To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

I think they are being very unfriendly, unsupportive and unnecessarily cunty but they aren't actually discriminating under the law, as it stands. Personally, I would cancel my appointment and go elsewhere. For what it's worth, I would love there to be a law that says places have to make reasonable allowances for breastfeeding babies to be kept with their mums. It's so stressful and exclusionary when you have to go into hospital or to a school appointment or something and your baby can't/won't take a bottle or you can't pump!

If you do decide to keep the appointment and the baby won''t take a bottle, calpol syringes are your best friend. My mum syringe fed my youngest once when I had to go to a funeral.

It wasn't ever going to take 45 minutes. Newborns feed a lot sure, but can easily have a quick feed, then a longer one later as needed. So much of your post is borderline hysterical 'but what about?'

Borderline hysterical, can you be more specific? 😂
The salon didn’t want a baby brought in. They had a child free policy. Probably didn’t have insurance (in case a child was injured) and yes that applies to babies, breastfed or not.

But i’d take ‘a quick feed’ with a pinch of salt. Sometimes they feed for 10 minutes other times an hour. OP had no way to be sure how long she’d hold up the stylist or clients after her, if allowed to have her baby brought in for a feed.

I had a breastfed only baby. Had to get extensive dental work done when child was only a few weeks old. Rather than bring the baby into the dentist work space with the sharp instruments and chemicals, we would pause and I would go out to the lobby to breastfeed. It was inconvenient for all, but it was medically necessary so we made it work.

You could easily get your hair cut and skip the color. You could also breastfeed outside the salon. A car, a nearby cafe, a bench, or even bring a camp chair.

Yabu but only because you should make sure baby can take a bottle before doing activities like these. Then that whole conversation wouldn't have happened and you'd be getting your hair done all nice and relaxed knowing baby was happy and fed. I breastfeed too and while I know there are laws to enable us to breastfeed pretty much anywhere I don't see that as an opportunity to breastfeed anywhere just because I can. Something luxurious and adult focused like this I wouldn't bring my baby to.

then there is the question, should i change my life just for a short time whilst my baby is 2 months old?

But why shouldn’t you get a haircut when you have a 2 month old baby. I don’t follow this reasoning.

They might not be insured for children in the shop with there being hot implements and chemicals.There is no way they arebreaking the law

@FilthyforFirth

My god you are being so unreasonable. Why do your needs trump everyone elses? A haircut is a luxury not a necessity and as a private business they can set whatever rules they want.

I would be so mad if my baby free time (I just stopped bfing my 6 month old) was invaded like this. You arent the only one who has been waiting months

Why would someone else's baby 'invade' or have any effect on your time?

inaglasscase an exclusively breastfed baby is wholly reliant on their mother.

Yes, some women may choose to express milk or give a bottle of formula but they shouldn’t have to.

The point is that if you say ‘you can’t bring a breastfed baby in here’ you are really saying the mother can’t come in. Therefore it discriminates against the mother.

That is also why if your baby is a admitted to hospital and is breastfed you are fed by the hospital. You are nourishing the baby and you are treated as one unit.

And that’s why prisons and mental hospitals have mother and baby units.

[quote Greenmarmalade]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion if necessary yes. Bottles tend to fill babies up for longer, but if this was needed then yes- of course.[/quote]
No, I disagree. I shouldn't be able to take my baby to a childfree place.

@a8mint

They might not be insured for children in the shop with there being hot implements and chemicals.There is no way they arebreaking the law

Christ I give up, the number of people who clearly think they are "lawyers" on this thread giving out their opinions on the law

It feels like a real baby hating zone in here today
A specifically breastfeeding baby hating zone

@TheKeatingFive

then there is the question, should i change my life just for a short time whilst my baby is 2 months old?

But why shouldn’t you get a haircut when you have a 2 month old baby. I don’t follow this reasoning.

I think it is something like ‘I didn’t, so the OP shouldn’t either.’

Personally someone having their baby being breastfed in the hairdressers would not bother me one iota, and I think they should make an exception.

However, why not get the cut, and do the colour yourself at home? That's what I do, my mum does, and my friends all do. Aint no one got time to sit for hours in a hairdresser when hair colouring is as simple as washing your hair, AND you can walk around your house, have a coffee, watch tv, while waiting for the colour to set? It means you've in the hairdresser for what, half an hour? And at home the rest (and can RELAX in your own home while colouring). I'll never 'get' why put sit in a hairdresser when you can do the colour yourself. I stopped getting spiral perms because of the HOURS I had to spend at the hairdressers. Colouring, is beyond easy to do, and more comfortable at home. And, you save 95% of the cost of something that a teenager can do themself. It means win-win as you get both done.

I know mumsnet hates this term but there’s a certain K word that describes someone who wants the rules changed just for them. And not only argues with the staff, but then the supervisor and finally the manager to get her own way. And when the manager relents and changed the whole business policy just for her, it’s still not good enough end she’s straight online complaining about them

No, I disagree. I shouldn't be able to take my baby to a childfree place.

You might disagree but that's not the law. The discrimination is against the mother, not the baby, and there are no exemptions under the grounds of "childfree spaces". Just because you think the law should be what you think doesn't make it so!

@Greenmarmalade

All of those panicking about him having a tub of hair dye spilt on him in a freak accident (has this ever happened to anyone you know?!) can relax

Just imagine having to explain why your baby has copper highlights.

Or has gone blind.

Could you not nip out and feed the baby in the car? Problem solved!

YABU. You should have either made sure your baby would take a bottle or check with the salon if it would be okay to feed while you get your hair done. That would have given you time if you wasn't happy with their response to find a different hairdresser who would allow you to feed, instead or kicking up a fuss until they say OK.

YANBU

Do I think your being unreasonable - Yes.
Would I be pissed if a baby turned up at a no-children salon - No.

Private businesses can implement rules and obviously they chose this rule for a reason, weather that be to give adults child free time or for safety. It doesn't matter which, ultimately that is their rules.

I understand the stress of BF, I've done it for 3 babies. But you did have time in advance to prepare baby with a bottle.

I don't think you can be pissed off at others for being abit annoyed that their kid free time has been interrupted. Try and understand the different perspective.

Maybe this is why God gave us mobile hairdressers....

@stackthecats

in a glass case I don't need to highlight this because there is NO exception in the law for "childfree spaces" - as the law makes clear by its absence.

I don't think that's how it works. I'm pretty sure no children, means no children.

@Marylou2

I take it this is your PFB ? If not YADBU.

I hate people who say ‘PFB’. So patronising. Such bullshit.

YABU. No child policy which you knew about and also covid restrictions will make it even more difficult for them to make exceptions. This is for yours and your baby's safety

@EarringsandLipstick

HD will time their schedule and steps to precision,

In my 40-odd years of getting my hair cut, I have never experienced this 😂

I'm often waiting at one or other stage of the process, which is fine. It's not an exact science.

And currently they are only allowed X amount of people in and therefore are timing to be able to get the max amount of people in and out since they have been shut for a significant amount of time. Every appt I have been to for various things in the last few weeks has been to a strict time scale. In fact, every time I’ve had my hair cut in multiple locations I have had the dye on my hair timed and once checked I’ve moved on to the next step. I really don’t see how you haven’t.