday but I am not. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Today I feel worse if that's even possible, actually had some sun which we haven't had much of all week here, yet I just couldn't muster any energy or enthusiasm to get out and stayed in, feeling like what's the point. Dreading another week ahead of me, just can't be bothered

@strugglingwithlife

Today I feel worse if that's even possible, actually had some sun which we haven't had much of all week here, yet I just couldn't muster any energy or enthusiasm to get out and stayed in, feeling like what's the point. Dreading another week ahead of me, just can't be bothered

Hugs

Today is very long
I couldn't face talking with my folks, mum said "oh are you very busy."

Not at all. I just feel too low to talk and they only talk about Covid or other members of the family and their views on covid.

I'm hoping for a busy work day tomorrow.

Feel awful today as well. Weather isn't helping. Dreading the week ahead. Just mentally drained and everything is making me anxious/irritable

Thank you Ostara212 and hugs to you too.
TrinidadQueen I feel exactly the same, like everything is too much, I just broke down in tears over tidying a mountain of dd's toys away and it doesn't help when dp tells me to go to bed out of his sight as he can't stand being around me when I'm like this and to cheer up and think of people worse off then me.
to you all

The other thing thats literally only just occurred to me, is it just me or have people stopped doing zoom parties?

I remember there was loads of initial enthusiasm for them as a substitute to real life get together about a year ago. We had a really awful one for my DDs birthday. Everyone tried so hard and yet it was still a really awful experience. Didn't bother this year and no one even suggested one.

Really meh weekend this weekend - just couldn't settle to anything so spent most of the weekend staring at my phone, half heartedly watching tv and starting random tasks round the house, and generally feeling like a disappointment of a human being. Had grand plans to do some decorating and take the dog on a long hike, decided I couldn't be bothered, but then hated myself for it yesterday when it was too late to do anything about it, and cried on DH's shoulder for half an hour as I felt like I'd let myself and everyone else down.

I swear this changeable weather isn't helping - I'd actually prefer it if the weather was relentlessly shit rather than sort of sunny, sort of rainy, sort of cold...I find it really unsettling.

This thread has been refreshing to read. Most of my friends and family seem to be thriving right now (babies, new homes, etc.) so while I’m sorry to hear others are struggling, it’s good to know I’m not the only one in a funk, because I was feeling like a bit of an anomaly.

I don’t mind working from home (love not commuting everyday), but my family is overseas, I live alone, and I hate the inability to plan anything for more than a couple weeks out because of all the unknowns. I also feel like any chance of finding a partner is completely over now due to my age and the time I’ve lost to the pandemic. I think the general pandemic burnout mixed with trying to come to terms with a future that involves being single and childless has just completely taken it out of me. I work out every day and am trying to keep busy with home repair stuff and hobbies, and am hopeful as the weather improves I’ll start feeling better (fingers crossed!)

Yes and that's what makes it worse. Knowing that everyone else is doing well and looking forward to what's to come. I feel the opposite.

Many people are putting on a front though, I am sorry to say I am one of them, unless someone actually asks me more than once and properly, then I gloss over my real feelings, for the sake of other people really. I don't want to bring anyone down with my bad feeling. I do know a great number of my friends are feeling the same though. We all put a brave face on most of the time.

loncan can you not restart dating? How nice to go out for dinner now and wear something nice. Maybe there will be pent up demand for new relationships!

Well, Monday has amused me for all of three hours. A tranche of work I was expecting this afternoon will be delayed, giving me less time to finish it.

Re people pretending - I suppose they have to in order to keep it together but I can't help thinking honesty between friends would really help. The sense of isolation is soul destroying.

Took my toddler to a coffee shop for 15m today for a coffee and it was absolutely wonderful. Such a small thing but I really appreciated it after being unable to do things with him for so long. Felt like such a lovely novelty to sit inside, get a high chair, and have someone make a drink for me!

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

Theoretically yes, but I would need to actually have someone to go on a date with lol. My only option is OLD (everyone I know through work or friends is taken or 10+ years younger than me) and I rarely match with anyone. Unfortunate mix of age and unattractiveness I guess.

It looks like you need to a more vibrant place, or hook with some younger friends. I spent years going to flower arranging classes (because I love flowers) and wondered why everyone was older and I wasn't making friends! Start going to bars, or younger places and your own age group. You will get old before your time!! (to add to the misery)