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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this neighour should not have taken kid's ball

277 replies

junipertree2 · 03/05/2021 08:58

My sons were playing with a brand new football in our very small back garden yesterday when it bounced over the wall, down a path (our street is on a slope and we are the higher side) and came to rest on the opposite side of the street behind the back wheel of a neighbour's car. (The houses have no fences or gates.) Within about thirty seconds, he had raced out of his house and taken the ball.

Needless to say, my son who had just paid £17 for this ball was very upset and annoyed. AIBU to think that this man had no right to do this? He is a middle aged man who doesn't like children playing in front of his house, hates footballs and shouts a lot at boys in the street. But I am on my own and money is very tight.

OP posts:
sunsetsand · 03/05/2021 11:40

"But it landed in the road!"

I pick things up that are on the road and move them somewhere safer. So what?

It shouldn't be in the road in the first place.

DinaofCloud9 · 03/05/2021 11:40

Just go and ask for the ball back you great wet lettuce.

Carolduckingbaskin · 03/05/2021 11:44

And haven't kids sports all been suspended? This is part of the problem at the moment.

Erm no - football is very much being played. Stop being weird and go and ask for the ball back.

slashlover · 03/05/2021 11:44

I remember those type of people too. But there now seems to be zero tolerance of any kind of disturbance or noise from children. Read messages here from people complaining about the noise of children playing on trampolines, etc. Is it because so few young families own homes? I do remember having far younger neighbours, most of whom were parents with young kids themselves. Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect.

I can't see your point here about older people owning their homes. Do you think that people who rent don't get annoyed by other people's kids? Or young people don't get annoyed? They do.

So older people should put up with being disturbed in their homes because of covid? The older people who had to stay in their homes for months and couldn't leave to escape the annoyance?

What ages are the kids?

Anordinarymum · 03/05/2021 11:45

I sicerely hope my next door neighbour is a mumsnetter and owns this...........
For years her kids have kicked their balls over the fence into my garden. They have thrown small pieces of ornamental slate from their front garden at my dogs. I have found the slate pieces at the bottom of my garden and know what they have done.
They have thrown the slate at some ceramic lizards I put on my back wall and smashed them up.
I used to throw the balls (and the pieces of slate) back but now I leave the balls and my grandchildren play with them.
If they ask for them back I will send them over , but I won't automatically do it since they have been the bane of my life with their screaming which they seem to do when the sun shines and I am sitting out with a book.
The mother appears unconcerned; I am sure there are little birds flying around on the top of her fecking head

Shoxfordian · 03/05/2021 11:46

Yabu not to send your kids to apologise and ask for it back

EstuaryBird · 03/05/2021 11:47

I remember those type of people too. But there now seems to be zero tolerance of any kind of disturbance or noise from children. Read messages here from people complaining about the noise of children playing on trampolines, etc. Is it because so few young families own homes? I do remember having far younger neighbours, most of whom were parents with young kids themselves. Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect.

I had quite a bit of sympathy with you before I read that OP.

Yes, I am over 60 and have the temerity to own my own house which I worked fucking hard for all my life and I never asked or demanded that anybody give up a year of their life to protect me!! So you can stop with the ageist bollocks right away.

I actually wonder whether this whole scenario is an excuse for a bit of an ageist dig.

Personally I couldn’t give a shiny shit about kids playing football as long as they don’t damage anything but it sounds as if the area is small and close together so how can kids have a good kickabout somewhere like that? Take them to the park, let them run, they’ll have far more fun than tapping the ball around in a small space.

Solve your own problem, just go and ask for the bloody ball back 🤷🏻‍♀️

PenfoldPenny · 03/05/2021 11:47

@junipertree2

I did not ask for it back as he is unpleasant to children (not just mine) and I don't want to be yelled at or abused, thanks.

A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch.

When I was a child, the street was full of children playing - rounders, football, cribby. and coincidentally, half of all children weren't overweight, obese, or hooked on video games. But that's a price worth paying for a quiet street, eh.

If you arent going to go and politely ask for it back then he is just going to carry on.
Id go and talk to him or quit moaning tbh.
NotSorry · 03/05/2021 11:48

I’ve changed my vote to YABU because you haven’t asked for it back

HumunaHey · 03/05/2021 11:48

OP, please properly address why you won't just knock the door and ask for the ball back?

JackieTheFart · 03/05/2021 11:49

YABU to not go and get it back.

WilsonMilson · 03/05/2021 11:49

You’re not unreasonable to want and expect the ball back.
You ARE being entirely unreasonable to refuse to go and ask for it back - how on earth do you expect to get it back without asking?
Whether he’s a horrible man or not is really besides the point if you haven’t even attempted to retrieve it from him.

3scape · 03/05/2021 11:50

You're quite willing to have A rant and rave about this person behind his back but lack the gumption to just knock on a door and ask for a ball back. For goodness sake, stop whining about "in my day" and take action.

HumunaHey · 03/05/2021 11:50

He's unpleasant to children because he's annoyed at bslls flying around by his car. Hr probably will have something to say about this when you go to collect the ball. Just apologise and he will most likely give it back. You're being really pathetic about this.

thevassal · 03/05/2021 11:51

You are being so over dramatic. Grow some ovaries and just knock on the door and ask politely for it back. And if money is tight don't spend £17 on a ball you aren't prepared to ask for!

And no, kids sports are not cancelled, all the outdoor ones have started back where I live and I believe indoor ones with a limit.

And also no, not all homeowners are over 60! What a stupid thing to say! Don't think anyone in my street is over 40. Where on earth do you think all the families with young children live? Even where my parents live, which is an area known for older people to retire to, there are still a good mix of younger families.

Chewbecca · 03/05/2021 11:52

Send your kids over to apologise and ask for the ball back.

AlmostSummer21 · 03/05/2021 11:52

He was a bit sharp off the mark!

But honestly, you're an adult, stop acting like a child. Take your son over and apologise for the inconvenience and ask for the ball back.

As a single parent you are the one they're going to rely on to stand up for them! Not cower in the corner because the guy is a bit of a grump!

Roussette · 03/05/2021 11:53

I pick things up that are on the road and move them somewhere safer. So what?

It means it didn't land on his property, that's what.

Teeshirt · 03/05/2021 11:53

Just ask for the ball back. Or go with your DC and they can ask for it back and apologise.

Doghead · 03/05/2021 11:53

"And haven't kids sports all been suspended? This is part of the problem at the moment."

Utter rubbish. The problem is lazy parents who can't be bothered to take their children to an open space to play. There wasn't much organised sport when my son was little so every night after school (and work), weather permitting, I took him to the park and played football with him. I certainly didn't leave him in the garden kicking his football all over the place and bothering people.

OverByYer · 03/05/2021 11:53

Just go and ask for it back, it’s really not that difficult

ScreamingBeans · 03/05/2021 11:54

YABU not to go and ask for it back. It's not theft if he intends to give it back when asked.

Take your phone, film him if he starts being abusive.

But you should go and get your kid's ball back, you're role modelling ridiculous behaviour, sorry.

Roussette · 03/05/2021 11:55

I actually wonder whether this whole scenario is an excuse for a bit of an ageist dig

@EstuaryBird
Got it in one.
I wonder if the OP has parents who shock horror might be over 60.

sunsetsand · 03/05/2021 11:57

"It means it didn't land on his property, that's what."

Litter on the beach didn't land on my property. I pick that up.

Objects in the road didn't land on my property. I pick them up.

So should you.

Roussette · 03/05/2021 11:59

Eh? What you on about.

I don't drop litter, I pick it up.

My point about not landing on his property (possibly) is meaning that he can;t say... it was in my garden, so I'm hanging on to it.

Stop having a dig at me about litter picking because it's weird.