AIBU to wonder if excellent housekeepers are also on the anxious side?

[eepeep]

If you are a brilliant housekeeper with one of those picture perfect homes, I am full of admiration and wish I had your style and discipline.

However I have noticed that everyone I know who is fastidious about a clean and perfect house also has some level of anxiety that they manage to varying degrees. Which makes me curious, are there people out there who keep perfect, beautiful, clean, magazine-worthy homes who are also chilled out and not particularly stressed? If so, what's your secret?!

@Hedgehog123

It obviously varies a lot person to person, but I think it can be about control, and being in control of your immediate environment is an easy way to exercise control when you don’t necessarily have a lot of control in other areas of life if that makes sense? I often think that in difficult political/economic times (a pandemic even!) people turn to the domestic and the small area of the world they have control over and can attempt to make order in chaotic times. A messy environment can be very anxiety making for some people and a clean and tidy home can go some way to soothing that anxiety and give a feeling of control and being on top of things?

Yes this is it exactly for me!

Before I had dcs, I worked full time and studied part time. My house was always very tidy and clean. It never seemed to get dirty or untidy with 2 adults.

Since having dcs,, (I still work full time but I don't study for exams), it is very difficult to keep the house tidy and clean.

I think the dcs have a lot of toys, clothes, sports gear etc which make tidying harder. Also we help with homework, take them to activities. I don't have a lot of unstructured time in the house to do bits. I try and clean at the weekend. I give a brief tidy up each eve. Because we have so little free time, the basics are done but skirting boards, decluttering can be left.

A household with 2 people working and dcs in sports is going to be more of a challenge than a house with 2 part timers and dcs who are older teens/20s.

It has got a bit easier as dcs are tweens and are getting more independent re homework. I know it gets easiet again as people retire/work part time and have less commitments re dcs and activities. When I worked fulltime and had no dcs I kept on top of housework, painting etc very easily.

The actual opening post stated “picture perfect” homes but that seems to have been taken by so many posters as just “tidy”. My house is tidy. It’s organised. I can invite someone back after a day out without worrying or shame. But it isn’t “picture perfect” in the way that’s been described, and in my experience that does tend to accord with either a high degree of anxiety or not a lot else going on in their lives.

All the people saying “well the rest of you are just dirty slobs” are kind of missing the point.

My house is in super shape, always has been, even with 4 children.

A combination of being very organised, a cleaner, a tidy husband, and 4 children that have been reared to pick up after themselves and MOSTLY do.

They key to a tidy house is storage IMO.
Oodles of storage.

Everything is so much easier if things can be returned to their spot.

See you point @billy1966 about storage being necessary for a tidy house and don't completely agree. Storage is a start,yes.

If the storage is just filled up and never cleared out, it will not continue to provide a solution. The clear outs are key for me.

Anxiety manifests itself in different ways, at different times, for different people.

One person might be too anxious of 'doing it wrong' to attempt to clean or sort out their house. Another might have depression as well as anxiety, meaning they find it difficult to get started on everyday tasks. Or they might be a hoarder, frightened of letting things from the past go, for whatever reason. Another person might find that tidying or cleaning makes them feel happier or calmer. Someone else may be very focused on another anxious thought, meaning that cleaning or tidying is lower down their list.

There's no 'one size fits all'.

The actual opening post stated “picture perfect” homes but that seems to have been taken by so many posters as just “tidy”

true, but "picture perfect" is open to interpretation and probably doesn't mean the same thing for everybody.

I read on some thread that some posters hated a kitchen with empty worktops, because it was "cold", "clinical" and didn't feel lived in. I can't stand having anything on MY worktops. It's just taste. Some people spend a fortune to buy mug trees, or fancy fruit bowIs. Contrary to what some posters pretend, it's not making a judgment to prefer different things.
Our idea of "picture perfect" would be very different.

I still disagree that it is necessarily linked with anxiety. It might be for some, but it's not a general rule.

I have only come across people who have immaculate homes who have OCD or some form of anxiety or depression etc

I think people clean to keep their anxiety at bay. The people who say they like a clean and organised house because it brings out their anxiety if it gets in a mess

My mother turned cleaning into a weapon to beat me with. I could tell by the sound of the hoover what mood she was in when I got home from school.
She let herself into my flat with her sister one day whilst I was at work and cleaned my flat then spent hours screaming at me about how she had to come in to clean and it was my fault she had to do it when I objected.