Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a Rape Crisis centre should not have a transwoman CEO?

999 replies

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 16:18

Mridhul Wadhwa has just been appointed CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis. The job was advertised as for women only. Mridhul is a transwoman (born male) without a Gender Recognition Certificate.

AIBU to think that women survivors of rape and sexual violence should be able to have a female only space?

theedinburghreporter.co.uk/2021/05/new-boss-for-edinburgh-rape-crisis-centre/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
WorkWorkAngelica · 04/05/2021 16:25

I've not been able to stop thinking about this today and how angry it has made me.

If we can't even rely upon the Equalities Act to protect our legally protected characteristics, we are absolutely fucked aren't we? Will our daughters even have any legal protection?

Plus it begs the question, if the ERCC can merrily disregard the law in relation to this, what else are they overlooking? Confused

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2021 16:25

@TalkingtoLangClegintheDark

I do see survivors – four a week usually – who help me stay connected to the cause

It’s all about what they (these extremely vulnerable women) are doing for Wadhwa, isn’t it; nothing about what Wadhwa should be doing for them.

It’s tragic how blind some people are to such overt manifestations of narcissism.

It is isn't it?

It doesn't matter of you firmly believe TWAW. In this case it is entirely inconsequential.

Yet the rebuttal to anyone questioning it is to bring out the "Oh you transphobe. MN is so transphobic"

The unthinking response because, well, who knows? Because what?

Is it really so important to protect the delusion that some human beings can change sex?

Trumplosttheelection · 04/05/2021 16:54

So let me get this straight - this person was born Male and now self ids as a woman. They have done so for some time, working in a sector which deals with incredibly vulnerable people, mostly women. In order to get at least one of their previous roles they didn't give information about being born Male. So they deceived their employer In to permitting them to be in a position of influence over hugely vulnerable people, mostly women. And now their elevation to the CEO role is something to be celebrated as some sort of victory for women?

Yeah right.

sanluca · 04/05/2021 16:56

Nearly crying that women are not allowed to have anything that is purely for our sex. Services limited to age, race, disability, gender reassignment (trans orgs that exclusively work for the benefit of transgender people), disability, all fine and accepted.
Same sex attracted or single sex, open for everyone regardless if you meet the criteria.
Why are so many people hellbent on destroying services others have painstakingly built? Why do so many people get mad at being excluded from places you have no reason to be? And why is that is male humans that exhibit this behaviour? Regardless of their age, race and gender reassignment status?

toffeebutterpopcorn · 04/05/2021 16:56

They could legally change their status but has chosen not to. It’s what, £5 these days?

LilacTwine · 04/05/2021 17:06

@Allwokedup

She is a woman.
In what way?

I know you can't answer that, and in the hundreds of times this question gets asked, an answer is never given – you'll just disappear because it's all so mean and transphobic – but maybe have a think.

Allwokedup · 04/05/2021 17:08

@LilacTwine as she feels she is a woman on the inside. Who am I to say she’s not?

fishareboring · 04/05/2021 17:13

I feel I am a member of the Royal Family on the inside. Who is anyone to say I am not?

It will be fine for me to feel my feelings so long as I don't try to enforce them as being objective reality to be accepted by everyone. Then I'm likely to run up against other people's views, rights, realities and legal boundaries.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 04/05/2021 17:13

[quote Allwokedup]@LilacTwine as she feels she is a woman on the inside. Who am I to say she’s not?[/quote]
That's a laughable response to Lilac.

You certainly are 'all woke'.

AfternoonToffee · 04/05/2021 17:13

@toffeebutterpopcorn

They could legally change their status but has chosen not to. It’s what, £5 these days?
I don't think it is that straightforward in the case of MW, possibly because it would need to be done in India.
toffeebutterpopcorn · 04/05/2021 17:16

Living and working here. If that’s the goal then become a U.K. National and pay the fiver. Better than giving the middle digit to everyone.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 04/05/2021 17:20

[quote Allwokedup]@LilacTwine as she feels she is a woman on the inside. Who am I to say she’s not?[/quote]
However, in a rape crisis centre, the most important thing is how a staff member makes service users (mostly women subjected to sexual violence) feel on the inside, surely?

Rinoachicken · 04/05/2021 17:20

They also still use their birth name, which in India is a very much a boys name.

Helleofabore · 04/05/2021 17:21

Allwokedup

What do you say to other females who will end up being retraumatised when bills are passed such as the one before the 'six words' change because they lose the right to request the assistance of a female.

Because, that is what MW supported in the party. In fact, left the party because it didn't go through if I remember correctly.

So, as a policy leader for this centre and now for that sector, can you tell us what this new CEO has actually done to support traumatised females?

LilacTwine · 04/05/2021 17:22

[quote Allwokedup]@LilacTwine as she feels she is a woman on the inside. Who am I to say she’s not?[/quote]
I feel like I would have made a really good brain surgeon. Didn't work out for me that way, though, and doesn't make it true, however much I wish it so.

I also lack the kind of entitlement that would give me the confidence to waltz into a operating theatre, even as the patient's eyes widened in alarm. But then, I wouldn't be allowed in because I don't match the rightfully strict job description nor do I have the necessary skills to take care of that person.

But hey. Maybe everyone should be a bit kinder and humour me?

toffeebutterpopcorn · 04/05/2021 17:23

‘Feels like’ how do they know and I feel like a 20 year old woman (which I do remember vaguely).

Neither are actual facts.

Leafstamp · 04/05/2021 17:29

I don't think it is that straightforward in the case of MW, possibly because it would need to be done in India.

Apparently she (a) doesn't meet the criteria in India and (b) it wouldn't be accepted in Scotland anyway, see here:

twitter.com/hightreebud/status/1323965389144002562?s=20

HannaHat · 04/05/2021 17:30

“Feels like a woman on the inside”

🙄

AfternoonToffee · 04/05/2021 17:33

Thanks Leaf I knew I had read it somewhere today. Smile

lifeturnsonadime · 04/05/2021 17:38

Ahh so what's important about womanhood is feeling like one.

Tell how does one know if they 'feel' like a woman if it is simply a feeling?

And, any man who says he feels like a woman must be believed, because who am I to judge?

Do you not see the problem with this? Do you not see potential red flags?

Do you not see that this is being used to demolish sex based rights here and in the rest of the developed world?

Do you not see that this does everything to centre men & their feelings and nothing for women?

5zeds · 04/05/2021 17:40

This RCC is not single sex anymore. Are there any truly single sex facilities for rape victims in Edinburgh?

Fernlake · 04/05/2021 17:41

Feeling like a woman?

Zillions of women have asked for that feeling to be described.

It never has been. Not once. Not even close.

Because being a woman isn't a feeling.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 04/05/2021 17:52

It doesn't matter. This is a tangent. This is not about what a job applicant feels like inside. This is about what clients will see. You know, the people rape crisis services were set up to serve.

Charities and NGOs do not exist to give people jobs. They exist to meet charitable aims, and the primary aim here is to support women subjected to rape. MW may feel like a woman. That's irrelevant. Will women subjected to rape see a woman? Remember the service is for all of them, not just the ones you think are appropriately 21st century in their thinking.

EXTRACT from Karen Ingala Smith, professional in the violence against women sector

Quote

We know that at least 80% of males who hold a gender recognition certificate retain their penis, but anyway, in almost every case, we don’t need to know what’s in their pants to know they are a man. Women experiencing trauma after violence and abuse will, like most of us – almost always instantly read someone who might be the most kind and gentle trans identified male in the world – as male; and they may experience a debilitating trauma response as a result. It’s not their fault, it’s not a choice and it’s not something they can be educated out of. It’s not hate. It’s not bigotry. It’s not transphobia. It is an impact of abuse and they need space, support and sometimes therapy – not increased confrontation with a trauma inducing trigger; not nowhere to go that offers a woman-only space.

kareningalasmith.com/2020/07/08/trauma-informed-services-for-women-subjected-to-mens-violence-must-be-single-sex-services/amp/

paralysedbyinertia · 04/05/2021 17:54

@Fernlake

Feeling like a woman?

Zillions of women have asked for that feeling to be described.

It never has been. Not once. Not even close.

Because being a woman isn't a feeling.

I have repeatedly asked on these boards if someone could articulate what this actually means. I agree that there is never any answer forthcoming.
Anovaneway · 04/05/2021 17:58

Do you even see what you have written? That for women who pick up that this person is male in a place where they are expecting and needing a female, it is on them if they are retraumatized because you’ve decreed that they look enough like a woman to not retraumatize women.

No that’s not what I said. Just because women know she’s a trans woman doesn’t mean they would viscerally react to her like they would to a male.

FWR regulars may have a different view but I wonder how much of that is driven by ideology?