To want people to calm my baby by his actual name?

[SimGuruRu]

Name change as outing. To avoid the inevitable “what’s his name” replies ... he’s called Brian, hence outing.
He’s 6 weeks old and friends and family seem unable to call him by his actual name. They make up stupid names for him “baby Bobo” for example, I’ve had people literally snigger when I say his name. MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby and she can’t say it without laughing.
I’ve told DH I’m getting to the point where I feel if people can’t call him by his name maybe they shouldn’t be seeing him?! He thinks this is an overreaction and that I’m being too dramatic. They are going to make him grow up hating his own name.
AIBU?

@Branleuse

It makes you think why is the name Brian seen as old fashioned, but the name Briony for a girl isnt

The names are completely unrelated - sound similar but Briony (or the original spelling Bryony) is after the plant.

Full disclosure I have a Bryony! And I did get a couple of reactions off people who haven’t known one. She had a nickname at first - not because we didn’t love it but because it was a bit of a big name for a tiny baby! But as she reaches toddlerhood she’s really settling into it and she rarely gets the nickname. We gently ‘guided’ family and friends out of it by making sure we always used her full name - so if people say ‘oh how is Boo?’ reply with ‘Brian’s doing really well’ etc.

@Silvercatowner

This thread is causing me to lose the last vestiges of belief I had in the inherant niceness of most people.

Indeed. Honestly, have a word with yourself if you think Brian is ‘a terrible thing to do to a child’. It’s really, really not.

Brian is quite an unusual choice for a first name these days, but I don't think that's necessarily why they are not using it - it's normal to use a cute nickname when talking to a baby/small child. My DS is 4 and we still only use his full name when he is in trouble :)

Brian is a lovely name. My DS name is similar and people often mis-heard it as Brian sometimes I'd correct them but nothing negative.
MIL is very rude.

Aibu is particularly nasty at the minute. I hope you aren’t reading this OP, or at least skim over the “jokes”,

Fwiw I like the name Brian but even if I didn’t everyone should call him by his name. I think he will grow into it too (unlike some names that just sound like babies).

I’d have a word and say you find it hurtful but most of all this can’t continue and it’s disrespectful to all (including grandfather).

@safiya7

“It's a older man's name, but so is Alfred, Archie, Monty, Reggie... it's not controversial! “

Yes but you would never hear Alfred for a child would you? It would be Alfie. Similarly, you would never hear Archibald. Archibald! Or Reginald. It’s Archie and Reggie and even as adults they are known as this.

I wonder if the old lady names such as Mavis, Ethel and Deirdre will be next?!

Really @safiya7? I know 3 Alfreds, none of them are Alfie. London/home counties border.

[quote youngandbroken]@LittleTiger007 the only people who would tease him are adults, children hear a name and realise it is just a name, there are lots of unique names in my child's class and she doesn't bat an eyelid. They are not weird names, they are just the names of her friends. There are so many different names now that Brian won't really stand out in the classroom - the bullying comes from adults who ought to know better than to tease a baby for their name.[/quote]
I absolutely agree and I went on to say that they should call their child whatever they want to, people will grow to love it.
I also stated that it would be rude to comment. I simply said that some names ... and Brian is one ... will get some responses that you are not happy with and you have to factor that in when you choose the name. If they had considered this, and accepted the likelihood of some negative flack they might receive, then I don’t think they would be posting on mumsnet, trending and reaching the national press (which this thread has done). Further solidifying the shock at the name, which is sad.

Brian is a bit throwback, but when you think about it, it’s actually just Ryan with a “B”. Plenty of Ryans about.

Nigel - just no. We all know who springs to mind there. And Keith went away with Keith Chegwin.

My daughter has a gorgeous unusual, but not weird or made up, name (not as controversial as Brian.) However, it really didn't suit her as a baby. We called her twirly-whirly for almost all of her baby-hood. Once she was a "person" on her feet and talking, it suited her perfectly.

I wouldn't worry about the baby pet names, it's not as if they've chosen to call him by his middle name instead.

Bad Luck Brian is reborn!

@SimGuruRu

Wow must say I’m surprised by some of these responses. Didn’t expect that from fellow parents 😞 What on earth is wrong with Brian? Why is it any different from George? Alfie? Archie?

It isn't @SimGuruRu and much nicer than Sid, Vinnie etc or current identikit trendy names like Noah, Reuben etc

But you've posted in AIBU which is full of cunts wanting to put the boot into a new mum by criticising her choices.
It's not you, it's them

FWIW I LOVE Brian

It's a strong, classic name and he won't be one of 5 in his class. It'll suit him as as a child, teen and adult
I know a Brian in his twenties and he's lovely - I'm sure your son will be too. It's a lovely tribute to your grandad

People will use silly nicknames when he's a baby but he'll grow out of them

Please ignore internet arseholes And enjoy your baby and stay strong in your choices - much better than making the same choice as everyone else just to 'fit in'

There must be something wrong with me. I just don't get the utter assholery people seem to give off with the whole, "Surely you knew what you'd be getting yourself into," bullshit. OP called her son Brian, not Gaping Cuntface. What's wrong with people? It's a goddamn name, not a disease.
Brian's fine. I have two Brians in my family... both gorgeous inside and out... hasn't stopped them from marrying amazing women and making multiple babies with them. FFS. People are weird.
Nobody will laugh at him at school or growing up. Don't sweat it, OP. MN is hardly a reflection of reality. We'd all be doomed if MN became the voice of reason.
Your lovely Brian will be absolutely fine in life. Fuck MN and its shitty, simple-minded chorus of vipers. Don't give it a second thought, OP. OP, you're dealing with people who call theis sons Reuben and think that's ok???

Dolly - no I don’t know any Alfred children. Mind you, my youngest is 12, so maybe this is a more recent trend? I’m London too. I know a Freddie and an Alfie, that’s it.

theis = their

The Brian in our family is a wonderful, strong, kind, fun-loving person, very much loved by all of us, OP, if your baby turns into half of the human being our Brian is you will be very lucky .

I associate the name with warmth, comfort, stablity and partys

Im sure your baby is an absolute darling, unlike a few people on here!

@cheesecrackerz

I can't believe people on here are being so rude about your babys name

YANBU, Brian is his name and people on here and IRL shouldn't be so bloody rude.

I agree though that baby booboo etc is probably just baby talk rather than avoiding his name, unless they've specifically said something horrible.

This. I agree.

Can't believe the posters telling you you still have time to change it, or telling its your fault for chosing it, or asking what you expected and suggesting you should have had it as a middle name.

Can you hear yourselves? You're being so unbelievably rude. There's many many names that I would not have chosen myself, but I still have the common decency to call them by it and not give unwarranted opinions about them.

Let’s take Jarvis Cocker .. when was he born, early 70’s? I imagine his parents were on the receiving end of sniggering & raised eyebrows.

But look how he turned out as someone has previously said Cool.As.Fuck.
Also, I give you Bryan Ferry. Slightly different spelling. Original people make the name. I bet your little boy will too, OP.

There’s two separate issues I think.
The nicknames is fairly normal for any baby and I think it’s unreasonable to try to stop people saying them. You can ask of course, but it’s a bit odd.

People being outright rude about a name YANBU to be annoyed by. There are plenty of names I would never call my child, but I don’t insult people who use them.

OP called her son Brian, not Gaping Cuntface.

😂😂

Unfortunately AIBU is rife with threads started as a wind up, particularly from "new" posters with slightly unusual baby names, so I think some people are assuming this is a joke and responding accordingly.

Most people remember the baby name "Balonz" thread . It started with some polite tactful reactions but quickly descended into farce.

Op hopefully you've found some comfort in the positive replies.

Maybe I'm an outlier but I love the name Brian.

A friend had a similar reaction with calling her daughter Mildred - she really suits it.

I think as long as you are calling him Brian the problem will sort itself out as he gets older. My daughter is 2 and tells anyone who calls her sweetheart I not sweetheart I Isla. It is difficult to argue with a toddler about their name and most people would not try to.

I like the name I have a lovely friend called Brian.

@TheVanguardSix

There must be something wrong with me. I just don't get the utter assholery people seem to give off with the whole, "Surely you knew what you'd be getting yourself into," bullshit. OP called her son Brian, not Gaping Cuntface. What's wrong with people? It's a goddamn name, not a disease. Brian's fine. I have two Brians in my family... both gorgeous inside and out... hasn't stopped them from marrying amazing women and making multiple babies with them. FFS. People are weird. Nobody will laugh at him at school or growing up. Don't sweat it, OP. MN is hardly a reflection of reality. We'd all be doomed if MN became the voice of reason. Your lovely Brian will be absolutely fine in life. Fuck MN and its shitty, simple-minded chorus of vipers. Don't give it a second thought, OP. OP, you're dealing with people who call theis sons Reuben and think that's ok???

Ha ha I was with you all the way, especially re “Gaping cunt face”, but why did you spoil it at the end by slagging off other people’s choice of name? Totally undermined your own position there!

My cousin and his wife called their baby Brian, 30 odd years ago. Cousins bil was an obstetrician who had helped them through a difficult pregnancy, he was called Brian, so a fitting tribute. We also have another cousin called Brian, so it was a family name. My uncle, the grandfather of the baby, insisted on calling him wee Jimmy. Which was very rude.
My daughter has a friend whose name is pronounced Bree On...we are in Ireland. He is 24. She also has a friend called Barry, if that helps!
I don't understand the concept of calling a baby Bryn, because you are calling him after Brian.
Enjoy your baby op, babies are great.