AIBU?
Anyone else still feeling flat?
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:23
I will say I am grateful to still be here, and I have not lost anyone very close to me to covid. Believe me I am grateful for those things. I am not depressed in the slightest either, however I am finding it increasingly hard to listen to all the conversations about hugging and enjoying life again on the radio and every news channel, and I am just not feeling it. At all. Things don't feel very different to me.
I have shivered through meals and drinks with friends, braved the weather for BBQs, I have even had my hair done! I imagined by now to be feeling much better than I am. But I don't feel better. I am so flat, and find things are not much better than before. The things I most want to do seem still a million miles away.
I am desperate for a holiday, we have worked all the way through, but how easy it that going to be this summer? Chances look exceptionally low. I want to dance at a festival, no chance. Or go to something with live music, anything.
I want to enjoy shopping without feeling muzzled, and I really feel what we have now is not really a whole life at all, it is like a half life. It is nothing like the life I left behind. I have no sense of when it will end. The scientist on the BBC today said she wasn't sure the next reopening will even happen....the moment when some kind of normal happens on the 21st of June.
I can't summon the energy to look forward to anything, because we have no idea if it will happen. I feel like I am being lied to, look at all you can do is the strap line, the reality is freezing cold, wind swept evenings eating cold over priced food, and everything is so limited in experience and in interaction, like trying to enjoy a facial with someone covered in PPE none of this is actually fun anymore!
I am optimist, by nature, and of course I have already counted my blessings for the things we can do, but really I just want my old life back so so so badly. Does anyone else feel like this?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Bluesycamore · 11/05/2021 14:45
I feel very similar. It’s sad but I don’t really feel enthusiasm for anything anymore, even the hobbies I used to enjoy. I work part time but find it hard to feel motivated. I enjoy time with my toddler but find it tiring. I have no concentration span and can’t even seem to focus on reading a book or watching something on the Tv. I don’t think it’s depression or anything like that as I still take a lot of pleasure in my daughter etc. But I don’t think it’s normal for me to feel this apathetic about everything. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. It hasn’t helped that it has been such a long winter.
Ostara212 · 11/05/2021 14:48
I know what you mean OP
I posted on a housekeeping thread, while simultaneously being puzzled that just me and my small home and minimal clutter got out of hand.
I realised after, I'm just falling behind because everything seems like work. There's work, there's chores, there's life admin. A lot of basic stuff, errands, are harder because of bank or Post Office queues.
I haven't braved the weather to go to the pub, it doesn't seem worth it. I'd love a change of scene but I think in reality, nowhere will be nice and the prices will be very high - understandably.
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:50
Yes that is it blue I don't find anything interesting anymore. I have some amazing hobbies, but they don't inspire me anymore. Are we burnt out/exhausted do you think?
I genuinely don't know what is wrong with any of us, my friends are saying similar things. Between us we have tried everything, would love to know if someone has tried something that worked. It is no fun living like this. I feel like the heart of my life has been ripped out.
MoreAloneTime · 11/05/2021 14:52
I get wound up when people say we are going to be back to normal in a few weeks because none of my usual stay and play groups are back, I'm still wearing a mask and all the baby/toddler classes are social distanced. I get that things are getting better for some but my life is still going to be abnormal for a while.
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:53
It really resonated with me about the guy that was caught doing 110mph on the motorway answered to the police that he was simply checking to see if he was still alive.
Obv not recommending anyone does that, but the feeling of wondering whether we are here in body but not in mind. Something has shut down somewhere.
MassiveDiscocunt · 11/05/2021 14:54
I feel the same. I was much more motivated before Christmas even though I was shielding. I was exercising loads and looking forward to wearing new clothes when we could go out. Now I should be raring to go, had both vaccinations and we are booked to go away to another part of the UK at half term to visit close friends and Godchildren, and I'm partly back in the office, which I missed hugely but I just CBA with anything.
Ostara212 · 11/05/2021 14:57
@Summercocktailsinthesnow
Obv not recommending anyone does that, but the feeling of wondering whether we are here in body but not in mind. Something has shut down somewhere.
I didn't hear about that, sounds fun!
I don't see any sign of normality. Can't wait to go to in person evening classes.
I am all right with hobbies but the day feels very long.
marvellousnightforamooncup · 11/05/2021 14:58
I feel flat. I've tried socialising but I don't seem to enjoy seeing friends anymore. It's a chore and they annoy me. I've actually been OK being locked down and not having to see anyone. I fantasise about living alone on a hill with chickens.
89redballoons · 11/05/2021 14:58
I'm feeling something like this.
I had a baby at the end of 2019, so most of his life has been under some kind of lockdown. I've been so pleased to get back to seeing friends in gardens and taking my toddler out and about for the last few weeks, but it still feels so flat. Flat is the only way to describe it.
I kind of wonder if this is the "loss of identity" thing that people talk about for new parents, but amplified because I haven't been able to really form much of a new identity since DS was born as everything was closed or went online.
I'm losing a lot of motivation.
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 14:59
massive yes that is it, I was feeling better in the lockdown in mid winter preparing for now. But now has arrived, it is nothing like what I thought it would be.
I was ordering new dresses, booking trips and getting excited about the summer. But now reality is here, it is raining, not summer dress weather and we are all too tired to work up the energy to enjoy anything.
Maybe if the weather improves and we take some time off.....she says clutching at straws.
I am happyfor you non and hope you enjoy your plans.
TadlowDogIncident · 11/05/2021 15:06
I feel incredibly flat. I had a great life pre-Covid and it's clearly not coming back. DS will spend his teens doing music on Zoom and never performing with other people, because there's no economic benefit in children's music. He'll never sing treble in a choir again.I won't get to travel again without testing for an illness that I wasn't at risk from even pre-vaccination. We're all going to be wearing masks forever, because it's clearly more important to signal that we're not transmitting the virus than to let people see our faces and judge our intentions.
I would kill myself if it weren't for DS. I really don't see any point in carrying on.
hamstersarse · 11/05/2021 15:07
Totally the same.
There is an article by Adam Grant that sums it up perfectly.
It's Languishing - the emotion of 2021
It's here : www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
It wasn't behind a paywall last week - I could see it, but maybe you get a few free articles per week.
It's absolutely recommended. Sums it up perfectly
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 15:08
Ah tadlow I am sorry you are feeling so bad, but one day I do think this will be an everyday thing like the cold. Hold tight. I am sure your son will most definitely play to a live audience, and when he does he will appreciate it even more. It is quite crap being a teen right now, my teens are def not having the kind of life I wanted for them. 
Floralnomad · 11/05/2021 15:14
I think you should stop calling yourself an optimist as that may be putting more pressure on yourself and you obviously are not the optimist you thought you were . FWIW I’ve had to cancel 3 holidays and numerous concerts have been moved several times but I’m still looking forward to next week when hotels and indoor eating is open so we can start getting out and about properly . The only reason I’ve not booked anything for next week is that my daughter ( and travel companion) is having her second jab on Saturday and was very ill after the first so I’m holding off to see what happens . I’m fully vaccinated so perhaps that makes a difference to how people feel although we did go away in the uk last year when it was possible and things were open .
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 15:17
Thank you very much for posting that hamster we now have a label and some understanding of this now. Languishing is precisely how I am feeling. I have added the possible solutions on here should anyone not be able to access the article due to the paywall:
An antidote to languishing
So what can we do about it? A concept called “flow” may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away. During the early days of the pandemic, the best predictor of well-being wasn’t optimism or mindfulness — it was flow. People who became more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintained their prepandemic happiness.
The thing that worries me is that I DID feel flow in the pandemic, but the languishing feeling is definitely there now, and wasn't before.
Ofallthebarsinalltheworld · 11/05/2021 15:18
I feel the exact same. No motivation or zing just flat and cba. Work, house, kids etc etc just seems like a struggle to cope with and overwhelming.
A few things have built up and I just keep putting it off (housework,admin)
I hope we all feel better soon 💐
user648482729 · 11/05/2021 15:20
I can’t fight the feeling that it could all be ripped away from us again so easily; I’ve got lots of plans that involve being able to see people inside and stay with friends but I can’t look forward to them as I don’t know if they’ll happen. I feel like that with things like my DD starting school this year; what happens if she starts then they close again.
Summercocktailsinthesnow · 11/05/2021 15:20
I am actually kind of amazed I am managing to get all done given how I am feeling, is getting done, so I get hat ofall the house is clean, children are fed, washing is done but the JOY has gone. The feeling of spark and energy is just not there.
I am trying music later, full on loud music and see if I can't drown and sing out the languishing feeling.
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