To miss my old life so very much

[Eggyquiche]

Adore our toddler Dd, had her late and waited a long time for her, but so miss our old life.
Most days are just a slog, hard work and with meltdowns. I usually wait for bedtime just to have a moment of peace. Even days out are pretty exhausting and just something to be got through. Of course there are lovely moments and I love her so much, but I was happier before overall 😥and I feel terrible saying that.
We live abroad so have no help at all, we’ve never been without her or on our own in almost 3 years.
Looking back, our life was a dream life. We’d wake whenever we wanted, have a leisurely breakfast, watch what we wanted on tv in peace, maybe head down to the beach, or we’d lounge around sunbathing in the garden, having lunch with wine and head to the beach for sunset and ocean swims.
Now, I generally get woken by a shouting Dd, complaining as she doesn’t sleep well. Dp and I rarely get on these days as it’s mainly about controlling Dd when she gets too hyper, we have no time for each other and are both exhausted. We can barely even talk to each other as Dd demands so much of our attention. She’s an amazing girl but has never slept well as she never wants to sleep. I now spend summer evenings May in bed trying to coax her to sleep whilst she jumps around.
I know I sound so awful, but our life before was so very different, filled with travel and leisure and love for each other, I cry at how much I miss that sometimes and then feel guilty.
I can’t believe how easy life was before kids.

[CirqueDeMorgue]

OP, I'm sure many would absolutely love to be in your position but so sorry for making you feel 'even shitter' about your quite pleasant sounding life. :)

[Eggyquiche]

@Draineddraineddrained Did I say she slept the whole way through?? She doesn’t and never has. We co-sleep, personal choice and v common where we are, before some criticise that too. She’s always always had broken sleep and wakes for me during the night. Ok?

[Eggyquiche]

@Choices21 I was 39 when we finally managed to conceive after many ivf attempts, 9 years of infertility, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy etc

[CirqueDeMorgue]

@littlepattilou oh no, vile? Yeah, that's totally changed my opinion. 🙄

[Choices21]

@CirqueDeMorgue. I’m not sure what hand life has dealt you, but you do sound very bitter. I’m sorry to hear you feel this way.

@Eggyquiche finds parenthood difficult and misses her old life. That’s natural if you ask me! She’s not asking for sympathy but probably just an out to let off some steam. That is ok.

[Eggyquiche]

@CirqueDeMorgue We never really knew people’s lives do we..I hope you can be happy in yours, we never know what’s going on in people’s lives, all we can try to do is understand. I feel I’ve touched a nerve, apologies if I have, but no, my life isn’t always that pleasant.

[CirqueDeMorgue]

@Choices21 like many many other people here, you're incredibly transparent. It's boring.

[littlepattilou]

[quote CirqueDeMorgue]@littlepattilou oh no, vile? Yeah, that's totally changed my opinion. 🙄[/quote]
Yeah sadly, people YOU never change their ways. No matter how much people point out their nastiness. What a thoroughly unpleasant person you are.

[littlepattilou]

[quote Eggyquiche]@CirqueDeMorgue We never really knew people’s lives do we..I hope you can be happy in yours, we never know what’s going on in people’s lives, all we can try to do is understand. I feel I’ve touched a nerve, apologies if I have, but no, my life isn’t always that pleasant.[/quote]
Don't apologise to it!

[littlepattilou]

@CirqueDeMorgue

OP, I'm sure many would absolutely love to be in your position but so sorry for making you feel 'even shitter' about your quite pleasant sounding life. :)

Condescending and patronising, with a sickly passive aggressive smiley face too. On TOP of the nastiness and rudeness.

You're on a roll this afternoon eh?

[Choices21]

@CirqueDeMorgue. Await your sarcastic response....

[CirqueDeMorgue]

@littlepattilou I'm confident that no one who actually knows me would describe me as such. You're a stranger on the Internet, thats all. Just like I am. :)

[Eggyquiche]

@littlepattilou Well, I feel some bitterness here perhaps and if so, I sort of get it. We waited a long time to have Dd and never thought we would, which makes me feel even worse about this post 😥 but I used to think that about people who complained about motherhood.

[Choices21]

@CirqueDeMorgue

Even before I could post. knew it! Bingo.

[littlepattilou]

[quote CirqueDeMorgue]@Choices21 like many many other people here, you're incredibly transparent. It's boring.[/quote]
Seriously, who the fuck pissed on your chips?

Having a bad day are ya?

Maybe go have a glass of wine Cheer yourself up.

also have a passive aggressive sickly smiley face too.

[littlepattilou]

[quote CirqueDeMorgue]@littlepattilou I'm confident that no one who actually knows me would describe me as such. You're a stranger on the Internet, thats all. Just like I am. :)[/quote]
Yeah I am confident people in real life CAN see you for what you are. You can't hide the real YOU that we are seeing here.

[CirqueDeMorgue]

😂😂😂

[ErykahBaddy]

I think this is a pretty normal feeling. Young kids take over everything. You can't live the same life you had pre-kids. That's just a fact.

Just enjoy the good bits (which tbf, there are plenty) and remember that in a few years your child will be much more self-reliant. And a few years after that, they'll probably want to spend very little time with you and you can go back to sleeping late, having hobbies, going out, etc. except then it will be even better because you'll truly appreciate how great it is to do all those things!!

[littlepattilou]

[quote Choices21]@CirqueDeMorgue

Even before I could post. knew it! Bingo.[/quote]
Time to start ignoring the hairy handed poster.

[littlepattilou]

[quote Eggyquiche]@littlepattilou Well, I feel some bitterness here perhaps and if so, I sort of get it. We waited a long time to have Dd and never thought we would, which makes me feel even worse about this post 😥 but I used to think that about people who complained about motherhood.[/quote]
Don't worry. And ignore the goady baiter on here.

[CirqueDeMorgue]

Bless you, @littlepattilou. The sort of person who can't handle a different viewpoint so resorts to 'insults.'

OP, I literally said 'suck it up,' you have no other option really. Yeah, children can be draining but the grass is always greener, isn't it.

[Lelophants]

Yep! This is us

[littlepattilou]

@ErykahBaddy

I think this is a pretty normal feeling. Young kids take over everything. You can't live the same life you had pre-kids. That's just a fact.

Just enjoy the good bits (which tbf, there are plenty) and remember that in a few years your child will be much more self-reliant. And a few years after that, they'll probably want to spend very little time with you and you can go back to sleeping late, having hobbies, going out, etc. except then it will be even better because you'll truly appreciate how great it is to do all those things!!

Yeah pretty much agree with this. ^

[CirqueDeMorgue]

And sorry OP if I really did make you feel shitter, I am actually having a bad day.