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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want people to calm my baby by his actual name?

814 replies

SimGuruRu · 07/05/2021 07:59

Name change as outing. To avoid the inevitable “what’s his name” replies ... he’s called Brian, hence outing.
He’s 6 weeks old and friends and family seem unable to call him by his actual name. They make up stupid names for him “baby Bobo” for example, I’ve had people literally snigger when I say his name. MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby and she can’t say it without laughing.
I’ve told DH I’m getting to the point where I feel if people can’t call him by his name maybe they shouldn’t be seeing him?! He thinks this is an overreaction and that I’m being too dramatic. They are going to make him grow up hating his own name.
AIBU?

OP posts:
SimGuruRu · 07/05/2021 08:00

Title should read “CALL” not calm

OP posts:
GappyValley · 07/05/2021 08:00

In the nicest possible way, you surely knew what you were letting yourself in for when you named a baby Brian..?

But it’s pretty normal to call babies by cutesy nicknames, even if they haven’t been called Brian.

SimGuruRu · 07/05/2021 08:02

He isn’t always going to be a baby though is he? He’s named after my grandad

OP posts:
Wilkolampshade · 07/05/2021 08:02

No, just no.
Brian?
No.

VettiyaIruken · 07/05/2021 08:04

You chose the name because you like it. It's not to everyone's taste but it is extremely rude to comment.
Try to see the baby boo whatever as normal silly baby talk unless they also comment on the name.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/05/2021 08:04

YANBU for people to call him by his name. I think Brian has unfortunately got a certain reputation that is impossible to shake, and am a little surprised you didn’t think of this beforehand. Do you not like any different names? You’re still in the window to change.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 07/05/2021 08:04

It is completely normal for people to use cutesy nicknames for babies.

mogtheexcellent · 07/05/2021 08:05

I like Brian! Dd goes to school with an Ian. I was speaking to his mum about his name (Ian was one of our choices) she says he didn't grow into his name until he was walking. I kind of understand it. You may have the same with Brian.

IndecentCakes · 07/05/2021 08:05

Are you a fan of Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine?

"While you were out
spreading the gospels
according to whatever you believed in
at the time
Her Majesty's axeman cameth
and closed the hospital
the birthplace of our bonny baby Brian"

Anyway, as you were Grin

DungeonKeeper · 07/05/2021 08:06

No but then he’ll be a toddler called Brian..

I would have used it as a middle name to be honest.

Smartiepants79 · 07/05/2021 08:06

Well, Brian was always going to be a controversial name for a baby. Personally I really don’t like it.
BUT for people, especially family, to say that out loud is incredibly rude.
Cutesy nicknames are normal for babies though. My babies rarely heard their actual names for the first year of their lives.
By the time he’s old enough to notice they’ll have got used to it. Little boy Brian is better than baby Brian.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 07/05/2021 08:07

They're being incredibly rude.

However Brian was always going to be a controversial choice.

Northernshepherd · 07/05/2021 08:07

YANBU. Do you mind Bry if they called him baby bry. They're being so rude if you've named him after your grandad. I don't see how it's different to the other old man names that happen to be in fashion.

picklemewalnuts · 07/05/2021 08:07

People use cutesy nicknames- spud, squirt, Bobo,- often rhyming ones (Brian the lion, roar!).

As he turns into a person rather than a blob of baby, the name will work better.

At the point Archie and Alfie started to be used, they sounded old and stuffy too. Then suddenly they became really popular names.

Don't worry, ignore, it will pass.

Sceptre86 · 07/05/2021 08:07

It's very common to call babies by cutesy names, my own mum always calls my dd by one. Dd now is 5 and says, 'that is not my name, my name is xxxx'. Her nan has stopped calling her the cutesy name now. It will stop eventually, in the mean time reinforce that you prefer they use baby's actual name. I can understand that it is annoying for you but not letting people see Brian over it is a massive overreaction.

RampantIvy · 07/05/2021 08:08

What's with the hatred of this name? I know a few adults called Brian, not to mention that there have been a few Brian's in football. Is it because it is so old fashioned?

Checkingout811 · 07/05/2021 08:08

Regardless of whether people like it, think it’s horrible, think it’s controversial or not, these people not calling him by his name are being rude! There’s no 2 ways about it, it’s wrong and I would be seriously annoyed!
You do not have to justify your name choice to anyone and you most certainly don’t have to change it!!!
It’s pathetic really that grown men and women snigger at a child’s name. Really pathetic.

cheesecrackerz · 07/05/2021 08:09

I can't believe people on here are being so rude about your babys name

YANBU, Brian is his name and people on here and IRL shouldn't be so bloody rude.

I agree though that baby booboo etc is probably just baby talk rather than avoiding his name, unless they've specifically said something horrible.

wonkylegs · 07/05/2021 08:09

Our DSs have very very standard names and they still got various nicknames / baby names from everyone some of which have stuck (and bear no resemblance to their names)

If you don't like it tell people but it's fairly standard and will happen, the vast majority will die off as they get older but plenty will stay. Your name choice may have a bit to do with it but it's a fairly common practice whatever you name your child.

Checkingout811 · 07/05/2021 08:09

Same @cheesecrackerz it’s so uncalled for

Flowerlane · 07/05/2021 08:10

Everyone has to choose a name they love I totally agree and if you loved Brian because it has a family connection then that’s totally your choice, but and I mean this as nice as possible did you not think people might be a bit unkind of the name? Would it not have been better to put Brian as a middle name?

Saz432 · 07/05/2021 08:10

I think everyone is being really rude. It’s not some insanely spelled “unique” name, it’s an actual name and of significance to OP. While it might be a slightly jarring / unusual name for a baby, there’s nothing actually wrong with it and he will grow into it.

I would just tell them to use the bloody name and stop being so rude.

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 07/05/2021 08:12

People are nobs! Just start making up daft nicknames for them as well

Mowington · 07/05/2021 08:12

I'm Brian and so is my wife.

Member984815 · 07/05/2021 08:13

Why is Brian a controversial choice, it's fairly common name where I am from especially in my generation