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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect an exception for bf baby?

999 replies

PatchItUp · 05/05/2021 14:41

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

OP posts:
warmup · 05/05/2021 16:38

[quote BlindingLights101]@worriedatthemoment

Read this - it’s quite easy to understand.

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/breastfeeding-in-public-places/

It sets out the exceptions under ‘are there some places where I cannot breastfeed?’ There are only two and child-free spaces aren’t one of them.

A business can be a childfree space but it can’t refuse service to a breastfeeding mother.

It really isn’t difficult[/quote]
It does say about chemicals though....

worriedatthemoment · 05/05/2021 16:38

@WorkplaceLlama can you point me to that legislation then ?
As im sure taking a baby into a nightclub is not allowed

Twizbe · 05/05/2021 16:38

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Lemonelderflower so you think the salon should if just let her sit there for 10 or 15 mins and the next appt delayed or mayve the colour left on to long ? Or maybe it drips on the baby
It wasn't just a 40 min haircut
And also common sense is you try a baby without a bottle first
So also can a mum at work have her baby brought in to be bf every couple hrs ? [/quote]
Actually yes. Work need to allow nursing mothers space to either express or feed their babies.

worriedatthemoment · 05/05/2021 16:39

@warmup and as op having a colour there are chemicals

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 16:39

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Lemonelderflower so you think the salon should if just let her sit there for 10 or 15 mins and the next appt delayed or mayve the colour left on to long ? Or maybe it drips on the baby
It wasn't just a 40 min haircut
And also common sense is you try a baby without a bottle first
So also can a mum at work have her baby brought in to be bf every couple hrs ? [/quote]
I have literally never once had hair dye drip onto me in 25 years of highlights.

And as for letting the appointment overrun, yes, if necessary. Things happen.

And by the way you don’t need to keep tagging me. I am on the thread, I can see your replies.

AppleAppleAppleApple · 05/05/2021 16:39

@worriedatthemoment YES, workplaces have to accommodate breastfeeding. When I went on maternity I read through the legal policies - if I am breastfeeding, baby can be at work for me to breastfeed.

You’re flogging a dead horse here. You’re wrong.

SometimesRavenSometimesParrot · 05/05/2021 16:39

Realistically you feeding the baby might well stop the hairdresser doing their job properly or efficiently, so YABU. They’re tight on timings and can’t afford lost time for you to BF.

If you’re looking down to settle baby they might not be able to cut properly, they’re not going to be able to blowdry while you’re breastfeeding and I imagine most wouldn’t happy throwing colour about with a baby eating, so you’re actually being really disruptive.

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 16:40

[quote worriedatthemoment]@WorkplaceLlama can you point me to that legislation then ?
As im sure taking a baby into a nightclub is not allowed [/quote]
You are incorrect.

WorkplaceLlama · 05/05/2021 16:40

[quote worriedatthemoment]@WorkplaceLlama can you point me to that legislation then ?
As im sure taking a baby into a nightclub is not allowed [/quote]
There is no legislation as it’s not an exemption (unlike men’s spaces, which are). The law is clear that all public spaces as long as they are outside of the exemption list.

purplecorkheart · 05/05/2021 16:40

Firstly sorry I have not read the full thread. As a fellow client it would not bother me if a breast feed baby was there unless they were crying. As a client who got sprayed with bleach by a stylist servicing someone nearby and also finds the sound of multiple hair dryers on full blast at the same time painful I understand where the Salon is coming from. Imagine a dropped hair straightener etc. I assume your salon has done a risk assessment re their policy with infants. It may also be a insurance issue.

worriedatthemoment · 05/05/2021 16:40

@Twizbe well not according to the link provided

SconeCreamJam · 05/05/2021 16:41

YANBU. I’d go to a different hairdresser

GalaxyGirl24 · 05/05/2021 16:41

I think potentially YABU BUT only because I bet a lot of hairdressers are like this and would expect you to just wait until he's old enough to be apart/is able to take a bottle. HOWEVER I think it shouldn't be the case that you have to do this and I feel a bf baby should be an exception just for the case of a quick feed.

My hairdresser let me breast feed my 2m DD at my hair cut in between the lockdowns. I would've waited though if she's said no as bf is such an on demand and time consuming thing, and no, you can't be expected to leave baby hungry!!!

GalaxyGirl24 · 05/05/2021 16:41

Sorry I meant YANBU

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 05/05/2021 16:41

OP I am surprised at what a hard time you are getting.

I would not mind in the slightest to have a breastfed baby brought in for a quick feed. Much less disruptive than toddlers in pushchairs...

Marimaur · 05/05/2021 16:41

I guess their policy is their policy and they’re being fair... BUT also it’s a 2 month old EBF baby and I would be irritated by their attitude too.

worriedatthemoment · 05/05/2021 16:41

@AppleAppleAppleApple well the link someone else has put says otherwise
And the hairdressers could sight health and safety

sotiredofthislonelylife · 05/05/2021 16:42

YABVU
You definitely should have tried your baby with a bottle before your appointment!

AppleAppleAppleApple · 05/05/2021 16:42

@worriedatthemoment I don’t know about the hairdressers chemicals, but workplaces HAVE to let you breastfeed your baby at work during work hours.

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 16:43

mumsie to be honest here and I don’t mean this rudely but what you would mind is not the point.

OP might as well have asked if she was unreasonable to go to the hairdresser holding her girlfriends hand.

Yes some people and their tiny minds might object. Yes, some hairdressers might like to have a ‘no gay clients’ policy. But they can’t, because the law states this is illegal.

Lemonelderflower · 05/05/2021 16:43

[quote worriedatthemoment]@AppleAppleAppleApple well the link someone else has put says otherwise
And the hairdressers could sight health and safety [/quote]
What link?

Goblin74 · 05/05/2021 16:44

Sorry but YABU. My DS is 9 months old and breastfed. He was ebf until 6 months. I got my hair done in May 2020, he was born July 2020 and I didn't get my hair done again until 2 weeks ago. Was it ideal? No. Did my hair look a state? Yes. But my son doesn't take a bottle and I couldn't run the risk he'd get hungry.
Now, he's been eating solids since 6 months and eats happily so I felt comfortable leaving him with husband for a few hours without me being accessible knowing he could have a little water and proper food if he needed it.

WaterCan · 05/05/2021 16:44

YANBU. I would go somewhere else.

ikeepseeingit · 05/05/2021 16:44

I don't really understand what 'peace and quiet' there is at the hairdressers tbh, there's always dryers and hoovers and other machinery on. I would think it's only kind to allow you to feed your baby if you've exhausted other options, it's not a toddler running about. I wouldn't go back there OP, they clearly didn't take into account that it's a 2-month-old baby and that you were a paying customer not really asking them to go out of their way at all.

worriedatthemoment · 05/05/2021 16:44

@AppleAppleAppleApple well thats ridiculous I would not be happy if ai had a colleague leaving every hr to breastfeed a baby , or I was in a restaurant and the chef stops cooking my food to feed a baby