To never work full time. Ever!

[Egghead81]

I work three days a week.
Two primary children, almost secondary.
Child maintenance plus salary plus rental income from a buy to let means very comfortable but not “rolling it in” ie high end holidays but I’ll shop around relentlessly for best deal rather than just book without thinking; nice car but second hand; cash savings that would be sufficient to cover six months but were not talking hundreds of thousands!

I like my job but don’t love it. I do however LOVE my two days off. They feel like a mini holiday every time. I don’t want to lose that! Not even when children are teens and grown up.

Anyone else have absolutely no intention of ever going full time?! Even though with more money would more of everything you already afford or better (rather than actually adding anything if you see what I mean)

[MrsTroutfire]

[quote YankeeDad]@MrsTroutfire
working PT is largely a female privilege, and it flies in the face of true equality (because in most cases it's facilitated by a man working FT in a well paid job).

I think it's also worth saying that for a man, working FT in a well paid job, while also having children, is in many if not most cases facilitated by a woman who is working PT or is a SAHM or is at the very least the "available parent" for a child who is ill or has a school trip or an activity that requires daytime presence of a parent or caregiver.

That does not make it wrong for all people or couples. Nor does it mean that the FT worker is necessarily getting the better deal. But I think it's worth mentioning.[/quote]
Agreed.

[Hollyhobbi]

Since I went back to work after youngest dd was 26 weeks I have only ever worked 4 days a week. I was using parental leave first then I applied for a four day week which was approved and which I haven't come off yet. Turns out that I was diagnosed with a rare disease 5 years ago which I had unsuccessful surgery for and I would not be physically or mentally fit enough to do a 5 day week now. My ex doesn't pay any child maintenance either so I'm not relying on that. I don't drive so I don't have that expense and my mortgage is quite small as I bought out ex husband when house prices were low. Otherwise I would be in dire straits.

[mumIme]

I work PT (4 days) and have no intention of ever working full time ever again. I have teen children. I find working 4 days / 3 days off is the perfect balance for me. I teach so 4 days allows me some down time. I feel 5 days would be unmanageable.

And no, I don't depend on DH to do this. In fact, I earn more than him, if I worked FT it would be significantly more than him. But on 4 days, I earn a few K a year more than him. In the next couple of years, he's looking to condense his 5 days into 4, so he gets the extra day off too. To afford it, we just have a smaller house than many of our friends, we don't have HP cars, expensive holidays etc etc. But for us, I'd rather not have the flashy lifestyle but instead have time to enjoy life.

It's all about choices, we're comfortable but not wealthy, but personally happier prioritising time over money.

[Mandalay246]

Go for it! I took voluntary redundancy and haven't found another full-time job. At the moment I'm working part-time and loving it I have no intention of working full-time again, and couldn't care less that I don't have a lot of disposable income. I think I am happier than I've ever been in my working life. Some of the posters on this thread are letting their envy show

[Mandalay246]

Incidentally, no man is "carrying" me - I'm single and don't own a home.

[StayingHere]

If I could afford it I would work part time forever. At the moment me and DH cannot afford the lifestyle that we want for us and our DC if we work part time, so we have to get on and work full time. I'm also conscious of ensuring I have a decent pension as who knows when I could end up alone. When my DC are older I will look to drop a day or two and have a better worklife balance. So no YANBU in my opinion.

[sunshinesontv]

I don't understand all the nasty posts. There are a range of topics on mn and they don't all have to be about misery and suffering. I opened the thread expecting a discussion about the pros and cons of part time working. OP, I am in a similar position to you but working ft to pay into a pension - sounds like your btl will fund your retirement so you are in a very comfortable position. Enjoy.

[Elsielouise13]

I think the phrase is ‘married well, divorced better?’

If I was your ex reading this I’d by delighted by your weekly mini holidays...

[Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady]

Some of these replies are mind boggling!

It's "selfish" to not work full time?!

You are smug and clearly unambitious?!

Ambition doesn't have to be purely about work. People can have other ambitions.

I work part time and have no intention of going full time. It's not good for me mentally. If my circumstances change massively I may have to consider it but hopefully not.

I have other ambitions but none of them include working full time in a random office job and I'm not selfish because of that.

[sunshinesontv]

@Elsielouise13

I think the phrase is ‘married well, divorced better?’

If I was your ex reading this I’d by delighted by your weekly mini holidays...

What's it got to do with her ex?

All he pays is cm, as he should. The rest of her income is earned from her own wage and investment.

If OP started working more hours, he'd pay the same amount of cm.

OP has decided she values a comfortable life and pt employment over working ft for more disposable income, as is her right.

[vivainsomnia]

What do you want to hear OP? Yes, 99% of single mums in your situation would choose to only work 3 days if they could do so and still be in a very good financial situation.

99% of single mum are nowhere in your extremely privileged situation. Most struggle financially or work FT and are tired.

Is that what you wanted to hear, how much you are envied by the mass.

[YankeeDad]

I don't assume that the OP posted in order to provoke envy.

I think there is a social norm that says a person is only a worthwhile person if they work full-time or if they are a full time carer, or some combination of the two. Also there is often an idea that one can never have enough money, and it's always worth striving to get more money, often at the expense of personal fulfilment, relationships, caring for others, health, etc. The alternative is to be "unambitious." On top there is the constant bombardment of messages saying to get this or that shiny new thing in order to feel happier and more fulfilled.

For so many people there can be no other choice on how to spend their time, and full-time work or caring responsibilities, or both, are a practical imperative.

But some people do have a choice. That does not make them better or worse people, it's just how it is. In any system some people are better off in some way; life is just not fair. In our system in the West, there is also this pressure to always go for more, which ends up reinforcing the system that keeps the majority of everyone else struggling. Whereas, if it were more socially acceptable for a person to say "Actually, I have enough and don't need more material things than what I have available now," and to slow down, look up and look around, enjoy life and help others around them, then perhaps the whole system could become a bit kinder and gentler for everyone.

Only the OP can work out whether the numbers make sense for her. But I suspect she may also have been looking for validation here that saying "I have enough" would not make her a less worthwhile person.

[SofiaMichelle]

What's it got to do with her ex?

All he pays is cm, as he should. The rest of her income is earned from her own wage and investment.

As he's a high earner he pays considerably more than half the cost of the children and OP uses that extra to subsidise herself.

If her ex earned £30k, OP would receive around £500 per month less from him, but he'd still be paying exactly what he should.

Absolutely he should be paying and absolutely OP should be taking it, but that wasn't the point that was being discussed.

[Mistressinthetulips]

@YankeeDad two excellent posts

[Sweetmelody72]

@YankeeDad

I don't assume that the OP posted in order to provoke envy.

I think there is a social norm that says a person is only a worthwhile person if they work full-time or if they are a full time carer, or some combination of the two. Also there is often an idea that one can never have enough money, and it's always worth striving to get more money, often at the expense of personal fulfilment, relationships, caring for others, health, etc. The alternative is to be "unambitious." On top there is the constant bombardment of messages saying to get this or that shiny new thing in order to feel happier and more fulfilled.

For so many people there can be no other choice on how to spend their time, and full-time work or caring responsibilities, or both, are a practical imperative.

But some people do have a choice. That does not make them better or worse people, it's just how it is. In any system some people are better off in some way; life is just not fair. In our system in the West, there is also this pressure to always go for more, which ends up reinforcing the system that keeps the majority of everyone else struggling. Whereas, if it were more socially acceptable for a person to say "Actually, I have enough and don't need more material things than what I have available now," and to slow down, look up and look around, enjoy life and help others around them, then perhaps the whole system could become a bit kinder and gentler for everyone.

Only the OP can work out whether the numbers make sense for her. But I suspect she may also have been looking for validation here that saying "I have enough" would not make her a less worthwhile person.

Thank you for this post @YankeeDad. Resonated hugely with me. I made the decision 6 months ago that I had ‘enough’ and reduced to a 3 day week in a less senior role. Like the OP, I like my work but don’t love it, and was in a particular role that I found impossible to switch off from - even though on paper I worked 30 hours a week.

Of course I miss the money but I had enough for a comfortable life and retirement.

Bottom line was I became sick of my job and salary being what made me feel validated, IYSWIM. I’ve always been the full time working career woman - even when I worked part time and flexibly, bizarrely!

I may seek ‘more’ in the future, but for now I’m enjoying what I have

[Sweetmelody72]

[quote Mistressinthetulips]@YankeeDad two excellent posts[/quote]
Oh I think I missed one. Only read one excellent t post

[Macaroni46]

OP ignore the socialist nonsense from @MoiraNotRuby about being a landlord. Utter rubbish!
As for working PT, if it works for you financially carry on.
I've recently gone PT and it's saved my MH. I'm lucky enough to earn enough to just about have enough to live on working PT for now but am mindful that I may have to up my hours in the future. I think you need to be prepared for that eventuality.

[lazylinguist]

YANBU OP. There is nothing morally superior about working more hours than you need to, in spite of what some people think.

People are so desperately trying to find reasons why the OP will somehow end up poor in the end, when she has answered all these points multiple times. The 'What happens when CM ends' question alone has been asked about 20 times since the OP said she could manage fine without it.

[Egghead81]

@Macaroni46

OP ignore the socialist nonsense from *@MoiraNotRuby* about being a landlord. Utter rubbish!
As for working PT, if it works for you financially carry on.
I've recently gone PT and it's saved my MH. I'm lucky enough to earn enough to just about have enough to live on working PT for now but am mindful that I may have to up my hours in the future. I think you need to be prepared for that eventuality.

I couldn’t resist going back to her and asking what she would do.

Apparently sell it and invest in something ethical

I enquired as to what

She didn’t come back

[MoiraNotRuby]

Seems like you are sniggering about me... I am back. To answer your question, google ethical investment. There's lots of information online. My choice would be microloans to women's businesses.

To the poster who described my own personal view point as socialist nonsense, try and remember we all have different opinions and experiences in life. You don't need to criticise someone for answering a question.

[Egghead81]

@MoiraNotRuby

Seems like you are sniggering about me... I am back. To answer your question, google ethical investment. There's lots of information online. My choice would be microloans to women's businesses.

To the poster who described my own personal view point as socialist nonsense, try and remember we all have different opinions and experiences in life. You don't need to criticise someone for answering a question.

Never going to happen

Not least because I would feel thoroughly shut kicking my tenants out.

My tenants who
A) love the home
B) have said that the location is phenomenal for them but they could never buy here
C) have zero intention of buying because they’re in their mid twenties and love the freedom of renting. As did I when I was their age.

You look “down” on renting and thought it was immoral. It is a view that has all the nuance and insight of a 14 year old “right-on” year old.

Hence the sniggering

[Grenlei]

This from the OP who posted asking to 'borrow' someone's Which login to help her decide what TV to buy

I don't think really OP you're in a position to be sniggering at anyone else's posts...

[Whenwillitmakesense]

Surely if the op can afford (and wants to) work part time she should. That then stops her taking a job that someone may need (who doesn’t have other income to rely on).

Also - there are many people working full time who will not have adequate pension fund - op will have the investment income which helps her out in that respect

[Dweetfidilove]

Grenlei

This from the OP who posted asking to 'borrow' someone's Which login to help her decide what TV to buy hmm

I don't think really OP you're in a position to be sniggering at anyone else's posts...

OP did say she shops around relentlessly looking for deals, so stands to reason she doesn't want to pay for a Which review. All part of keeping her spending within reason.