to think this neighour should not have taken kid's ball

[junipertree2]

My sons were playing with a brand new football in our very small back garden yesterday when it bounced over the wall, down a path (our street is on a slope and we are the higher side) and came to rest on the opposite side of the street behind the back wheel of a neighbour's car. (The houses have no fences or gates.) Within about thirty seconds, he had raced out of his house and taken the ball.

Needless to say, my son who had just paid £17 for this ball was very upset and annoyed. AIBU to think that this man had no right to do this? He is a middle aged man who doesn't like children playing in front of his house, hates footballs and shouts a lot at boys in the street. But I am on my own and money is very tight.

This thread is weird. So the grouchy no doubt warty and hunchback neighbour was waiting at his door in case the ball bounced over the garden wall and rolled into his long-nailed clutches? You said it was within 30 seconds. Did you race out the front and watch this happen? You must have been following the ball, did not he see you?

Clearly either fake or not the whole story.

I'm finding it quite hard to imagine a football that soared over the wall, rolled down a path (potentially gaining speed) and gently came to a stop by the neighbour's car without hitting it sufficiently hard that it might have damaged it. I'm also finding it hard to believe that if the neighbour has had no previous issues with balls hitting his car and this particular game was entirely benign, that he would be out in 30 seconds to grab the ball.

My suspicion is that he's had lots of problems with balls (not necessarily OP's children) hitting his car and has had enough.

We used to have a similar problem. We happily retrieved balls from our garden a dozen times a day during weekends and holidays. When they started hitting the car, we politely asked the children to play away from it and, when they didn't we started refusing to return balls. I have a strong suspicious something similar is happening here.

OP's A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch. comment misses the point. He wouldn't have taken it if it had stayed within their garden.
A child that can afford a £17 ball is surely old enough to go to the park?

I did not ask for it back as he is unpleasant to children (not just mine) and I don't want to be yelled at or abused, thanks.

Call his bluff, apologise and ask for it back. Take your phone film him, if he shouts at you shout back. If he refuses than not much you can do. But at least you’ve tried.

@Roussette

Eh? What you on about.

I don't drop litter, I pick it up.

My point about not landing on his property (possibly) is meaning that he can;t say... it was in my garden, so I'm hanging on to it.

Stop having a dig at me about litter picking because it's weird.

It was by his car though. If I found a ball say under my tyre I’d move it. Where to obviously would depend on several factors.

The fact that OP is railing at the world rather than simply knocking and asking for it back is bizarre.

Do something about it then OP. Go and ask for it back!

I'd go and ask for it back.

What was the neighbours response when you knocked his door to get it back?

And there it is...mumsnet bingo .
There's always someone who asks this kind of question when it's quite obvious the OP hasn't spoken to the neighbour.
Why do they do it?

So would I move the ball, I havent said I would not do that.

I was just tryng to say that it might well have not landed on his property but on a public road.

That does not mean I wouldnt pick it up.

I did say about writing a note, but personally I would just go and ask for it back. If you had done this straight away, when you saw him pick it up, it wouldn’t have become a issue!

You are being a complete wet lettuce not asking for it back.

Bloody hell, just go and get the ball back. Shut down conversation if he tries to moan. Smile, nod or whatever.

And buy a load of cheap balls for garden play. My neighbours’ kids play football outside come rain or shine all year round. I get a ton of balls over my fence and assume the other neighbours must too. I just chuck them back over the next time I go outside. They never seem to run out of balls and never come knocking to ask for them back which, tbh, I appreciate. Especially with wfh these days.

Read messages here from people complaining about the noise of children playing on trampolines, etc. Is it because so few young families own homes? I do remember having far younger neighbours, most of whom were parents with young kids themselves. Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect.

Yeah - I was with you until this - nasty and ageist.
I am over 60, I have a family with young children on one side and an older couple with frequently visiting grandchildren on the other. I often get balls into my garden - I always throw them back when I see them or go and collect them if a child knocks and i haven't noticed. I have let children form the back alley way into my garden to look for lost tennis balls and helped them look. I never complain about the bar-b-ques every weekend in the summer, because I have no problem with the sound of people enjoying them selves, I never complain when next doors baby cries in the night because she is poorly or teething because I have had babies and little ones myself.
I don't complain about the young lad who on his way to the park stands outside my house bouncing a basket ball up and down for about ten minutes most days - because he's out getting some fresh air and having fun.

Maybe the man you think is an 'old grouch' thinks you are a bigoted ageist so he stole your ball. Anyway most sensible, sane people would have just knocked and asked for it back by now.

It was by his car though. If I found a ball say under my tyre I’d move it. Where to obviously would depend on several factors.

I'd wellie it down the street and shout "ave it!!", Peter Kaye style.

@MarinPrime

What was the neighbours response when you knocked his door to get it back?

And there it is...mumsnet bingo .
There's always someone who asks this kind of question when it's quite obvious the OP hasn't spoken to the neighbour.
Why do they do it?

I always assume these types of posters are insufferably passive aggressive in real life

Op go and ask for it back and stop being so precious about your children. Neighbours have a right to peace and quiet not disturbed by football’s. You ask for it back then tell the dc not to play near the neighbours garden.

A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch.

That’s not quite true though Op, is it? They might have started playing with the ball in their own garden but the the ball ended up outside of it and under someone’s car.

Oh, and Jesus, just grow a backbone and ask for the ball back and let the boys apologise to him.

Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect.

Oh do Fuck Off 🙄

As if you won't just go ask for it back?! Grow a back bone. And give your kids a soft ball to play with unless they are in a large open space

You would rather have your kids upset about their brand new ball, than go and knock on the door of someone who may or may not shout at you?

That is absolutely shite behaviour OP, I can't believe you won't even ask for it back or back them up.

So you think balls and toys should just be left lying out because you don't want to have to go and ask for them

Chances are he's pissed off with kids shouting and balling . Playing football in the street no doubt his car will off been hit at some point.

People work hard and pay £1000's for cars and he doesn't want a ball anywhere near it .

Irrespective that it came form your garden it was on he car . We can all be a bit dismissive of what a pain in the arse noise and kids can be when it's your own we all tune out .

Just go and ask for it back .

I mean.... have you asked for it back?

@junipertree2
Since you haven't been to ask, how do you know that he is going to shout at you? Maybe he is just keeping it safe until someone comes and claims it! He has every right to pick up something he finds abandoned in the street, could have been thrown away for all he knows.

You also haven't mentioned how old your kids are? Apologies if you have and I have missed it. It's a very different situation if it's a couple of 3-5 year olds kicking a ball around rather than 14-16 year olds. I'm presuming they are older though since they have £17 to spend on a ball...

Jeez, just ask for it back! Unless you’ve had issues before it is unlikely he is going to shout at you.

We live at the top of a hill so don’t play ball games in the garden.