Inviting guests to DH birthday and asking them to pay
KQuest · 03/05/2021 22:33
My DH is coming up to a special birthday. He has asked me to plan something as a surprise. I have some ideas for activities, but the cost is roughly £35 per person. Is it OK to invite people and tell them they have to pay for themselves or should I pay for everyone?
I want to invite 10 people.
44PumpLane · 03/05/2021 22:38
In our group of friends if we were going ro an event or for a meal out we would alwasy pay for ourselves, I'm 38 and our group of friends has been established for over 2 decades.
Other groups of friends do similar.
It's o ly if we were going to someone's home we would check whether it's host providing, bring a dish or host buys and splits the cost.
Do you have no frame of reference within your friendship group?
Chillychili · 03/05/2021 22:41
I think it depends, if it’s a party and you want them to cover food and drink that’s a bit off. However if I received a text from a friend ‘it’s dh’s birthday I thought we could all go paintballing, it will be £35 each’ I wouldn’t think twice about paying.
SnackSizeRaisin · 03/05/2021 22:41
Depends what it is. If invited out for a friend's birthday I would generally expect to pay for myself, e.g. a restaurant meal or a cinema trip or paintballing etc.
You need to be upfront about it though, tell people the cost at the same time you invite them, don't wait until after they've said they are coming to spring the cost onto them. I also would just keep things simple and cheap, people won't want to spend huge amounts of time or money on someone else's birthday (unless it's a group who already have a shared hobby and like to spend time doing it together).
thetwinkletoescollective · 03/05/2021 22:41
I did this for my 40 birthday party.
I think if you say it right from the start, then you give people the option to come or not - they are adults - they can make the choice without you feeling guilty (as in some people on here saying its rude).
Anyway I invited 60 people and thought maybe half would take me up on the offer and in fact, everyone did.
I had five people over for my birthday last year - I paid for them but I minised the costs by having pizza and hosting it in my back garden and that cost me about £300 all in.
SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2021 22:46
Not on MN. You shouldn't ever invite anyone to do anything for your birthday unless you're covering the whole cost of everyone on MN.
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