To think if 5000 people can cram in to a festival, my kid can go to his classmates house after school?

[ItsNotComplicated]

I have followed ALL the rules throughout for the last year.

I was surprised to see that a 5000 person sell out festival has taken place in a big top tent with no distancing. (I’m not complaining).

For a year, I’ve not allowed my DC inside with their friends. DC3 has been invited to a friends house for lunch tomorrow. I had my reservations but now , I’m thinking this is so far beyond nonsense if this festival has gone ahead!

DC3 is in the same class as his friend. WIBU to let him go?

@RedToothBrush

Also its May. Just bloody do something outside. Its not fucking hard. He is a kid so there's no 'oh well he's got arthritis and cant cope with the cold' excuse.

Theres no fucking snow now.

You do realise children can get arthritis, right? Or are you so dense you didn't realise?

Unless you have access to OP's DC's medical records you shouldn't assume things you do not know.

Thank you so much for letting us know there is no snow now. Here I was polishing off my snow boots for tomorrow.

The last lock down has been horrible and my 3 young adults have been bored out of their minds. We haven't broken the rules but I get that it's very tempting to do so now.
It was so lovely to see those young people at their festival, I hope every single one of them had a blast. It was very controlled environment though and each of them was tested prior to entry.
I therefore don't think you can compare the 2 situations. I'd let my child see his friend but I would ensure it was outside and within the rules.

Its two weeks. Do what the fuck you like - follow the rules / dont follow them. I don't care

Stfu then?

You do realise children can get arthritis, right? Or are you so dense you didn't realise?

Bore off.

As i say. Super specialitus isnt infectious. Its just an inability to be honest about breaking the rules.

@PatrickBatemann

Its two weeks. Do what the fuck you like - follow the rules / dont follow them. I don't care

Stfu then?

Yes why dont you?

Nope have to prove how exceptional your needs are.

Ffs.

You're very angry Redtoothbrush I get its frustrating.
but im a special case cos my kid has bluelime fungal disease' or whatever nonsense it or this inane false equivalence nonsense.
Some DC can't be kept in lockdown it is nothing to do with being special if you are a parent of this type of child, quite the opposite of special.

Stop it just stop it!

Just do it if you feel its essential.

Just stop the endless handwringing about why its essential!

Thats my point.

If its essential you don't have to justify it! If you have to go through the endless justification process then you probably shouldn't be doing it!

[quote ItsNotComplicated]@WorraLiberty I’m not blaming the experiment; I completely understand the concept.

IF he goes, I feel I can “justify” it as part of his well-being. He has regressed in all areas of social and communication (ASD) and I feel this would benefit him in more ways than it would my NT child just having a play date.[/quote]
You clearly don't understand it if you are using it as an excuse to break the rules. It's an experiment under controlled circumstances. If everyone takes your attitude then we will never get back to normal as the virus will get out of control again. We are hopefully nearly there with just a few weeks until the rules disappear. Think about everyone, not just your son, and do the right thing - stick to the rules for just a few more weeks.

Reach a definitive decision and line and have enough confidence in that position to just do it without the dramatics of posturing about why you have reached that decision.

Just break the rules or dont.

All the playing to the audience is the nonsense bit.

And leave scientific research out of this bravado.

I would let him.
DS2 best friend lives next door and they’ve been playing together for weeks, they are both 10.
They sometimes play in the house but mainly in the gardens or on the street at the front.
I’m not sweating it anymore, I’m fully vaccinated and LFT twice a week and so is my neighbour, I’m a HCP and she’s a carer. My older children aren’t mixing except at school but my youngest has had a really rough time of it all and I feel the risks are low.

"It's an experiment"

Or a risk if it goes wrong.

The biggest YANBU Ive ever given

To be blunt about it, i have far more time and respect for people just being honest and saying "thats it, im breaking the rules" with no explanation given than all this bullshit excuses

I doubt anyone cares what you think, particularly given the empathy bypass you’re showing on here.

@RedToothBrush

To be blunt about it, i have far more time and respect for people just being honest and saying "thats it, im breaking the rules" with no explanation given than all this bullshit excuses, 'but im a special case cos my kid has bluelime fungal disease' or whatever nonsense it or this inane false equivalence nonsense.

Its two weeks. Either get the fuck on with it and have the hardnosed ability to eat a picnic in May or shut the fuck up and just get on with breaking the rules without bleating on about why its ok to do so.

All this tortured justification is just that. Tortured. Its as bullshit and as inconsistent as the rules people criticise not because they think they are flawed but because they simply dont like them. Just say it. "i dont like the rules and dont want to follow them anymore" rather than trying to explain to other people why you dont want to be judged for it.

The research is important. It gives us critical information. It helps us understand patterns which may be needed in future situations or around the world with infectious disease.

Don't undermine and devalue that importance cos you are fed up of the rules and little Billy is finding it tough. Everyone has had it tough in their own way. I bloody get it. I just don't give a shit about how others are super special cases who are more worthy of being allowed to break the rules than others.

Its missing the point and you will be just as judged for trying to muddy the waters and being cowardly about it.

Its two weeks. Do what the fuck you like - follow the rules / dont follow them. I don't care. I can't change minds on that.

But i will damn well call out the gutless whinging that tries to damage the integrity and importance of these trial events.

You know and I know its not just any old 5000 capacity rave.

We all know, it isn't just any old excuse to get pissed and have a party. Its pure petty jealousy to suggest it is.

Lets just get to that reality and piss off with all the sanitation to the neighbours / social media.

For the sake of two bloody weeks.

Could not agree more. We don't need yet more false equivalency or excuses. Just get on with it, like everyone else is. You are not special.

The weather forecast for most of the country is horrible, so all the people saying he and his friend should have a picnic outside are being unreasonable.

I've prerty much stuck to the rules all.the way through but it's now getting ridiculous. I would let him go.

I would and I have and I also couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about me doing it. Mental health is important, kids especially so if you feel your child's is suffering then I would do it.

Yet another one who thinks they know better than professional epidemiologists while having no concept of the effect of the behaviour of individuals on a population level.

The test events are serious scientific research to help decide how to get these industries up and running again safely. .

On the matter of your DC going to his mates house after school, it's not just him, it's potentially every DC in the country. And while the risk of 1 interaction might seem very low, if you have millions of people doing the same thing, some of them will transmit the virus. And them some of them will then transmit it to other people and it's out of control again and people are getting seriously ill, filling up the hospitals and dying.

It's also important to remember that going to school, work etc are relaxations. No-one has decided that some activities are safe and some are unsafe, it's just that if the activity is beneficial to society as a whole it can go ahead, hopefully in a COVID safe manner, but it's accepted that some people will get ill.

But the risk is reduced for everyone by asking people to avoid unnecessary activities like in home socialisation, because the risk of transmission is high, and it can be easily avoided. If your DC wants to see his mates, do it within the rules at the time, so outside somewhere.

@EmmaGrundyForPM

The weather forecast for most of the country is horrible, so all the people saying he and his friend should have a picnic outside are being unreasonable.

I've prerty much stuck to the rules all.the way through but it's now getting ridiculous. I would let him go.

Monday afternoon yes, the weekend up to then no, it's been fine or the odd shower. COVID or not, you're seriously limiting your lifestyle if you live in the UK and avoid going out any time there's a suggestion of rain or it being a bit cold.

There is no need for large scale social gatherings of thousands of people. They could all be scrapped forever and I would not care at all.

You may not like / want to attend them but others do.

@KatherineJaneway

There is no need for large scale social gatherings of thousands of people. They could all be scrapped forever and I would not care at all.

You may not like / want to attend them but others do.

Plus many people's livelihoods depend on them, it's a multi billion pound industry.

It's totally sensible for the first festival-type event to happen with controls and extra testing to research how much of a spread (if any) it causes before such events are generally made legal so it is perfectly fine for this event to be going ahead.

Its already entirely legal for your DS to go around to his mates after school if they stay in the garden. You are right that there would be pretty much no additional risk if they went inside given that they spend all day indoors at school anyway. However the rules and restrictions aren't a way of categorising activities between aafe/unrisky vs unsafe/risky but an arbitrary (but nevertheless important) set of limits which as a whole dial down the total amount of opportunities for germs to spread. Teaching your DS that its important to follow rules that exist for the greater good even if there wouldn't be much in the way of personal individual detriment from breaking said rules is an important lesson which I hope you encourage him to learn. However I would have no issue with saying he could go to the mates house and you would prefer them to stay in the garden but it's ok to go indoors for a bit of the time eg to use the bathroom or grab a snack but est to be outdoors as much as possible.

@RedToothBrush

Also its May. Just bloody do something outside. Its not fucking hard. He is a kid so there's no 'oh well he's got arthritis and cant cope with the cold' excuse.

Theres no fucking snow now.

Not snow but we've had some pretty dramatic hail this week on a lot of occasions. We're not particularly far north. They weren't passing showers you could eat outside in.

Frankly I don't really care if you want to have playmates, just do it and use your own common sense.

But it isn't in any way comparable to the test events, for which controlled research is really vital before we take the next step of opening up further elements of socialisation.

For those who would happily have these events scrapped forever, where do you propose the more than a million people working in the industry go to work?

@RedToothBrush you are being unnecessarily aggressive. How dare you make assumptions about me based on my questioning about the rules.

You say I think the rules don’t apply to me because I think I’m “special” . Did you actually bother to read anything I posted?

Frankly, you come across as a sanctimonious know it all with a real attitude problem.

Whinging?! Are you for real ?!! God forbid anyone dare say anything against the fact that the rules now appear to be outdated when other higher risk socialising is allowed.

You say this study is controlled ; yes it is but as a pp pointed out , it is not compulsory so not exactly fool proof is it?

And what about the fact that children can now go to indoor sports classes with no testing , mixing with children and adult class teachers from various schools....

Or go to indoor trampoline parks mixing with a whole host of other kids and using equipment that everyone else has used ? Please don’t come back with “these are controlled...” because you are seriously deluded if you think there is any social distancing going on between primary aged children .

Those activities are far higher risk than my one DC going to the house of a child of the same bubble. It is nonsensical that these activities are legal and a class mate going to a house of another bubbled child is not.

I’m well aware it’s May . I’m also well aware that it has rained here for the past week and nobody wants to sit outside in the rain. Be realistic. Yes it’s two weeks to go; I did say my child had been invited, I have not done the inviting for the fact that it is not yet allowed. I was simply stating that it does not sit right with me to say no given all the reasons I have stated in my pp, most of which you have chosen to ignore.

I have repeatedly stated I have followed ALL the rules ALL the way through. I also stated that the reason I was considering (not allowing!) to let him go is because he has been severely affected by the current lockdown. I also stated that this would be more beneficial to him than my NT child just having a regular play date because of these reasons.

So therefore , mixing is allowed for mental welfare .... I’m sure you’ll come back with some reason why I’m wrong .

But please, at least keep your aggressive, condescending and frankly rude tone in check