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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this neighour should not have taken kid's ball

277 replies

junipertree2 · 03/05/2021 08:58

My sons were playing with a brand new football in our very small back garden yesterday when it bounced over the wall, down a path (our street is on a slope and we are the higher side) and came to rest on the opposite side of the street behind the back wheel of a neighbour's car. (The houses have no fences or gates.) Within about thirty seconds, he had raced out of his house and taken the ball.

Needless to say, my son who had just paid £17 for this ball was very upset and annoyed. AIBU to think that this man had no right to do this? He is a middle aged man who doesn't like children playing in front of his house, hates footballs and shouts a lot at boys in the street. But I am on my own and money is very tight.

OP posts:
linsey2581 · 04/05/2021 18:03

Sorry? your moaning about paying £17 for a football but you wont go and collect it? Your also saying that the neighbour wont give the ball back, how do you know your kids wont get the ball back if they don't ask? Your not setting a good example for your kids. Also if someone kept hitting my car with a football I would be stabbing the ball with a pair of scissors!

Jennifer2021 · 04/05/2021 18:11

It’s a bit judgey to assume he has taken it out of spite,

Which if this is true leads me to believe this is the 10th time it's happened to the man who took the ball in and not the first.

Mere1 · 04/05/2021 18:34

Horehound is right.

mrsdaltongrant · 04/05/2021 19:24

@junipertree2 only a twat would take in a kids ball whether it was annoying them or not.... set your phone on record in your hand and go and ask for it back. Would just make sure (or try) that they don't volley it out of the garden again.

Beautiful3 · 04/05/2021 19:28

Go.over and ask for it back, nicely.

SerenityFlowers · 04/05/2021 19:52

No-one would park their car in the middle of a football game or let their own kids whack a heavy football about whilst they were relaxing outside with a cup of tea. So why do entitled parents whose kids are crap at football think it's ok for other neighbours to have to put up with this? Get them a lightweight ball instead - no-one will bother about that going over the fence. Keep the proper footballs for the park.

BookishKitten · 04/05/2021 19:55

I used to get kids and teenagers trespassing regularly on my front and back garden because they kicked the balls over the fences and they would just climb over and wreck the plants, pots and even a chair once. I basically couldn’t have any privacy because they just did it all the bloody time. I talked to the parents and still nothing. So I elevated the fence, put some defensive metal spikes and did not allow them to come in to retrieve their balls - instead I put them out in the front driveway in a box for that purpose. Works wonders

ERFFER · 04/05/2021 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VolvoMom · 04/05/2021 20:04

@ChrissyPlummer

I’m glad it’s raining here; there are loads of places round here where kids can play; a large park about 5/10 mins away, every house on this estate has a garden, there are quite a few kids trampoline/gymnastics/footy/cricket/tennis clubs. Instead they play in the road near our house (never near their own is it?).
@ChrissyPlummer Omg the rain saved my bank holiday or it would've been ruined by the incessant ball bouncing and racket. Female, mother and not old but considerate of how my behaviour and the behaviour of my family may negatively impact others.......
DenisetheMenace · 04/05/2021 20:19

“A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch.“

Wouldn’t have been an issue if it had stayed in their own garden 🤷‍♀️

MintyMabel · 04/05/2021 20:33

A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch.

They weren’t. The ball hit the guy’s car which wasn’t in your garden. I don’t buy all this “rolled in to his car” crap. Nobody rushes out to get a ball that just rolls into their car.

If money is tight, spending 17 quid on a football is a bad idea. Buy a tethered ball or tell your kids not to kick the ball over the wall.

Or, grow up and go and ask him for it back, apologise and tell him you’ll stop your kids doing it again.

Plunger · 04/05/2021 21:37

Isn't that theft? Report to the police.

UserAtRandom · 04/05/2021 21:44

@Plunger

Isn't that theft? Report to the police.
I don't think it's theft to pick up an abandoned item from the road/your driveway. (The ball had rolled quite a way so it wouldn't be clear where it had come from). Particularly if it's causing a hazard. If OP had actually bothered to go round and he'd refused to give it back, that would be different.

Otherwise I am potentially in trouble with the law for throwing away the hat that has sat on our front hedge for 3 weeks.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 04/05/2021 22:13

Go and ask for the ball back - you are encouraging his behaviour, have someone film the interaction and if he is abusive call the police. It’s theft.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 04/05/2021 22:56

I can hardly believe this is mumsnet - more like I-fucking-hate-kids-net.
“Your kids are crap at football” blah blah blah
It’s a football not a nuclear missile - clearly didn’t damage the car or the old bugger would have been screaming about it.
Demand the ball back op and ignore all the holier-than-thou my kids are perfect as am I brigade.

Jennifer2021 · 05/05/2021 06:26

I can hardly believe this is mumsnet - more like I-fucking-hate-kids-net.

But hating people over 60 for the crime of owning their own house is okay? Hmm
I don't hate kids. I do dislike parents who think it's my job to look after their kids that they're too lazy to supervise and who expect me to stop what I'm doing every five minutes to return thrown over toys and wandering footballs. Just take them to the bloody park!

HumunaHey · 05/05/2021 07:34

@Toomuchtrouble4me

I can hardly believe this is mumsnet - more like I-fucking-hate-kids-net. “Your kids are crap at football” blah blah blah It’s a football not a nuclear missile - clearly didn’t damage the car or the old bugger would have been screaming about it. Demand the ball back op and ignore all the holier-than-thou my kids are perfect as am I brigade.
Yes, demanding the ball back is a sure fire way to solve the problem Hmm
HumunaHey · 05/05/2021 07:43

@Toomuchtrouble4me

I can hardly believe this is mumsnet - more like I-fucking-hate-kids-net. “Your kids are crap at football” blah blah blah It’s a football not a nuclear missile - clearly didn’t damage the car or the old bugger would have been screaming about it. Demand the ball back op and ignore all the holier-than-thou my kids are perfect as am I brigade.
And what's hating kids got to do with this? I have a child and take personal responsibility for their actions. If money was tight, I wouldn't buy them a £17 ball in the first place. I'm sure there were cheaper options. If my child's ball rolled over to a neighbours car and the neighbour took it in, I would simply knock the door, apologise and ask for it back. Depending on the actual size of the garden, I wouldn't let them play with the ball there if it's like to fly over the fence and out into the public. Especially if it's a £17, which is quite expensive for a ball and likely to be a weighty basketball/football fir the price so could cause quite a bit of damage.

I'm sick of the rhetoric on here of parents not accepting that their child's actions can have consequences. OPs child didn't behave badly but the neighbour is probably sick of balls hitting/going near his car. The neighbour is hardly a villain in this, unless OP bothered to ask for the ball and he refused to return it. From what I've read, that hasn't happened.

Madamum18 · 05/05/2021 09:22

If you really don't want to speak to him I suggest a brief note to say: I am sorry that the kids ball landed behind your back wheel which I think has annoyed you. Please could you now return it. Thankyou

BingBunnyIsAnnoying · 05/05/2021 09:33

@Roussette

But it landed in the road!

It didn't land in the neighbour's garden.

Let's not let the facts get in the way of ppl slagging off the op's children for doing nothing wrong!

mumto2teenagers · 05/05/2021 09:39

there now seems to be zero tolerance of any kind of disturbance or noise from children. Read messages here from people complaining about the noise of children playing on trampolines, etc. Is it because so few young families own homes? I do remember having far younger neighbours, most of whom were parents with young kids themselves. Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect

I don't think it has anything to do with families owning their own homes, the OP did not confirm in the original post whether her or her neighbour owned or rented their homes.

When I was growing up we had elderly neighbours one side and a middle aged couple with no children the other, neither of them minded us asking for our ball back, in fact the elderly neighbours were more likely to invite us in for a slice of homemade cake than moan about the ball going in their garden.

I would just send your son to knock on his door, apologise that the ball rolled into his car and ask for it back. Depending on the age of your son you might want to go with him.

Letthefunandgamesstart · 05/05/2021 09:48

If you saw where the ball landed, why didn't you/your son just go and pick it up?

SoupDragon · 05/05/2021 09:50

The OP isn't coming back!

Bodynegative · 05/05/2021 10:16

@SoupDragon

The OP isn't coming back!
Hardly surprising considering the attitude of some people replying to her! She asked a question and was spoken to like a piece of dog shite for allowing her children to kick a football or even buy a football for that matter. The miserable old sod (and I'm over 60 btw) has no right to take a ball that isn't his. We also don't know why the OP is a single mum or the kind of area she lives in. She may have had an abusive partner or the neighbour may be someone who would make her life hell if she challenged him. Seriously, it comes across as bullying and downright nasty behaviour.
MintyMabel · 05/05/2021 10:54

there now seems to be zero tolerance of any kind of disturbance or noise from children.

I live next to a small park. The noise from the kids playing isn’t a problem. The noise from kids running up and down in front of my house screaming for an hour when I am trying to work is a problem. My zero tolerance is for what seems to be a growing number of parents who aren’t teaching their children that they need to be respectful of others.

DD came home once and told me a woman had come out of her house and asked her and her friends not to make so much noise. I didn’t pander to her and tell her she was allowed to do what she wanted, I told her she had better have apologised politely or we’d be going round to do it there and then.