Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect an exception for bf baby?

999 replies

PatchItUp · 05/05/2021 14:41

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

OP posts:
Grognonne · 05/05/2021 15:37

The policy is no children. It’s got nothing to do with breastfeeding or discrimination. Nightclubs have a no under 18 policy. Would you expect them to let your husband bring in a baby for you to feed?

Justforphoto · 05/05/2021 15:38

@Lemonelderflower

The thing people are missing is that at this young age they don’t really count as a ‘child.’

For a breastfeeding mother of a tiny baby you are pretty much one person. People can YABU all they like but that’s how it is. That’s why there are laws in place about it.

But then mn is never very kind to mothers of tiny babies.

Try using that excuse to take them to a nightclub when they reopen. Adult only is adult only, it might not count as a child to you but they aren't an adult either.
ChameleonKola · 05/05/2021 15:38

@TheKeatingFive

Also can we stop talking about womens’ infant feeding choices with terms like ‘abysmal breastfeeding rates’?

Why though? They are poor.

You can argue it’s not particularly important if you like, but p

‘Poor’ makes it very clear that you think bf is the goal and any deviation from that is a negative thing.

We could easily reframe it as ‘formula feeding rates are excellent!’

But I prefer not to ascribe value judgment to how people feed their babies.

CharlotteRose90 · 05/05/2021 15:38

YABU. Most of the salons I go to have a children or babies policy because we want peace and quiet. Some salons let children in maybe you should have queried when you made the booking. They can’t bend the rules for you and not everyone else.

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 15:38

Chamelon 4 month old ds has just zonked out on my shoulder after guess what - a bottle of cow and gate Smile

I reject breast is best and I favour choice is best.

But that has to be true choice.

Not “I desperately wanted to breastfeed but I couldn’t because “

EarringsandLipstick · 05/05/2021 15:39

HD will time their schedule and steps to precision,

In my 40-odd years of getting my hair cut, I have never experienced this 😂

I'm often waiting at one or other stage of the process, which is fine. It's not an exact science.

3totheright4totheleft · 05/05/2021 15:39

I wouldn't care if you breastfed while I was there (although I might if it meant my own appointment ran late and I couldn't get home to my own child). But you said you were looking forward to a relaxing time. It won't be very relaxing if you think any minute now your husband is going to turn up with the baby.
I realise it's easy for me to say. I haven't had a haircut since August and I probably won't have one till this August!

bigbeatmanifesto · 05/05/2021 15:40

Yabu
I wouldn't want the smells of a salon, hair dye, hairspray etc around the baby but also I'd just wait for a haircut or ask a mobile hairdresser to come to my house and cut it if I really needed it cutting.

TownTalkJewels · 05/05/2021 15:40

I’m a bit torn here- what’s the reason for the no child policy? If it’s health & safety/ insurance related then I understand their perspective.

If not, I’d expect them to be more reasonable. It’s just a baby.

ChameleonKola · 05/05/2021 15:40

@Lemonelderflower

It’s not an abysmal outcome because of women choosing to feed their baby formula.

It’s an abysmal outcome because a lot of the women who feed their baby formula milk would have preferred to breastfeed. That is wrong, just as wrong as someone who wishes to feed their baby formula being forced to breastfeed would be. But I digress.

Okay, if you’re talking about the percentage of women who wanted to bf but we’re unable to, then that’s a different matter. But that’s a subsection of the number of people who formula feed as a whole. It wasn’t clear that was what you were referring to and came across like you thought any non bf feeding relationships were abysmal.
EarringsandLipstick · 05/05/2021 15:40

@Grognonne

The policy is no children. It’s got nothing to do with breastfeeding or discrimination. Nightclubs have a no under 18 policy. Would you expect them to let your husband bring in a baby for you to feed?
There's stiff competition, but this must be the winner for the most idiotic response while also spectacularly missing the point

🏅

crazeelala2u · 05/05/2021 15:41

@Pebbledashery

I don't think you realise how... A) entitled you sound B) ignorant you sound C) unreasonable you are
This!
TheKeatingFive · 05/05/2021 15:41

But I prefer not to ascribe value judgment to how people feed their babies.

You knock yourself out.

I presume you understand why it is desirable from a public health POV?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/05/2021 15:41

You aren't looking for any special treatment or to inconvenience anyone. It will be quick, manageable & not affect anyone.

How would the hair dresser know if it will be quick or not. Some babies take forever to feed, bottle and breast. Also, it will hold them up because they can't carry on with the treatment with a tiny baby lying underneath them, so it will hold up their clients for the rest of they day.

stackthecats · 05/05/2021 15:41

@Grognonne

The policy is no children. It’s got nothing to do with breastfeeding or discrimination. Nightclubs have a no under 18 policy. Would you expect them to let your husband bring in a baby for you to feed?
Whatever you want to believe, that ISN'T the law.
Therealjudgejudy · 05/05/2021 15:41

@stackthecats... people saying this is unreasonable and you throw in Brexit as a reason? So weird...

PatchItUp · 05/05/2021 15:41

@BonasthatBonas yes it takes 15 minutes but why would that mean it needs to stop the HD working? As others have pointed out many times there is loads of dead time at the hairdressers. More likely than not it would coincide with this.

Anyway DH has messaged to say he took the bottle so no drama. All of those panicking about him having a tub of hair dye spilt on him in a freak accident (has this ever happened to anyone you know?!) can relax

OP posts:
LouNatics · 05/05/2021 15:42

A hairdresser isn’t a public place, it’s private property and it is legal to disallow entry by age. Plenty of places do not allow children, including resorts, pubs, restaurants, gyms, medical and beauty treatment spaces. No children means no children, it’s not a breastfeeding issue. I can’t take my adult height/adult behaving DD 16 to the “adults only” spa. A baby definitely counts as a child.

I was a single parent with young dc and no one to leave them with and I didn’t have a haircut for nearly six years - other than diy with my kitchen scissors.

Onedropbeat · 05/05/2021 15:42

Also, I thought in law that breastfed babies were outside of ‘no child’ policy’s as whilst a breastfed baby under the age of 6 months is breastfeeding it is part of the mother effectively

A mother cannot be expected to not go anywhere for 6-12 months to ensure her baby has access to necessary feeds outside of child free areas

EarringsandLipstick · 05/05/2021 15:42

Glad to hear Patch enjoy the haircut

😂 at your post!

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 15:42

I’m glad he was able to take the bottle, OP.

Flowers
Onedropbeat · 05/05/2021 15:43

@LouNatics

A hairdresser isn’t a public place, it’s private property and it is legal to disallow entry by age. Plenty of places do not allow children, including resorts, pubs, restaurants, gyms, medical and beauty treatment spaces. No children means no children, it’s not a breastfeeding issue. I can’t take my adult height/adult behaving DD 16 to the “adults only” spa. A baby definitely counts as a child.

I was a single parent with young dc and no one to leave them with and I didn’t have a haircut for nearly six years - other than diy with my kitchen scissors.

You went 6 years? More fool you

Just because you suffered through doesn’t mean every other single mother should have to

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 15:43

@Onedropbeat

Also, I thought in law that breastfed babies were outside of ‘no child’ policy’s as whilst a breastfed baby under the age of 6 months is breastfeeding it is part of the mother effectively

A mother cannot be expected to not go anywhere for 6-12 months to ensure her baby has access to necessary feeds outside of child free areas

You are correct.
Viviennemary · 05/05/2021 15:43

Imagine if some hair dye dripped into the baby's eye.

stackthecats · 05/05/2021 15:44

[quote Therealjudgejudy]@stackthecats... people saying this is unreasonable and you throw in Brexit as a reason? So weird...[/quote]
It's the judgy ill-informed tone whereby posters pop up to call the OP entitled and give their amateur opinions on the legal situation which are almost all completely wrong. Far worse in this country since Brexit IMO. Everyone' s an armchair expert and totally, completely unashamed to visibly not know wtf they are on about.

Swipe left for the next trending thread