To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

"Breastfeeding mothers have every right to exist in our society, and those who do not support them are in the wrong."

Unfortunately their babies do not have the right to go anywhere that does not allow children. Age discrimination does not apply to under 18s. Businesses are allowed to cater exclusively to adults. Many restaurants and bars do, my spa does. Plenty of other places where they are welcomed or tolerated at least.

I would have taken my money elsewhere. I think it should be made as easy and convenient for breastfeeding mums as possible. I’m sorry for your experience.

@EarringsandLipstick my niece actually. My sister's eldest daughter if you want me to be precise. Don't see how her degree and subsequent training and very short career as a solicitor is a drip feed. As her much older aunt, who is a doctor not a solicitor, I'd have done the same thing in her position in order to ensure I was a) acting lawfully and b) had the means to defend my business against anyone challenging my legitimate decisions. After all you only have to google to find the vitriol against adult business owners who want an adult environment for their clients.

@EarringsandLipstick you need to understand what the word abuse means
I said i wouldn't like it if a colleague was to leave to b/f every hr or if in an exam a crying baby was brought in to the exam whilst I was sitting
I never abused just stated an opinion so please get you facts right
Don't accuse me of something I have bot done , your the one who doesn't believe the numerous solicitors on here

If shewantsto get her hair done in a salon, and needs to be able to, reasonably, feed her baby while there, she should be able to.

No because children are not allowed onto the premises. There doesn't have to be an exception for breastfeeding mothers, no matter how much people want there to be. It's at the salons discretion. I'm sure they have legitimate reasons. What if their insurance doesn't cover children?

After all you only have to google to find the vitriol against adult business owners who want an adult environment for their clients.

No idea what this refers to.

Apologies for my errors.

"And the guidance states that there are only two circumstances where it is legal to prevent a woman breastfeeding (those I stated above)."

Surely because it's obvious that no one will be breastfeeding in a place where their baby isn't allowed in.

I find it sad that so many people piled in at the beginning of the thread giving incorrect information and telling others they were wrong - when in fact they were wrong.

If you think about it logically, the Equality Act is there to attempt to prevent discrimination. The issue in question that we want to protect from discrimination is breastfeeding. So anything that favours or allows a child that is bottle fed or fed by any other method yet does not allow/discriminates against breastfed babies is the issue.

It is ludicrous to think that this would extend to allowing breastfed babies into spaces where there is a blanket ban on ALL babies. It is misunderstanding the spirit of the law and what it intends to accomplish.

Thanks Tier for explaining as you did earlier.

And the guidance states that there are only two circumstances where it is legal to prevent a woman breastfeeding (those I stated above).

And one of them applies to a hairdressers.

There doesn't have to be an exception for breastfeeding mothers, no matter how much people want there to be.

Legally, it seems questionable.

Morally, there absolutely should be. Breastfeeding should be made as easy as possible for every woman who wants to do so.

Re-read OP's final post. And the list of horrible adjectives used to describe her.

It's shocking that a site largely used by women can be have so many vile misogynistic posters.

Aside from that, I believe breastfeeding should be encouraged, of course I do, but I'd ask myself this - it's not just about following the law, it's about what is right.

If there are hairdressers that are happy to have bf babies in, and those that really are not, and the space is mean to be child free, is it fair to try to enter that space when there are alternatives?

@Somethingsnappy that is a good point and something that should maybe be put in as its clear many don't know one way or other
Although for me personally I found it hard to believe that a nightclub for example had to allow a baby in to be b/ f as some were claiming
I think this is all just to do with no child policy which is why people said op bu if was a salon with kids in then it would be very different of they refused her

I can't wait to ask dp to pop my bf baby into the local nightclub one night, if he refuses his bottle, now I know they're allowed everywhere.

W*orried
*
You have posted the exact same point over, and over now.

We get it.

I still maintain that failing to actively support breast feeding women, and using a test of reasonableness in that regard, is wrong & shameful.

The amount of whataboutery used on this thread to defend a shitty approach by the salon is unreal.

It's nothing to do with misogyny whatsoever - I am a feminist and have been my entire life - it's to do with what is fair.

It's easy to throw insults at people but misses the mark completely here for, I imagine, most people who have posted. It's honestly laughable that anyone could consider me misogynistic and that most likely applies to a lot of other posters.

They should have told you it's a no child policy.
It strikes me it would have been sensible to juat get a cut. As a colour does take ages.

Legally, it seems questionable.

No, it doesn't. It's very clear. No children at all. Any children, for any reason. No exceptions.

@EarringsandLipstick i can support b/ f but also accept that some places want to be child free
It is possible to accept both you know
You just name call anyone who disagrees with you
As i have said I b/ f my children So i have no issues with it or bottle fed as its a mothers choice and no one elses
But as a mum I also appreciate that some places don't want my kids , its really that simple

I just do feel that a tiny breastfed baby is not the same as a toddler running around

The thing is if they allow a 2 month old then someone with a 4 month breastfed baby will complain. Then someone with an 8 month breastfed baby will say it's not fair. Then someone with a 13 month BF baby will complain. Then you have a 16 month BF baby running around.

If 2 months is ok and a toddler is not then when do you cut it off? If you say 6 months the you'll get lots of Oh, he's only 6 months and 3 days. It's obviously much easier for them just to have a blanket ban.

YANBU
I would suggest asking that they revise their no children policy for breast fed babies under 1 year of age. But I would not go to a hairdresser that had a no child policy. Perhaps just write a review with positive and negative points on their website rather than formal complaint?

@EarringsandLipstick

Just because I disagree doesn’t make me nasty. I could say I think you’re a zealot. Does throwing accusations around make you feel good?

Having a haircut/colour and talking about essentially is in the context of COVID. I very much doubt the hairdresser would have issue in ‘normal’ times. They’ve just reopened after lockdown. I’m sure they and many other businesses are navigating a very dynamic and challenging situation.

"The amount of whataboutery used on this thread to defend a shitty approach by the salon is unreal."

I don't think their approach is shitty. Plenty of salons catering to families and kids. What's wrong with having some for those of us that want an escape from kids and babies, for whatever reason. Plenty of choices for everyone who wants a haircut, no one suffering or losing out or enduring discrimination. Just choices for folk who want different things.

@sunshinesontv

"And the guidance states that there are only two circumstances where it is legal to prevent a woman breastfeeding (those I stated above)."

Surely because it's obvious that no one will be breastfeeding in a place where their baby isn't allowed in.

Then by that logic, surely it should be obvious that a breastfeeding woman would not be in a 'men only' space, and that guideline would also not have to be stated??

'No children at all. Any children, for any reason. No exceptions.'

The entitlement of people who can't, or won't, get their heads around this 🙄

YABU. Exchange it for an adults only screening of a film at the cinema. They wouldn’t allow your EBF baby in as it’s an adults only screening, even if it’s Spiderman and they would allow you on a normal screening.

I say that as a mum who breastfed and had her hair done... the whole cut and dye... and opted for the hours my hairdresser allows children in. Now I am back to the adults only slots because it’s my time to chill.