To never work full time. Ever!

[Egghead81]

I work three days a week.
Two primary children, almost secondary.
Child maintenance plus salary plus rental income from a buy to let means very comfortable but not “rolling it in” ie high end holidays but I’ll shop around relentlessly for best deal rather than just book without thinking; nice car but second hand; cash savings that would be sufficient to cover six months but were not talking hundreds of thousands!

I like my job but don’t love it. I do however LOVE my two days off. They feel like a mini holiday every time. I don’t want to lose that! Not even when children are teens and grown up.

Anyone else have absolutely no intention of ever going full time?! Even though with more money would more of everything you already afford or better (rather than actually adding anything if you see what I mean)

@Heatingsystemwoes

Gosh you sound smug OP. Read the room. There are a lot of people struggling to find work and whilst it's nice that you are delighted with your income from a p/t job, rental house and child maintenance it's a weird thing to post so joyously about in the current climate. I also work p/t but my God I know I'm lucky and how quickly fortunes can change...

So following that logic....

There shouldn’t want threads on holidays?

Because, you know, it’s distasteful to be going on holiday and most certainly discussing it (in anonymous forum) when there’s people’s going to food banks.

Sorry but I think it’s a bit morally vile to live off your children when that money is supposed to be going on THEM. Presumably the child maintenance for the time of their uni or other further education is supposed to help THEM, not pay for you to sit around?!? So they’re going to going to uni and not get full loans due to parental income, but not get any money from home because you can’t be bothered to work?!? WOW.

@rarzy

Does that include uni? Because it's likely after uni they will live with you for a bit?

I certainly hope so! I want them around for as long as possible

As I say, take CM out of the equation, and there would certainly be a change in outgoings but with thoughtful budgeting, it would be ok.

Great... I earn 45k, am the main earner, and work 70+ hrs a week. Good for you....

@Flowers500

Sorry but I think it’s a bit morally vile to live off your children when that money is supposed to be going on THEM. Presumably the child maintenance for the time of their uni or other further education is supposed to help THEM, not pay for you to sit around?!? So they’re going to going to uni and not get full loans due to parental income, but not get any money from home because you can’t be bothered to work?!? WOW.

How bizarre

Take my children out of the equation and CM out of the equation.... I would have my salary and I come from buy to let.

With a fraction of the outgoings.

I’d be living the life of Riley!

These sort of smuggery posts are a bit nauseating.

OP do what you want but I would be very careful about ensuring you will be okay in old age. One of the biggest trials you can face is poverty in old age and it is also one of the biggest burdens you can give you children - having to worry about your poverty and supplement your income or pay for your care home. Do yourself and them a favour and make certain you will be financially okay in old age.

Courts: he needs to provide maintenance so the kids can be supported through higher education to the standard of a well-earning family
Ex wife: LOL good luck going to uni kids, mommy doesn’t want to work!

@HollowTalk

Are you just basing this on the fact he pays child maintenance? Do you think he shouldn't have to?

No, certainly not saying that.

But at standard CM rates OP will be receiving far more than 50% of the cost of bringing up 2 DC if ex is on £80k (it's around £800 per month CM if he doesn't have other DC and they stay over a night or 2 per week), and therefore will be profiting from his earnings herself.

[quote SofiaMichelle]@HollowTalk

Are you just basing this on the fact he pays child maintenance? Do you think he shouldn't have to?

No, certainly not saying that.

But at standard CM rates OP will be receiving far more than 50% of the cost of bringing up 2 DC if ex is on £80k (it's around £800 per month CM if he doesn't have other DC and they stay over a night or 2 per week), and therefore will be profiting from his earnings herself.[/quote]
The amount I spend on blueberries for my youngest.... seems like small fry

Hmmmm.....it seems you want the life of someone who is still married, and be able to be part time, but you're actually a single person. There are not many single people who don't work FT. It is CHILD maintenance. Money meant for them, not for you to work less hours. I find it unethical, especially at this age when they are in school all day, and as teens become more independent. I'm sure you quite enjoy your 2 days swanning around doing your own thing but it's off the back of your ex's FT job (which is probably very stressful considering the high salary).

What is your OWN housing situation? Are you living mortgage-free in a house which is jointly owned with your ex? Or does it belong fully to you?

Have you thought about whether your ex might like to go PT himself? He could probably afford to if his FT salary is 80k and you worked more. Perhaps he would like to have the kids more, and working PT would enable that?

When the youngest turns 18 he no longer has to pay YOU anything, and that's when arrangements will become muddy. He may invite them to live with him FT, and you would be left high and dry. If they are at university he will no doubt pay towards that but there is no obligation at that point for him to pay ANY of your own living costs, if he's paying for theirs at uni. They could stay with him in the uni holidays. That day is only a few years away. I would be squirreling away as much as I could from this point, towards my pension and much higher living costs once he doesn't pay child maintenance to you.

If you are fully able to support yourself & dc without CM whilst working p/t then I'm not sure what advice you need? permission to stay p/t? Your choice.

I would just make sure you have enough savings/insurance in case of illness & the correct amount of pension you need but again your choice.

@SofiaMichelle

You sound lazy and clearly want to ride on your ex's coattails.

You'll be fucked if he jacks in working or drops dead.

Why do you assume that?

She has her job and the income from her rental property.

I think if you have future proofed your life as much as possible then you are doing the right thing.
The people criticising you for not working full time because your able bodied (they assume) and maximising your income and the money spent on your children should really think about their values.
It's different if full time work is necessary to keep the wolf from the door, but using "unambitious" as an insult is weak at best.
There is no-one who knows what the future holds and if your ex does drop down dead as a pp seemed to nearly wish on your children then having you as available to them as you are will only be of benefit to them.
Equally you could become ill yourself and if that were to happen your unlikely to wish you had spent more time in work than with your family and friends.
You have stepped off the ladder and found contentment and I salute you!

@MoiraNotRuby

That's not what I suggested. But inequality bothers me deeply and I wouldn't want to benefit from someone else renting from me, however I had acquired the house. I'm sorry for your loss... I'd probably sell the property and invest in something more ethical.

@MoiraNotRuby Oh give over. People post the most batty stuff here on mumsnet but you take the crown for today 😂.

Sounds like (to use the phasing of today's youth...) A flex post from OP.

Good for you though must be nice 🙄

Yanbu.
I've gone up to 4 days at work now one of mine is in school but I don't intend to go back to 5 ever if possible.

You do you poppet!

YANBU - but as others have said you definitely need to have a clear plan for old age/retirement. There are plenty of pension calculators online - eg. www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/tools/pension-calculator

You can compare your current income to future income and use that to figure out what the shortfall might be. Then you can work out how much you'd need to save between now and then to cover it. Or likewise, make some conscious decisions now around cutting back in older age etc.

But on the face of it, I don't see why anyone would work more than they need to. Life is short and I've never heard anyone say 'I wish I spent more of my life working'.

Presumably you aren't on benefits. I think its fine to only work three days if you can manage comfortably on that money. But the maintenance will stop eventually so you need to considerate that and also your pension entitlement.

Egg I am astounded at the hard time you are getting here.

I have been working part time for the last 7 years and have now decided to increase my hours to 9.30-4 pm. I really wouldn't want to work any longer than this, and thankfully don't have to.

I increased my hours partly as we are so busy at work, I needed the extra time and partly as I don't have much of a pension and need to start putting money into that.

If it were entirely my choice I would have stayed part time. Far less stressful and a nice work/life balance.

My youngest is just finishing primary school so I now have more flexibility.

I would do what you are doing in a heart beat, and can only assume those giving you a hard time have a bad case of sour grapes!

I don't know if you mean to but you sound very smug. I don't think I could morally be a landlord and profit from my tenants

MoiraNotRuby I have inherited a property from my parents. If it is immoral to be a landlord and profit from my tenants, do you suggest I rent it out for free or leave it empty? I cannot live in it as it is a small 2 bedroomed property, there are six of us at home including two adult disabled children who would not be able to access it. We live in our own property that is 100% bought from working rather than any benefits or allowances but we struggle financially as all our money was used on parent's care home fees over the past few years. I am now unsure as to what the moral thing is to do with the other property?

@Egghead81

Savings for the children - my ex is utterly obsessed with this. He has built up a fortune for each child.

I set aside a bit in premium bonds but not noteworthy

That's very fortunate, perhaps the most fortunate aspect of your situation. It frees you in a sense to live a more balanced life where presumably you are also more free to be there for the children day to day. My ex-husband is also a significantly higher earner than me and while I currently pay 50% of everything like 'back to school' prep, camps, etc, he will have to pay a higher proportion of things like for college when the time comes and perhaps also things like house deposits.

I thought the OP was getting a hard time but actually she doesn't appear to want advice because she financially fine so I'm not really sure what the point of the thread is.

a) Shall I stay working part time
b) Do you have savings, x, x?
c) Yes

End of.

Totally depends on your role. You can end up very stretched in a 3 day a week role if not managed very carefully. Personally I would like more holiday - not fixed to working 3 days a week

Oh defo stay 3 days if you can! Enjoy!