To think that a Rape Crisis centre should not have a transwoman CEO?

[ArabellaScott]

Mridhul Wadhwa has just been appointed CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis. The job was advertised as for women only. Mridhul is a transwoman (born male) without a Gender Recognition Certificate.

AIBU to think that women survivors of rape and sexual violence should be able to have a female only space?

theedinburghreporter.co.uk/2021/05/new-boss-for-edinburgh-rape-crisis-centre/

Yes. 100%. Do you think people who have been mugged by an Indian person should be able to have a white-only space? Do you think children who were the victim of paedophilia should be able to have a child only space? Do you think NHS victims of assault whilst on the job should have an NHS only space?

Its so interesting how quickly race is used.
Women's services were built by women for women because male patterns of violence and sexual abuse were recognised. Now we also recognise the dynamics of coercive control.

“I am unable to comprehend trauma-informed care, and (hear me out) survivors of sexual violence who need it are bigots.”

Yes, you said it better, thank you.

No.

I have a right to female only spaces as described by law and IF you want to change that you need to try and change the law. Looking at the pole I think the vast majority of people think that it’s right that victims using the RCC are best served by a female only space.

@Fernlake

ERCC’s view is that MW was the best person for the job. Your view is that she wasn’t. People are allowed to disagree.

Of course. But I am basing it on what MW has said and done. And you're basing it on...?

And, actually, the position was not the MW was the best person for the job. It was someone else of the opposite sex to MW was the best person for the job.

They ignored their own preference.

.... when social justice becomes nothing more than shining ideology in the context of utter naiivety to the most basic realities of working with traumatised women and children, it's not really working any more.

@fishareboring

.... when social justice becomes nothing more than shining ideology in the context of utter naiivety to the most basic realities of working with traumatised women and children, it's not really working any more.

Personally, I don't think even think it's ideology. It's self interest.

Sonny. Interesting you talk about whites-only spaces. I think a better analogy is not white-only spaces, but black-only spaces, for victims of racism. That's a more similar power dynamic.

So would you tell the volunteers and the service users of Sistah Space, they they had to employ white people?

Sistah Space is a specialist domestic violence charity.

Quote.

We work with African heritage women & girls who've experienced domestic or sexual abuse or who have lost a loved one to domestic violence.

&Our survivors are from many different sections of the African & Caribbean community, including the Rastafarian/ Grassroots community - who are often on the fringes of society. Rastafarian women are among those who have the highest rate of underreporting. Our specialisedservice seeks to assist those who are apprehensive about going to mainstream services without support, such as the police and other statutory services.&

[...]
Our mission is to encourage African heritage survivors/victims to report abuse by providinga safe cultural venue for victims to disclose abuse in a confidential environment, and to encourage community integration.

www.sistahspace.org/about-us

You can donate to Sistah Space through their website by the way.

Surely anyone who didn’t apply when legally they were exempt is a better person. Whoever interviewed and then offered the job should also be told to leave. If you can’t trust someone with this what else will they decide they will do ‘because they feel like it’? It shows lack of morals.

@toffeebutterpopcorn

Surely anyone who didn’t apply when legally they were exempt is a better person. Whoever interviewed and then offered the job should also be told to leave. If you can’t trust someone with this what else will they decide they will do ‘because they feel like it’? It shows lack of morals.

It does.

@ArabellaScott

“I am unable to comprehend trauma-informed care, and (hear me out) survivors of sexual violence who need it are bigots.”

Yes, you said it better, thank you.

I had therapy in my 20s to process some distressing issues I was having. I had consultations with a few counsellors before deciding on one. My dad is gay and we found out only a couple of years before, it was a hugely traumatic experience for our family. One of the counsellors I consulted with volunteered that he was a gay man and this could complicate our therapeutic relationship. That was his professional opinion. Presumably he was a bigot too.

According to some posters here, not you specifically, @ArabellaScott

I read this thread earlier today and all afternoon I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about the fact that Mridhul Wadhwa has publicly made it clear that they think men are entitled to conduct intimate medical examinations on rape victims.

This person, with those thoughts, is the CEO of a Rape Crisis centre.

This person also felt entitled to apply for a job that technically they were not eligible for.

Those are, quite apart from anything else, red flags concerning respect of boundaries.

The person with problematic attitudes to boundaries is the CEO of a Rape Crisis centre.

Why?

@toffeebutterpopcorn

I wonder if we met the same assistant in H&M... they weren’t very impressed when I lent over the counter (ladies wear tills) and said ‘oh look we’ve got the same trousers on!’ (which we did).

You’d thought I’d said ‘you’ve got poo on your shoes’, the sour look they gave me.

Maybe they were thinking they were looking glam and trendy - and a fat 50 year old scruffy Scot burst that bubble!

Oh my God.

I'm sure you look fabulous, and from this I know that you ARE fabulous (it's the default for Scottish people in my experience), but that was punchline of the week...

Sonny. Interesting you talk about whites-only spaces. I think a better analogy is not white-only spaces, but black-only spaces, for victims of racism. That's a more similar power dynamic.

So would you tell the volunteers and the service users of Sistah Space, they they had to employ white people?

Sistah Space is a specialist domestic violence charity.

Exactly.

has publicly made it clear that they think men are entitled to conduct intimate medical examinations on rape victims

This specifically means the victims who have specifically requested a female examiner, and therefore is specifically not happy or able to accept a male one.

That bit is important. Since surely any ethical medical professional will always put the needs and comfort of their patient and the need of their patient to receive care over their own wants and needs. This is a leader of rape crisis who is expressing a belief that female victims should put the feelings and politics of a male medical examiner above their own feelings and needs at this horrendously traumatic moment. Presumably in their philosophy, women who can't do this just don't get care.

Nuff said really.

@toffeebutterpopcorn

Those saying what a great choice - they are legally male, the job was specifically for women (for a reason). How do you square that?

So if a trans man (biological female who looks like a male) got the job, would that be ok to you then?

Do you think victims would be more comfortable that way? Interesting...

Do you think people who have been mugged by an Indian person should be able to have a white-only space?

I probably would if one's Indianness were the very mechanism by which it was possible to rape and if all rapists, without exception, were Indian because Indianness is inherent to it and it isn't physically possible to be a rapist without any Indianness with which to carry out the rape.

Is this the human quality you call "false equivalence"?

Sorry, s/rape/mug in my previous post. Point still stands.

@Erikrie

I think only biological women should work in rape crises centres / refuges for women. The law supports that position.

So trans men, who look like men but are biologically women are allowed to work in rape crises centres? Do you think victims would be comfortable with that because they could just guess the transgender man's chromosomes?

In a female single sex service then regardless how a woman looks then she is entitled to apply for a job if she is interested in it.
In a female single sex service then regardless how a man looks he is not entitled to apply.

UK Equality Act 2010 defines women as females of any age and men as males of any age.

Transmen really don’t seem to feel the need to behave like this though do they? I wonder why?

@5zeds

Transmen really don’t seem to feel the need to behave like this though do they? I wonder why?

This was going to be my point. Oddly, trans men, who have been socialised as girls, tend to understand and empathise with women's feelings better than to traumatise them in a situation like this one.

They seem not to seek the part of validation that involves making women and girls feel uncomfortable.

Happy to be disproved if anyone knows where and when this has happened.

Do you understand why the majority of women who have been raped (as we have said, only a male could have raped them) will want a space to heal where they are not going to encounter a male body? In fact, a male voice can be traumatising, so it's not just spaces. Female victims of rape want to speak to women to help process their trauma.

And you are here telling them they're akin to racists.

Repulsive. If I said what I really thought to this post, I'd be instantly banned from this site.

NB. The post - that is, to whom OP was replying, not the reply itself.

So trans men, who look like men but are biologically women are allowed to work in rape crises centres?

There is a very good article from a TM explaining why they themselves decided in a caring profession to provide their patients/clients with alternative single sex staff members, because they were aware the mixed signals in some situations with vulnerable people was not helpful and they professionally were concerned about the best interests of those people. An example of a good professional whose interests is in the needs of the people they are caring for.

Can't we just accept that in some situations female people need female only staff and not play complicated political games with their needs and perceptions? Are female people so totally worthless that there's no possible compassion for them and their needs even in thought experiments?