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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never work full time. Ever!

300 replies

Egghead81 · 09/05/2021 11:35

I work three days a week.
Two primary children, almost secondary.
Child maintenance plus salary plus rental income from a buy to let means very comfortable but not “rolling it in” ie high end holidays but I’ll shop around relentlessly for best deal rather than just book without thinking; nice car but second hand; cash savings that would be sufficient to cover six months but were not talking hundreds of thousands!

I like my job but don’t love it. I do however LOVE my two days off. They feel like a mini holiday every time. I don’t want to lose that! Not even when children are teens and grown up.

Anyone else have absolutely no intention of ever going full time?! Even though with more money would more of everything you already afford or better (rather than actually adding anything if you see what I mean)

OP posts:

2ndtimemum2 · 09/05/2021 12:27

@Littlefluffyclouds13

What exactly are you looking for by posting this? Such a pointless post.

You do know there are people on here using food banks? Single parents living hand to mouth who receive zero maintenance etc

Modesty, empathy and decent manners are sadly not something that money can buy!

The jealousy in this post is vile! I'm a single mother with 2 kids I was so poor that I was living in my overdraft and had absolutely nothing!! Thankfully through hard work I manages to change my circumstances however just because my circumstances were bad did not not give me the right to begrudge others who's situation was better.

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/05/2021 12:27

YANBU to work part time if that suits you and you can afford it.

I have always worked full time, as did my husband until 4 years ago. Unfortunately, ill health meant he ended up leaving his job. He does some very part time, freelance work now and is home for our 7 year old son. Works for us as it means DS doesn't have to go to wrap around care. I did as a kid and didn't like it.

We do have substantial savings though and I earn a good salary with potential to increase so we can afford for DH to be very part time.

The only thing to be wary of is what happens later, when cm stops. If you have a pension/savings though then you'll be fine.

Babyroobs · 09/05/2021 12:28

What happens when the child related income comes to an end ?

GrasswillbeGreener · 09/05/2021 12:28

I currently work very part time but am picking up some additional responsibilities. I've spent my children's school years initially studying (was meant to get proper funding but it didn't work out), then ran into health problems and earned almost nothing for several years.

This was possible because DH had a decent - not spectacular - salary, and we had saved a lot when first married and I was working full time in a professional job. But I knew even before children that full time work didn't suit me very well and I struggled part time after the eldest was born.

Coming out the other end - children in exam years currently - I'm actually, unexpectedly, beginning a process of returning to my original profession. I've been shown an opportunity that might allow me to work part-time in that field, and continue my other part-time self-employment. I am hoping that the combination will work well to give me the variety I seem to crave without being overwhelming.

Having some control over some of my time is important to me I think. But full self employment is too much admin!! I am also looking forward to improving my pension situation !

osbertthesyrianhamster · 09/05/2021 12:28

What happens when the child maintenance stops?

101jobs · 09/05/2021 12:34

OP, definitely YANBU

Ignore all the nasty and jealous replies.

If it works for you and your family then good luck to you.

Sciurus83 · 09/05/2021 12:35

Also not really sure what you want from this thread? You've got a really good lifestyle you don't have to work for, err well done? It sounds nice, wish I had enough savings to pay for 6 months! Assume you've thought about pension contributions and what you will do when maintenance stops and kids still need help at uni. I know people on mumsnet think 80k is a pittance but that's a really high salary in my circles so your kids aren't going to be getting the max loans for uni, assume you have discussed this with ex-DH though. Those things considered sure of course its nice not having to work as much, I don't work full time for the good of me 'elf!

Sciurus83 · 09/05/2021 12:35

(And yes, I am definitely jealous! )

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/05/2021 12:39

I’d work the extra to secure my children’s future and to provide the best I could for them and ensure they had every opportunity. Likewise I’d want to make sure I had enough for retirement and when child support stopped as would want to help my children past 18 until they were settled properly.

I’d also want to model a work ethic and career to my children and encourage them to aim high and show you can parent and work full time and don’t have to compromise.

Poptart4 · 09/05/2021 12:39

Why work full time if you dont have to ?

I work 3 days per week, mostly because my children are still young. But I cant imagine working full time ever. I can afford to stay at 3 days a week and like the work/life balance I have.

Theres a lot of begrudgery on this thread.

RedcurrantPuff · 09/05/2021 12:40

I always did 4 days but was made redundant last year and my new job is FT. I actually like it better than I thought as it’s much easier to manage clients and my workload than when I did 4 days

4PawsGood · 09/05/2021 12:45

Presumably when the CM stops the children are no longer children?

mellicauli · 09/05/2021 12:45

I am glad you are happy about it - but I was very glad when I returned to work full time. Part timers are sidelined and get given all the dull projects. I was forever playing catch up and the reality was I crammed in a full time job into 3 days. And you are more vulnerable to redundancy. Your child maintenance won't last forever. What about pensions too?

ellsbellsfells · 09/05/2021 12:49

I worked part-time for a number of years for several reasons, but mainly work-life balance, and made cut backs on my outgoings to allow this (no dp). I recently started a temporary full-time contract doing maternity cover and already I miss that extra free time. If you can afford not to work full-time then don't. Personally I'd prefer to have free time than the extra income but I realise that's not a choice everyone has the luxury of making.

SquashMinusIsShit · 09/05/2021 12:49

I never want to work full time again, I work 24 hours over 4 days, I finish at 2pm so.I can pick DD up from school.

I love my day off to get jobs done so we don't have to do.it at the weekend. I can't imagine not having a day off but I think I'll work 4 normal days when DD is older.

My job is the kind i could easily increase to fill time.if I ever needed to otherwise as a family we don't actually need my salary so.it is used to fund holidays and extras

ImaHogg · 09/05/2021 12:52

I only work 2 days per week but care for my mum who has Alzheimer’s the rest of the time so far from an easy ride. I long for the day when I can have my days ‘off’ as days to myself!
I don’t blame you op if you can afford it why work hours that you don’t wish to. Enjoy your days off and have fun, life is too short not to.

ClarkeGriffin · 09/05/2021 12:54

You've only got maybe what, 7-8 more years of child maintenance though. That's assuming that, even though his job is secure, that he doesn't it or something else causes his pay to drop suddenly (illness etc).

If you're happy with dropping income suddenly but still don't want to work full time, then that's fine, but you have to also be happy with the reduction in lifestyle. Can't have everything and not work for it.

But you do have the rental house to sell if needed, so there is that.

CovidCorvid · 09/05/2021 12:58

Will your pension be enough if you’ve only worked part time? This was the push to make me go full time when Dd was a teenager after being part time for ages.

But if you think you’d be ok then stay part time. Work life balance is important.

Flowers500 · 09/05/2021 12:58

Personally I think any adult without disabilities or caring responsibilities should get a job and work full time. And I think if you’re getting lots of maintenance that should be going on bettering the lives of your children, not giving you extra days to do nothing. I don’t understand why people don’t want the best opportunities for their children, you sound like if you worked you would be well placed to give them the best in education

CallmeHendricks · 09/05/2021 12:58

I never returned to full-time work after having my children and they are early/mid 20s now. That was mainly because I'm a teacher and the job literally consumes you and full-timers get little to no weekend downtime, as they're prepping for the coming week.
I used my precious "days off" during the week for housework/wifework and all those jobs that can't always easily fit into the weekend, such as getting the car serviced/MOT'd, dental appointments straight after school for the kids, taking the dog to the vet, sorting out house repairs/deliveries, house admin and paperwork, helping out parents and so forth.
I don't regret it for a moment.

ElspethFlashman · 09/05/2021 12:59

I work 3 days a week.

We can afford it (just). However my pension situation isn't great. I will likely be one of those people working until the OAP kicks in.

However my pension wouldn't be much improved by going full time as I changed careers late in life so won't have that many years built up regardless, iykwim. So the difference in the end would probably not justify me going full time. I am putting as much as I can into it now to try to improve it a bit.

Also we live very frugally. My kids haven't yet been abroad, for example. We shop in Aldi only. I tend to buy very cheap clothes and toiletries.

However the benefit to my mental health = priceless. So there is absolutely no way I'd go back full time even if it means frugality forever.

HouseyHouse21 · 09/05/2021 13:00

YANBU. If you can afford it, then absolutely! I've been seeing lots of trials and advocates for a 4-day week as standard.

I did try to go down to 4 days after my first mat leave but found that I still had the same amount of work to do, was just being paid less for it. Would definitely try it again - would really help my stress levels.

ThatIsMyPotato · 09/05/2021 13:01

@4PawsGood

Presumably when the CM stops the children are no longer children?

Or their dad might lose his job/die

Flowers500 · 09/05/2021 13:01

I would want to ensure my children were provided for at university, and put savings in place to ensure they could get on the housing ladder at the earliest opportunity, and invest in their education. And ensure I had a solid pension so they wouldn’t worry about me when I’m old. Then also try to open doors to cultural opportunities through travel.

All of that before giving myself unnecessary holidays off work.

NoProblem123 · 09/05/2021 13:03

No, I’m poor like most people.
Nobody ‘chooses’ to slog it out all week

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