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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a Rape Crisis centre should not have a transwoman CEO?

999 replies

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 16:18

Mridhul Wadhwa has just been appointed CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis. The job was advertised as for women only. Mridhul is a transwoman (born male) without a Gender Recognition Certificate.

AIBU to think that women survivors of rape and sexual violence should be able to have a female only space?

theedinburghreporter.co.uk/2021/05/new-boss-for-edinburgh-rape-crisis-centre/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
kowari · 03/05/2021 20:55

We're discussing those seeking counselling with a female, who then decide they want another female because the first one isn't female enough to them.
I thought we were discussing counselling where a female wants a female counsellor rather than a male counsellor who identifies as, or wants to be seen as a woman, but is biologically male? I would have no issues at all with a female counsellor who didn't present as particularly feminine, I'm not either Grin.

5zeds · 03/05/2021 20:55

You appear to be working from a very different dictionary to most, and to have your own take on biology/law. So it’s probably best just to explain.

Waitwhat23 · 03/05/2021 20:56

Apparently a woman who is a 'tradwife' is someone who tends to believe in the phrase 'a woman's place is in the home' and the movement 'rejects the precepts of feminism'. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradwife

We're apparently not feminists....

BetterKateThanNever · 03/05/2021 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 03/05/2021 20:57

So there's this great thing called Google. You can ask it what a tradwife is, what a woman is, etc. It might benefit you.

Google says a woman is "an adult human female"

And that a female is "of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes."

So which part of a trans woman is female?

Leafstamp · 03/05/2021 20:57

I would guess a lot of the feminists posting here are non-trad, and quite possibly will be non-wife as well.

Therefore the use of the term “tradwife” makes as much sense as the rest of Kate’s posts.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 03/05/2021 20:58

@Waitwhat23

Apparently a woman who is a 'tradwife' is someone who tends to believe in the phrase 'a woman's place is in the home' and the movement 'rejects the precepts of feminism'. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradwife

We're apparently not feminists....

If we aren’t feminists where does the t slur come into it
5zeds · 03/05/2021 20:58

So is a tradwife the opposite of a feminist? Were you attempting to undo the TERFing?

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 03/05/2021 20:58

@BetterKateThanNever

Good grief. As I've already said, very clearly, if you ask for a new counsellor for any reason you're very likely to be offered one! Even if your reasoning is transphobic, they're likely a better person than you who will still want you to get help and support, despite your prejudice!
But my reasoning isn't transphobic and im really fucking angry that I would be labelled as such just because I don't want to open up to a male bodied person about my trauma.
HannaHat · 03/05/2021 20:59

Tradwife 🙄... Good Lord, they really despise women don’t they?

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 21:00

'A tradwife (short for traditional wife) is a woman who prefers to take a traditional role in marriage.[1] Some may have chosen to leave careers in business or in public life to focus instead on their families and raising children.[1] They tend to agree with statements like "a woman's place is in the home".[1]'

Hmm

Definitely sounds like every radical feminist I've ever met.

OP posts:
Letsgetreadytocrumble · 03/05/2021 21:00

So there's this great thing called Google. You can ask it what a tradwife is, what a woman is, etc. It might benefit you.

Or.... it might benefit you.

Adult human female

To think that a Rape Crisis centre should not have a transwoman CEO?
TalkingtoLangClegintheDark · 03/05/2021 21:01

@Rubyrecka

What's a TERF?
A bit of background:

Some people think that biologically male people who identify as woman actually are women (although no one has ever provided a definition of “woman” which makes sense of that).

Some people (including me) think that biologically male people who identity as women are... biologically male people who identify as women. I define “woman” the same way the dictionary does: adult human female.

As a feminist, I think it is vital for women to have some single sex spaces and services, given the long history of oppression of female people by male people and the continuing epidemic of male violence/sexual violence against women and girls.

Because I don’t recognise biologically male trans people as women and I want women’s single sex spaces to be exclusively for biologically female people, some people (who I think are misogynistic and anti-feminist) call me and women like me “TERFs” - which stands for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists. More accurately, we’re Male Exclusionary, when it comes to women’s spaces.

The term is often accompanied by deeply misogynistic abuse and threats - such as “choke on my girldick, TERF” or “die in a grease fire, TERF”. It has been recognised as a slur in an English court of law. There are many examples here:

terfisaslur.com/

I consider anyone using that term to be a misogynist.

Those people would consider me to be “transphobic”, not because I wish trans people to be treated less favourably than other people (I don’t) but because I don’t subscribe to the ideological belief system that says a biologically male person who “identifies as a woman” actually is a woman. That in itself is “transphobic” according to those who use the word “TERF”, and many of those people would like to see women like me actually criminalised for not agreeing with their ideology.

5zeds · 03/05/2021 21:01

Total gobbledygook...

At the very least the post should be open for ALL men if the need for a female isn’t firm.

BlitheringBlathers · 03/05/2021 21:03

@BetterKateThanNever

Interesting how mumsnet deletes comments discussing how blatantly transphobic posters are, but lets this shitshow of a thread stay up!
I'd be interested to hear what you think is transphobic about this thread? Like I said earlier, people didn't used to have an issue with single sex provisions for traumatised and vulnerable females, what's the issue now?

Many women rely on certain things being single sex. If you don't that is fine, but you don't speak for me and you don't get to offer up these spaces on behalf of the rest of us.

Rubyrecka · 03/05/2021 21:03

@TalkingtoLangClegintheDark that's very informative, thanks

5zeds · 03/05/2021 21:05

Sorry your post was brilliant @TalkingtoLangClegintheDark. I meant the whole tradwife/terf tangle is nonsense.

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 21:05

Many women rely on certain things being single sex. If you don't that is fine, but you don't speak for me and you don't get to offer up these spaces on behalf of the rest of us.

Yes, this. And you also don't get to call rape survivors transphobic or prejudiced for wanting a woman counsellor.

OP posts:
Leafstamp · 03/05/2021 21:05

@5zeds

Total gobbledygook...

At the very least the post should be open for ALL men if the need for a female isn’t firm.

Yes, not only have they disregarded their own policy (that the post holder must be a woman), they have also discriminated against any other men who could have applied for the job.

Double fuck up.

kowari · 03/05/2021 21:06

@BetterKateThanNever

Good grief. As I've already said, very clearly, if you ask for a new counsellor for any reason you're very likely to be offered one! Even if your reasoning is transphobic, they're likely a better person than you who will still want you to get help and support, despite your prejudice!
It's not transphobic if you would be uncomfortable with any male, however they present.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/05/2021 21:08

Yep, they are a transwoman not a woman. Not appropriate and likely to have an underlying agenda to remove female only spaces.

This.

Not to mention: what are the odds? How many women are there in the uk and how many trans women, and it just so happens that for this job, a role so specific to meeting the needs of vulnerable women, the best candidate, better than any of the actual women out there, happens to be one of the tiny number of transwomen?

It's so unlikely a transwoman would happen to apply for this, that to me it seems obvious the role was especially attractive to someone with an agenda to use it as a platform to further their position against women only spaces.

fruitbrewhaha · 03/05/2021 21:09

Mridhul Wadhwa, a trans activist, was very much against legislation protecting the legal right of female rape victims to be attended by female forensic teams.

Not who I'd want heading up rape crisis centres, someone who centres men.

Trappedonanisland · 03/05/2021 21:10

Completely inappropriate Op. YANBU

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 21:11

I posted this earlier, but this is someone with many years of experience in the sector explaining why women need single sex spaces

kareningalasmith.com/2020/07/08/trauma-informed-services-for-women-subjected-to-mens-violence-must-be-single-sex-services/comment-page-1/

OP posts:
5zeds · 03/05/2021 21:11

I honestly can’t see ANY reason you would want to remove the ability for female only support for these vulnerable victims?

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