If you don't have or want children, why are you here?

[pepsicolagirl]

Disclaimer: I do not mean this in a rude way. I just couldn't think of a better way to phrase it.

I have seen a few messages across the mumsnet forums from women who are happily child free which is great and of course there is nothing wrong with at all.

But it always makes me wonder why you would be a member of a website called mumsnet if you are not and have no wish to be a mum?
So, if this is you, do you mind me asking why?

It is an active, fast moving board, and anonymous without crap like karma etc (looking at you, Reddit). There is a ton to discuss on here that has nothing to do with parenting.

It's the way this question is asked that gets people's backs up (understandably). The why are you here as if you shouldn't be.

If the thread title said 'How did you come across Mumsnet?' no one would have a problem. That obviously isn't just what OP wanted to know though is it? She specifically wants to know why childless women are here and it's that singling out that is annoying and rude. It's not hard to understand how other people other than mother's have ended up on MN, it's not a question that needs asking imo unless you're spectacularly unimaginative.

@drpet49

* I think what the OP means is what attracted you to the site in the first place. Which is a perfectly valid question to wonder about.*

^Exactly this. I wouldn’t join a football forum as I have no interest in it. Most people who have heard of Mumsnet would argue that it is a parenting site first and foremost.

Well, if you Google, for example, 'how do I get biro off a cream leather sofa', you wouldn't end up on a football site, would you, but it's a good bet you'd find a MN thread? You then get curious about other threads within the housekeeping topic and it goes from there. That's very similar to how I, and presumably others, find MN.

I found the 'stately homes' thread when googling about narcisstic mothers and just stuck around. I read threads about food, weight, Christmas, travel and occasionally the child focussed threads just out of curiosity about a lifestyle I will never live. I am in my fifties, happily married, never wanted children (but think they are lovely in a vague sort of way).

MNHQ have clarified time and time again that everyone is welcome, provided they stick to the Guidelines.

I'm here because Mumsnet is THE fount of knowledge on the net and I love a good bunfight

Mumsnet should be renamed 'Womansnet'

I worked with a dreadful, opinionated and stroppy woman who was always hooting with sarcastic laughter and reading things aloud from her PC screen. I loathed her but was fascinated by the things she read out, and realised that a few other colleagues were discussing the topics so were on this mystical website too.

I eventually asked a manager what site they were all on about, found it for myself and sneakily registered, thinking MN would boot me off at any moment for not actually having children. Here I am 6 years later, still enjoying the madness of AIBU and getting recommendations from Style and Beauty.

Been on here 20 odd years - found the site while trying to help my DSis deal with her son being bullied at school (and got her hooked on the site at the same time). DH also checks in occasionally as he was researching something and up popped MNet.... So not only is he childfree but he's a man as well!

I know what you mean...like if there was a dog owners' forum maybe members wouldn't JUST talk about dog walking, there would be a miscellaneous board and whatever, but it would be weird to join just to contribute to that.

This has always puzzled me too.

@Chunkymenrock

Why do these posts persistently crop up? Fgs OP, a great deal of the site is not to do with bloody mums/children. I'm sick of people repeatedly asking this moronic question.

It really is fucking tedious.

*But no judgment at all, no feeling about it either way

@georgarina

I know what you mean...like if there was a dog owners' forum maybe members wouldn't JUST talk about dog walking, there would be a miscellaneous board and whatever, but it would be weird to join just to contribute to that.

That comparison doesn't work. One miscellaneous board vs a majority of boards on MN which have nothing to do with parenting.

@Twenty2

MNHQ have clarified time and time again that everyone is welcome, provided they stick to the Guidelines.

they can hardly say anything else 😂

You have to admit that most forums are mainly about...the subject of the forum, and there's a little chat area somewhere.

Unless you are on it regularly, you'd think Mumsnet is a parenting site.

It’s perfectly reasonable to be curious about how people have found mumsnet, and of course it’s a varied forum that is useful for people in all different situations.
That said, I must confess to being slightly irritated by posts from non parents about parenting issues. Like if someone asks for advice on baby sleep problems for example, and someone replies “well I don’t have kids nor do I have any experience of looking after kids, but I would do xyz”. I do wonder a bit why they’re posting. I would never post on a dog website about dog training, because I don’t have a dog.

Unless you are on it regularly, you'd think Mumsnet is a parenting site.

I now wonder why men come on here

I actually think the name is helpful in keeping away the sort who would completely spoil it. It's a vast-majority female space, but there are some men on here (whether dads or not); however, they tend to be the more thinking, respectful ones with worthwhile things to add to the conversation (with the possible exception of the Sex board).

The boorish, lairy men (maybe even a few women as well) see the name and think "Oh, look - it's the place where the tedious little mummies go to talk about nappies and nurseries - BOOOOOOORING!" Even those who discover that it's mostly not about parenting would still blanch at the idea of joining in chatting with mainly women and their silly, worthless chatter, rather than proper MAN topics; and they self-exclude - which is a great benefit to us all!

@GCAcademic I see what you mean...it's probably just the name then. If it had a more neutral name I would associate it more with a broader range of things and it would be easier to see how a broader range of people would join.

I wish I came on mumsnet and asked for advice before I had kids.

What I appreciate is the range of opinions on here, even if I don’t agree or advice might not work for me, I appreciate seeing the different aspects of a dilemma or solution which posters highlight.

So I only joined once I was a mum, and did not think of looking earlier.

Now is see it a community of (mainly) women, which a lot of people do not have and it is vital.

Fair question I guess, albeit it terribly worded! I found MN by accident after googling something or other. Liked the community, the good advice and swearing lol I was a regular here for probably a decade before any DC. Even now that I have DC, 90% of what I read and post here isn't to do with children or parenthood

@TeddingtonTrashbag

This has always puzzled me too.

Why? Is every chat topic about kids? No? Then there's your answer! Not hard.

@Megplant As a committed childfree person, I love a good go on MN as validation of my life choices...

Gosh, well done for winning the most snipey, bitchy, judgemental and unpleasant post on this thread. It's a high bar.