To want people to calm my baby by his actual name?

[SimGuruRu]

Name change as outing. To avoid the inevitable “what’s his name” replies ... he’s called Brian, hence outing.
He’s 6 weeks old and friends and family seem unable to call him by his actual name. They make up stupid names for him “baby Bobo” for example, I’ve had people literally snigger when I say his name. MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby and she can’t say it without laughing.
I’ve told DH I’m getting to the point where I feel if people can’t call him by his name maybe they shouldn’t be seeing him?! He thinks this is an overreaction and that I’m being too dramatic. They are going to make him grow up hating his own name.
AIBU?

Not helpful but I'd have chosen it as a middle name or altered it to Brynn or similar.

They are rude to say the name is awful. But I wouldn't stop them from seeing him - that seems like a ridiculous reaction.

With regards to the nickname lots of family (including me and DH) call DS (now 5) lots of cute nicknames. He still knows his name

Names go round in cycles, how do they ever make a comeback if someone doesn't go first? I bet a lot of the people being unkind about your baby's name (in real life and on here) have DCs called Jack, Sam, William, Harry, Henry etc - no one I went to school with had these names, they were unthinkable and considered in the same way you're all talking about 'Brian' now. (Although I did know a couple of young Brians!)
'Elsie' is another one which people would have mocked as being an old lady's name but I've heard of. several over the last couple of years.
OP you need to decide whether you can live with the unkindness you're experiencing.
People calling other people's babies anything other than their given name really annoys me but that is going to happen regardless of the name I think.
You need to either change his name (but no guarantees you will lose the daft names relatives are using), or hold your head high, use the name with confidence - and above all enjoy these precious times x

I like it on his 18th birthday you can do a photo book called "The life of Brian" (so far)

People are just being rude

@Member984815

Why is Brian a controversial choice, it's fairly common name where I am from especially in my generation

Exactly. Your generation. Very few names age through time, James is the first one that come to mind that does. It doesn't have a 'classic' ring to it as other older names do. Just sounds like someone's grandad.

There are many names that work both for a child and an adult. Brian is not one of them. Bit like Gary or Ian, you don't hear those any more.

The babyish nicknames are completely normal for a newborn; and often last well into childhood.

I suspect you are overreacting to that because of a sensitivity around his real name, which you must be aware wouldn't be a popular choice for many.

For those saying it's just another name like Edward, Arthur, Alfie, etc it's really not, and there's no way it's going to come back into fashion. It's not one of the classic, old English names, and people are going to react to it negatively.

You've made your choice though, and for sound family reasons, and he will grow into it, and people will get used to it.

@mygenericusername

Please change your babies name op. He won’t appreciate you calling him after his grandfather. As somebody with a named after my grandmother name trust me. I hate my hideous name. I wince when I’m asked for it.

Same, and it's just my middle name. I've changed it by deed poll.

Some of the comments on here aren't very kind. He's your baby and there is obviously a lot of meaning behind the name. Also, people are constantly making up weird and awful names whereas Brian is a traditional and at one point very popular name so leave each to their own.

But on the point of nicknames I do get this!
We gave my daughter a very beautiful, kind of rare irish name. We always get comments from people we meet on how nice of a name it is. Yet our family (well, DP's family) forever feel the need to shorten it and use nicknames! It's a beautiful name and doesn't need to be shortened. So annoying!

[quote Bagamoyo1]@DappledThings just for info - it’s not because it’s an old fashioned name that hasn’t yet become fashionable again. It’s because it’s the name of a character in a Monty Python film, The Life of Brian. A whole generation of people know the film, and the multiple quotes, which revolve around the name Brian.
His name’s Brian
I’m Brian and so is my wife
He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy etc etc

It’s a joke name. That’s what people are referring to.

OP I’m sorry to say you’re going to get plenty of people sniggering over the name in years to come, but you knew that was the case when you chose it, as does anyone who gives their child a “different” name. Calling your baby by cute pet names is normal I think, although I can see it might be irritating at times.[/quote]
You’ve totally missed the point of Life of Brian. The joke is that Brian was, at the time the film was made, a very common middle class boring British name. Therefore the idea of the Messiah being named Brian shines a light on the absurdity of venerating one individual and, by extension, religion as a whole. Brian himself is not a figure of fun and the name was chosen for the character precisely because it was so unremarkable.

OP Brian McFadden from Westlife got on OK when Brian was not a popular name. It’s quite Celtic and so stayed more popular in Ireland and Scotland I think. I suspect that people are mostly making up the pet names because that is what people do with babies and they will get used to it as he gets older.

@RosesAndHellebores

It isn't an awful name in the context of genre and far nicer imo than: Jadon, Darren, Gary, etc.

Just as Thomas, William, Edward, Frederick, George, Henry picked up favour in the 80s, peaking in the 90's and Wilf, Arthur, Stanley, picked up in the 90's peaking later, so too will:

Stephen, Brian, Paul, Nigel, Clive etc, in time.

My contemporaries (male) at school were Simon, Martin, Peter, John, Julian, Jeremy - they will come round again.

CLIVE omg imagine calling a baby Clive 😂

Wow must say I’m surprised by some of these responses. Didn’t expect that from fellow parents 😞
What on earth is wrong with Brian? Why is it any different from George? Alfie? Archie?

@Wandawomble

Annoying as it is I’d try not to get affected by it too much. I think people are forgetting the attractive scienceness of Brian Cox, the amazing guitar of Brian May and the Kingly roar of Brian Blessed. Nothing wrong with the name and yes he could always be Bry if he wanted.

It’s normal though to call babies by baby words when they cry etc - heck I still call my daughter Boo Boo and she is taller than me!

I’d not worry too much.

Great examples- Brian Cox especially!

Brian is lovely! Also very useful because if people quote Life of Brian at you then you know they’re the type of people you’re likely to get on with. OP I would just ignore the whingers.

Nothing wrong with the name Brian. Oldest brother shares it as a name and over the years it's been shortened a few times, but mostly it suits him (he's a child of the '60s, though). It's an ancient, Celtic name which is derived from 'Bran', who was supposedly the King of the Irish. More importantly, @SimGuruRu, it was your grandfather's name. Despite what a previous poster outright said, I'm sure your baby will grow to love not only his name... but also that he's called after his great-grandfather. And, let's face it - he'll be the only Brian in his classes!

People always have an opinion about whatever we name our babies. But then again, they also have (sometimes/often are) arseholes. Both should be things kept to themselves.

But Brian is a really standard normal name, I must have 3 / 4 Brian’s at different points in my classes when I was young. How is that a controversial name? It’s surely up there with John or Alan as generic names for boys?

For what it’s worth I like it as well!

I’m sorry @SimGuruRu.
It seems that many posters in this thread are actually just as judgmental and lacking respect as some of your family/friends.

You chose that name. It should be respected. Both out of respect for you and for your baby who will always have that name.

Brian's a fine traditional name in a few years it will be back in fashion. To kids there's no negative connotations. Now every kid is called arlo , nemo and rhubarb they will all be jealous. Of brian having a normal name. No arlo b arlo c and ARLO d

each to Their own but people will always have an opinion on names. my Grandad's name was Bryan and I would never call my kid that but I also hate lots of names that people love, Evelyn Ellie Eva etc 😂

OP I would give family a few more weeks to adjust. I think your MIL is being awfully rude and so are many posters on this thread. Brian is a perfectly normal name, even if it is out of fashion at the moment. It's easy to spell but he will probably be the only one in his class and it has a personal connection for you. I am not sure why your MIL thinks Bobo is better than Brian.

I wouldn't let people using pet names bother me - many people do for babies whether or not they like the name - but I would say something if the rude comments continue.

.....so will the names Stephen, Brian, Paul, Nigel, Clive etc peak again in time.

This made me laugh as my dad is called Stephen and his two best mates are called Nigel and Clive.

My post is totally irrelevant to this thread but it just made me inwardly chuckle

@MoiraNotRuby

Persevere. I know a lovely child named Brian. Meanwhile there are trillions of Ryans and nobody comments like they do for Brian.

That’s actually the biggest problem- he’ll go through life having to correct people calling him Ryan.

Having had a quick scan at the baby names section on here Brian seems like an extremely normal and sensible name compared to some of them. Op I wouldn't even reply to your relatives if they critise his name in front of you just completely ignore them, don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they're winding you up. Also if strangers snigger when you tell them his name just say something like 'Well that's rude' make them squirm

Some really horrible comments on here.

OP, over 30 years ago my brother called his son what we thought was a hideous, old fashioned name. My mum and I were mortified. The name was Harry. A couple of years later Princess Diana named her second son Harry and look how popular it became!

Just ignore people. It's his name, you love it and that's all that matters.

My nephew is called Ralph. V unusual in our demographic and took a bit of getting used to. Although the now 27 year old 6 foot 2 doctor, still gets an affectionate "Ralphie" from.his aunties.

OP please ignore these rude people - and rude posters!!! I can't believe what people are saying!! Brian is a good name - miles better than Archie and the like if you ask me. Just focus on knowing that you like the name, and why you've chosen it. You don't need other people to use it or approve of it for it to be a great choice.