DD is 6, year 2, I’d be looking to move her ready for year 3 so September.
But I think I might be UR. This is a mainstream state primary.
In terms of academically, I’m happy. She’s behind in all areas but school have put things in place and she’s making slow and steady progress, she’s suspected to have dyslexia and/or dyspraxia. She has joint hypermobility syndrome and this is particularly bad in her feet and hips, but is also in her wrists, jaw, eyes and fingers. She also has some mild hearing loss on one side – she was treated with grommets which solved most of her hearing problems but not all. The JHS and hearing issues causes her speech to be slightly delayed, so she sounds like a 3 or 4 year old rather than a nearly 7 year old which may also be adding to her issues.
She is generally happy at school, but there seems to be more and more issues socially. I don’t know whether it’s just a covid thing or to do with the hearing loss that she’s missing the intent from her friends but I will list the issues here.
Will add here, DD knows her own mind and can be very stubborn, the issues are not entirely all the schools/classes fault, I know DD is no angel.
- She struggles to lift most bottles and cups as once they have water in them they’re too heavy, so she either drops them and they smash or she can’t lift them. She also has a habit of chewing the tops if the sports lid is too soft. So I bought her the cup pictured (school insist that bottles are clear so you can see the liquid inside, it can’t have a straw and the child must be able to fill it themselves which rules out most bottles for DD). She’s now refusing to take the bottle to school because some of her classmates say it’s a babies bottle. I let this one slide and just gave her a big drink before school and when she gets home, but it is annoying especially on days when she’s at ASC.
- She refuses to eat her school dinner. A lot of the other children are on packed lunches. She has packed lunches 2 days a week when I’m not at work, the other days she’s at ASC so has the hot lunch at school but she refuses to eat it. Teacher has discussed this with me and they are working on it with the class as a whole but individually they’re a bit stumped.
- On the above she will often not eat her packed lunch anyway as I try and make it healthy a typical lunch will be a slice of ham, some cubed cheese (she doesn’t like bread), cucumber sticks, sliced strawberries or sliced apple and a chocolate bar. She’ll often eat just the chocolate bar. According to her her friends lunches are just chocolate and sweets (I don’t actually believe this, I think she’s chatting away which she doesn’t get the chance to do when on hot dinners as she sits in a different place to them) teacher tries to encourage her to eat her lunch but she often refuses
- She won’t eat fruit unless it’s cut up, so for morning playtime I send in a box with her fruit cut up, but now she refuses to eat it because her classmates say only babies eat cut up fruit. Again teacher is working on this with the class.
- She will often say a particular child won’t play with her because her (the other child) mum says she’s not allowed to play with DD. I’m fine with this and tell DD to find someone else to play with but it seems to bother her a lot and she gets upset. It also seems the other children she wants to play with play with this girl but DD isn’t included. This has been mentioned by the teacher but I’ve told the teacher not to force the issue as I don’t know exactly why this girl can’t play with DD (it could be that DD has said something mean or upset her and that’s why, which I understand like I said DD is not an angel or perfect)
She’s in the same class as she started in in Reception (2 form entry) as they usually mix the classes at the end of year 1 then again end of year 2 or 3, then again end of 4 but due to covid they’ve kept them the same, they don’t know if they’ll be mixing the classes or keeping them the same for year 3 which also adds to my worry over it as if she’s got another year with these people. Until March of year 1 she spent some time with the other class as they have the same PE and Music lessons plus spent playtimes and lunchtimes together so she had a few friends in that class, now however they don’t spend anytime with them apart from having the same playtimes, but they’re kept apart and play on different playgrounds so no chance to mix, she doesn’t remember the names of anyone in the other class anymore, so I don’t know whether a move to the other class if they don’t mix them might be a good move? Although that causes issues for the class she’s in as it takes numbers under 20 in her class (25 currently in other class).
Teacher says DD is fine in class, behind but there’s no issues with her behaviour bar the usual talking when the teacher is. She’s a late july born. We don’t think it’s bullying and it could be DD taking the comments wrong but I am stuck on how to help her.
I also know we could get the same problems in a new school/class. There are spaces at the 2 other nearest schools to us, but they are a further walk away which is something to consider given DDs diagnosises.
So AIBU and WWYD? Is there anything more school could be doing?
For added context I’m a single parent. Left ExH when DD was a toddler due to his violence and control, he sees DD EOW for 1 night for court ordered contact. He doesn’t mind where she goes to school as long as he knows where she is. DD is an only child, has no cousins and is unlikely to have them.