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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want friend to steal my baby name? Long irrational rant.

98 replies

BibiThree · 14/11/2007 15:25

Okay so I know I probably am being unreasonable, and it's not technically stealing, I'm just really, really irrationally annoyed by her at the moment.

She's always been v v competitave, especially when it comes to the children, what mine have, hers have to have as well, and ususally better, what mine do her kids have to do as well, first and better etc etc.

Anyway, before dh and I even decided to have children, we had a boys name, just one and in the last 10 years it's been the ONLY boys name we have ever agreed on. When I conceived dd1 I told a few people the girl and boy names we had, including friend. The boys name isn't common and I can't imagine it's ever been common around these parts. Anyway, she was pg at the same time and shortly after our name conversation started telling people if her baby was a boy she'd call it the name I loved. When I teasingly said she'd stollen it off me and that's what i was going to call my baby if it was a boy, she insisted she'd always liked the name and was always going to use it. We both had girls.

We were recetly both pg again, I had all girls, she's due shortly and we suspect she's having a boy and is going to call it my name. So much so, she calls him that already. We won't be having any more children, dh has had the snip, so I won't ever need to use it, so why I am so bl**dy annoyed about this?

I really feel like she's stollen my boy's name. Someone kick me up the bottom please.

Ta

OP posts:
NoNameToday · 14/11/2007 17:27

If you are never going to use the name for your own child,just accept that your friend has good taste.

Does she know your DH has had the snip? if so then she may not feel she has done anything to offend you.

mummylittle · 14/11/2007 19:33

What is the name??

I would be annoyed too but thats just women for you! My DH would say im being pathetic and childish!! xxx

Tinker · 14/11/2007 19:36

Make it a horrible pet surely? A snake would be appropriate

myjobismum · 14/11/2007 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mommalove · 14/11/2007 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Troutpout · 14/11/2007 20:15

oh god ..go with custy's idea ..it's fantastic
get a big slobbery mad dog and call it the name
After all...noone owns it

tiredemma · 14/11/2007 20:20

One of my friends got pissed off when I told her my chosen name for ds2 when I was pregnant, she said it was her fave name for her son one day ( she wasnt pregnant). I had a boy, had the chosen name- she brought a cat and gave it the same name.

She is lovely though, just a bit mad.

BibiThree · 14/11/2007 20:25

Thank you guys, I feed a little bit justified in my irrationality knowing others would feel the same

I know it wasn't her name as before we had the conversation, any boy of hers was going to be called Max. It was the name she had for her first pg (who turned out a girl) and the first half of her 2nd pg (also a girl) - until we talked about names, then all of a sudden she had been in love with my name for years and years...

Am sorely tempted to get said slobbery, mad dog and use the name for it, but would ahve to get ym skates on as she's due SOON! Am trying to be gracious about it, no I do not own the name, it's just the complete childishmess of it all.

And she's not a friend by choice, she's related by marriage, around my age, kids the same age etc, so we kind of socialise that way. No binning of family allowed sadly

OP posts:
mrsbabookaloo · 14/11/2007 20:32

Just to add a comedy note to this. Before I or one of my friends, let's call her R, ever had children, I said I would like to call a dd Ruby, thinking I was ever so quirky and original, my friend R jumped in and said "oh no, I'm having a Ruby!" and we had a little joke about who would get to call their baby Ruby.

A while later another friend, let's call her B, had a baby and to my surprise called her Ruby. No sooner had she announced this then I composed an outraged text to friend R: "you'll never guess what B's called her baby: Ruby! That's our name! WE bagsed it!!"

I then mistakenly sent this text to friend B who had had the Ruby baby, instead of friend R. Oops.....

pipsi100 · 14/11/2007 20:48

Have I missed it ? What is the name?.......

Boy's names are tough I think. My DP and I agreed on Wilfred before we ever had a baby as it was his favorite grandfathers name but his brother had a baby boy first who they were going to call Elliot, until we mentioned the deceased grandfather and lo Wilf it was!

We now have 2 sons - but anyone is free to use our girl's name of Percy.....

BibiThree · 14/11/2007 20:59

The name's not that unusual in itself, just I'd never heard of one in rl - it's Frankie. DH and I have our own personal reasons for loving this name, and the fact that we've loved it for 10 years and never come across another boy called that.
You know how it is, you love a name and within two weeks you have met hundreds of people who called their child that. That's never happened with this name.

Another, more personal reason I'm annoyed about this is that I miscarried a baby 2 years ago (who was old enough for us to tell he was a boy), which she obviously knew about, and he would have been our Frankie had he been a few weeks older to be registered.

Still, I know I'm being silly. I will of course be overjoyed when her baby arrives and will love him as much as I do her other children, I'll just always secretly be narked in a tiny corner of my mind

OP posts:
pipsi100 · 14/11/2007 21:11

I can totally understand why you are feeling annoyed, it must bring up alot of mixed feelings for you.
We all want our children to be unique and have so much emotional investment in them. I was miffed for several years when my best friend managed to give birth on exactley the same day ad my ds1 1st b.day! Stupid really should have been happy when she called to say..... but!

pipsi100 · 14/11/2007 21:11

I can totally understand why you are feeling annoyed, it must bring up alot of mixed feelings for you.
We all want our children to be unique and have so much emotional investment in them. I was miffed for several years when my best friend managed to give birth on exactley the same day ad my ds1 1st b.day! Stupid really should have been happy when she called to say..... but!

loobylooby · 14/11/2007 21:11

Bibi - I think your last post really answers the question in a nutshell - YANBU and she is being grossly insensitive.

LazyLinePainterJane · 14/11/2007 21:15

You should have called one of your daughters Frankie.

Get a dog

moljam · 14/11/2007 21:19

loving dog idea.and i agree after reading last post yanbu.

beeper · 14/11/2007 21:28

KICK

controlfreaky2 · 14/11/2007 21:39

dog. tomorrow. frankie. or even a gerbil..... do it, you will feel much better and she will feel a twat.

YANBU!

my best friends sister gave ds2's name to a character in her novel.... then a f*ing film star called her ds it (7 years after me). i was (is v unusual name)... which is obviously TOTALLY unreasonable.... but i was.

bookofthedeadmum · 14/11/2007 21:44

Take it as a compliment for your taste in names and reassure yourself that she has no imagination to think of her own names .

I was quite miffed to find that no fewer than 4 women (out of 12) in my ante-natal group were considering the name I'd chosen for a girl. In the end, only 2 of us plumped for it. Mind I now live 80 miles away from them now so no real offence was caused.

doublethelovedoublethekisses · 14/11/2007 21:48

I agree YANBU, A very good friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as her SIL, both were having boys. Friends SIL had chosen a name as had my friend... Lo and behold the SIL gave birth first and named her baby the name my friend had decided on, completely forgetting the name she had originally chosen... Friend was not happy!

doublethelovedoublethekisses · 14/11/2007 21:49

Sorry, that made much more sense in my head but you get the idea... (I hope!)

fireflyfairy2 · 14/11/2007 21:54

My friend has a son called Barney.

Her mum rang her one day all excited telling her she had got new cat.

"When she went to visit, her mum called the cat in from the yard... "BARNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

friend was so pissed off! Her son was only a few weeks old!

fireflyfairy2 · 14/11/2007 21:56

My ds has a lovely name & as we live in a very small village there are no other boys that have his name Any time I call him in the shop or somewhere we get lovely comments about it "There won't be many of that name in school" "You'll not get your coat mixed up with anyone elses" etc..

It's not even an unusual name, just not common here

Columbia · 15/11/2007 09:39

Casually mention that you are glad you never had the chance to use it because you now realise it would be naming your child after a PUSHCHAIR!!!

Columbia · 15/11/2007 09:40

by the way I didn't mean that to sound like I don't like the name, becase I think it's lovely

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