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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want friend to steal my baby name? Long irrational rant.

98 replies

BibiThree · 14/11/2007 15:25

Okay so I know I probably am being unreasonable, and it's not technically stealing, I'm just really, really irrationally annoyed by her at the moment.

She's always been v v competitave, especially when it comes to the children, what mine have, hers have to have as well, and ususally better, what mine do her kids have to do as well, first and better etc etc.

Anyway, before dh and I even decided to have children, we had a boys name, just one and in the last 10 years it's been the ONLY boys name we have ever agreed on. When I conceived dd1 I told a few people the girl and boy names we had, including friend. The boys name isn't common and I can't imagine it's ever been common around these parts. Anyway, she was pg at the same time and shortly after our name conversation started telling people if her baby was a boy she'd call it the name I loved. When I teasingly said she'd stollen it off me and that's what i was going to call my baby if it was a boy, she insisted she'd always liked the name and was always going to use it. We both had girls.

We were recetly both pg again, I had all girls, she's due shortly and we suspect she's having a boy and is going to call it my name. So much so, she calls him that already. We won't be having any more children, dh has had the snip, so I won't ever need to use it, so why I am so bl**dy annoyed about this?

I really feel like she's stollen my boy's name. Someone kick me up the bottom please.

Ta

OP posts:
claricebeansmum · 14/11/2007 15:27

No.
I would mightily pissed off to.

CantSleepWontSleep · 14/11/2007 15:28

Kick coming your way now.

[bash]

Did it hurt?

You know YABU, esp as you are never going to have a son anyway.

Think of it as a compliment to your excellent choice in names.

Now, please tell us what the name is?

tiredemma · 14/11/2007 15:29

yes- what is the name?

chocchipcookie · 14/11/2007 15:29

It's not really about the name is it because that has no impact on you. It's about the competitiveness. Can you tell us what it is about her that makes her a friend because it doesn't sound much like a friendship...

brimfull · 14/11/2007 15:30

tell her you've gone off the name now
tell her you like wilfred instead

what is the name?

HairyIrene · 14/11/2007 15:30

its not very nice
bare faced really..

note books IN, plaguerists..
i hate em

safest thing though is not to say...

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 15:30

you don;t need a kick, as you know you are being really irrational, unles it is a made up name, that you and DH have made together, that no-one else in the world is called, you cannot say someone has stolen it.....

you should be flattered !

if you are not having any more DCs, and even if you were, no guarantee you would have a boy, yo don;t have the monopoly on names !

fuzzywuzzy · 14/11/2007 15:31

she may have a girl you know.

Do you want to remain friends with this woman if she is so immensely irritating???

MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:31

I had planned on a girls name for ds1 before i knew and my sister ended up using it for her dd3 born 4 weeks after my ds1.

This preg i discussed names with a pregnant friend and my girls name choice was the one she used for her dd. I cried when i found out, completely irrational and overly hormonal. Turns out i am have another boy but to be honest have had to accept that there will always be other childrne with the name choices i like.

So tbh although your friend may be competitive, it is also a compliment that she liked the name you chose so much that she has called her son it. Sorry but yabu, just like i was.

FluffyMummy123 · 14/11/2007 15:33

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:35

icod - have you been eating too many sugary sweets? lol, you sound hyper.

expatinscotland · 14/11/2007 15:35

bin her.

i find competitiveness so nouveau and gauche.

cece · 14/11/2007 15:36

Could you not tell everyone that you both know that you thought of it for her?

HairyIrene · 14/11/2007 15:37

two friends of mine kids have same name, born a week apart..
always wondered who nicked who's name

Tortington · 14/11/2007 15:39

you need to get a dog - and call it that special name - then you will have a dog the same name as her child - that will piss her right off - or a cat - or a hamster

Columbia · 14/11/2007 15:41

I'd be upset as well. It's possible that she did already like it and felt that you were stealing her idea, but didn't say anything during the conversation...hard to tell.

Once me and my friend both saw something we liked on ebay - I saw she had already bid, and was annoyed because she tends to bid on everything in that category when it first appears - just her style but I felt it had left me with no choice. So I emailed her saying had she seen it, wasn't it nice etc. and that I had emailed the seller for some more pictures.
I wanted to suss her reaction. She replied saying 'yes, I really want it,' in no uncertain terms and I then didn't bid on it because it seemed unfriendly to outbid her - it went for a ridiculously low amount in the end, to another friend, who later swapped it for something else with me. So I got it but it feels wrong because my friend didn't, and she stopped bidding on it probably for the same reason I did - we both felt a mixture of angry and guilty.
We never spoke about it again. But what I'm saying is maybe it should be used, by one of you at least - if she is a good friend, especially. Try to share in the pleasure of it if you can. And maybe have a heart to heart about it because chances are she did like it too and doesn't realise you feel upset, but I think she would understand.

Another friend of mine used 'my' girl's name as her daughter's middle name, which didn't bother me tbh as it was a middle name and I have two boys! And I would rather she used it than neither of us, it's too pretty to be wasted!!

cece · 14/11/2007 15:41

oh custardo that is a good idea

QuintessentialShadow · 14/11/2007 15:42

Two friends of mine, named their kids the same name, one born 3 years after the other. Doesnt change a thing. They both liked and agree on the same name. Maybe your special name is the only name she and her husband can agree on? She may genuinely like the name, and you are not going to use its, you would be unreasonable to refuse other to use it...

CountessDracula · 14/11/2007 15:42

Great idea
I love that

Get something vile like a stick insect and call it that

DD wants a cat and announced this am that it will be called Freddie if a boy (as that was what she would have been) and Rita if a girl

QuintessentialShadow · 14/11/2007 15:43

Lol Custardo!

( and another reason to be in awe of custy )

MamaMaiasaura · 14/11/2007 15:43

PMSL @ custardos suggestion. Evil but funny

expatinscotland · 14/11/2007 15:44

the wonderful thing about the Scottish forenames we chose is that poncey people would never want to steal them .

MerryAnnSinglemas · 14/11/2007 15:44

what's the name then ?

Columbia · 14/11/2007 15:45

By the way I remember now she is ultra competitive about everything, in which case YANBU, bin her!!!

lemonaid · 14/11/2007 15:50

Ah, but gently Scottish is v "in", in a slightly poncey sort of way, for forenames in England just now, expat.

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