To want people to calm my baby by his actual name?

[SimGuruRu]

Name change as outing. To avoid the inevitable “what’s his name” replies ... he’s called Brian, hence outing.
He’s 6 weeks old and friends and family seem unable to call him by his actual name. They make up stupid names for him “baby Bobo” for example, I’ve had people literally snigger when I say his name. MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby and she can’t say it without laughing.
I’ve told DH I’m getting to the point where I feel if people can’t call him by his name maybe they shouldn’t be seeing him?! He thinks this is an overreaction and that I’m being too dramatic. They are going to make him grow up hating his own name.
AIBU?

I love my child and that would be an unfair thing to do to him. You have to consider these things when naming a baby. He will grow up with this teasing and your beloved grandfather will be long gone.

@LittleTiger007 I’d love to know what you called your kids if you think Brian is so bad?

It does seem a little odd when you first hear it because it is unusual (no judgement, my youngest has an unusual name that would probably get torn to pieces by some of the so called adults on here) but you soon get used to it and it becomes another name. It is not unreasonable to expect people to use your son's name at all, not doing so is incredibly rude and you are right about it shaping your sons opinion on his own name which is not fair. I don't think it is unreasonable to say if you can't respect Brian and his parents then you can't see him.

The Mirror have just got hold of this seen on fb.It states all the details too.

FWIW, OP, I taught a little Brian once and he was an utterly charming wee lad.

I couldn't have used it though. My family are utter torments and I'd have got endless, 'He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!' and jokes about his left shoe.

I’m often take aback by modern names (being old an’ all). But what I have found is they grow on you so very very quickly.

Just keep using his name yourself and people will get used to it.

Sorry MIL is so rude as to not keep her thoughts to herself. Can you give her a cutesy replacement name eg Nanny Nonny Noo Noo as Grandma just seems so old fashioned after all 😉

@LittleTiger007 the only people who would tease him are adults, children hear a name and realise it is just a name, there are lots of unique names in my child's class and she doesn't bat an eyelid. They are not weird names, they are just the names of her friends. There are so many different names now that Brian won't really stand out in the classroom - the bullying comes from adults who ought to know better than to tease a baby for their name.

You could draw the same list of elderly Alans with a modicum of fame or success. Doesn’t mean it’s not a cruel name for a baby born today
I've actually met a toddler and a baby Alan recently so must be on the way to a comeback. I just thought it was a cute name. Absolutely ridiculous to say its a cruel .

“It's a older man's name, but so is Alfred, Archie, Monty, Reggie... it's not controversial! “

Yes but you would never hear Alfred for a child would you? It would be Alfie. Similarly, you would never hear Archibald. Archibald! Or Reginald. It’s Archie and Reggie and even as adults they are known as this.

I wonder if the old lady names such as Mavis, Ethel and Deirdre will be next?!

I love the name Brian! Your family are being very rude and hurtful. When my niece was born I hated her name but I would not have dreamed of saying so to her parents because it's not my business. I grew to love the name because it's her name. Give your lot chance for it to grow on them but don't tolerate rudeness.

@EileenGC

Poor baby Brian

Why? The only reason he’d be made fun of, is because idiot parents like the posters on this thread would mock his name in front of their children, thinking they’re funny and they know best. Then the kids go into school and do the same - but only because they saw their parents do it. You ask a 5 year old what they think of Brian, they’re not going to say ‘it’s old fashioned’.

The world out there is also very big, and I can assure you no one outside the UK would bat an eyelid at Brian. Not that it makes a difference where you are, when it comes to respecting someone else’s choice and not being rude to them or their child.

Oh come on, you think you can speak for all of the 8 billion people in the world? You can assure us that not one single one of them would find Brian a slightly unusual choice for a baby born in 2021?

What a ridiculous statement, how do you even know that the posters on this thread are from the UK?

Well there's a surprise, this 'story' is already in the media. Quick work there, very catchy one indeed.

Brian is a very strange choice tbf, I understand your sentiment but surely you're aware that the name will be setting him up for ridicule (I wouldn't but lots of people will).

As an aside it's probably nothing to do with the actual name, my new daughter has a beautiful name but we rarely use it and she gets all sorts of cutesy nicknames, as does my 3yr old DS. It's done out of affection and if you complain it will be very awkward for everyone.

My friend called her baby Keith, they get similar reactions, I think some of it is surprise, I had to consciously modify my reaction from surprise/disbelief when they told me, simply because it's not a common name and one I associate with my parents' generation. An old fashioned but no longer common name is much better than making a name up or some of the crazy misspellings you see. People will get used to it and if they don't challenge the fact they are openly mocking a small child.
With the cutesy nickname thing, DS has a regularly MN approved name that's hard to shorten but people call him all sorts so I'm not sure the two things are linked, unless someone has said I'm not calling him Brian and insists on calling him something else.

I actually find it really sad that people are so concerned with what other people think of them.

As a teacher your child’s names mean nothing to me. George could be a little shit and Mercedes an angel.
As a child I never cared what other people’s names are and now the world is even more multi-cultural you are bound to get all different names.

I can’t imagine calling my child a name only because lots of other people have it and they’ll blend in to the background more.

Yes but you would never hear Alfred for a child would you? It would be Alfie.

Not round here! We know several little Alfreds and the posher ones are strictly to be called Alfred.

I’d love to hear the Uber trendy or “classic” names some of these posters have. Sniggering at a baby’s name is utterly repugnant.

How can people be so rude - both your RL friends and some posters on MN?

People will end up loving the name as they see your baby grow.

I have some lovely friends with names many would consider non-U, and because my friends have coloured their names for me, I now really like those names. Same with Brian!

I had this issue with my DD1 name everytime thought it was too “ old fashioned “she suits it beautifully now 🤣
Her name is Dorothy :)

You’re surrounded by rude idiots, OP. Tell them in no uncertain terms how rude they’re being.

There are literally hundreds of names I wouldn’t call my baby, for whatever reason, but I don’t think the names are awful or laugh at people who use them.

I’ve only known lovely Brians. And the more you say it the less odd it is. Ignore the idiots.

That's so uncalled for OP, and must be very hurtful.

I'm sure given time the rude comments and nicknames will stop but I do think your partner needs to pull your MIL up on her lack of tact.

Don't let it detract from your beautiful baby.

I wonder if the old lady names such as Mavis, Ethel and Deirdre will be next?

"Old lady names" are already back. Violet, Mabel, Edith...

I love the name Brian. Even nicer to honour your grandad like that. I know a Brian, who is 3. He is a lovely boy and the name really suits him. He is confident and charming.

Let’s have some perspective here people, the baby is called Brian, it’s perhaps not everyone’s taste but I’m sure not everyone thought your own choices were perfect either.

Enjoy your baby. Be firm about sniggering, made up names etc.

OP you must have realised that calling your baby Brian would get such a reaction? On par with naming your baby Nigel. Could you not have used it as a middle name? Or just own it. Ignore the looks, titters etc and be proud of it.

My relative called her little girl Eileen. She had the same problem. Most of the family just call her E.