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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if 5000 people can cram in to a festival, my kid can go to his classmates house after school?

176 replies

ItsNotComplicated · 02/05/2021 22:15

I have followed ALL the rules throughout for the last year.

I was surprised to see that a 5000 person sell out festival has taken place in a big top tent with no distancing. (I’m not complaining).

For a year, I’ve not allowed my DC inside with their friends. DC3 has been invited to a friends house for lunch tomorrow. I had my reservations but now , I’m thinking this is so far beyond nonsense if this festival has gone ahead!

DC3 is in the same class as his friend. WIBU to let him go?

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 02/05/2021 22:46

I love how you can use a research study into possible spread as an excuse to bash the rules and excuse your son going off to see his mates, without a hint of irony or reflection as to why they are bothering to study this.

It does really say a lot about people going 'its so unfair' in a Kevin voice.

Original poster
ItsNotComplicated · 02/05/2021 22:47

@RedToothBrush Hmm have you even bothered to read what else I have posted?

It’s not a jolly for my DS. Also, as I’ve just posted , I have NOT agreed.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 02/05/2021 22:48

It’s research, as it a couple of other events. We have two weeks to go, just stay with the rules

pinkcattydude · 02/05/2021 22:50

I’ve recently had DS’ bestfriend over for the day. Just like at school I had the windows wide open. I stayed out of the way and left them to it. I cleaned thoroughly before and after. It was an exceptional time as my father was dying and to be honest we needed the distraction. But I’m glad I did it

Original poster
ItsNotComplicated · 02/05/2021 22:51

@RedToothBrush you really haven’t got the grasp of what I’m trying to say “going off with his mates...” Confused I stated it was one child in the same bubble.

OP posts:
LadyWhistledownsQuill · 02/05/2021 23:04

@LoopyGremlin

If does seem inconsistent that kids under 12 can freely mix at school, can go to McDonalds and sit in for lunch (we are in Scotland where you can eat indoors but not drink alcohol) and go to the trampoline park together, but can’t sit in each other’s bedrooms and watch Netflix or play with toys. I would let your child go!
This
CarmelBeach · 02/05/2021 23:09

@ItsNotComplicated

I’m am aware it is research and I do understand it but how long can the average Joe be expected to carry this on when you have others going to football matches and festivals in their thousands?

I have followed all rules all the way through but now I feel like I’m at peak tolerance . DC3 has ASD and his social and communication skills have massively deteriorated over lockdown. He rarely wants to go anywhere but he seems very pleased to be invited and I feel very uneasy about saying no given the fact there’s been a match and festival!

I might have misunderstood but although it's research, it's not fully controlled - the testing after isn't compulsory?

I completely see your point tbh. I have followed the rules, been vaccinated etc. I would have thought a test event like this size would come after allowing people to visit in homes?

UserAtRandom · 02/05/2021 23:09

I assume your DC and his friend and friend's family will be testing beforehand and will checked at regular intervals afterwards to see if they contract Covid or spread it to anyone?

Otherwise, not really the same.

Why can't they just have a picnic lunch in the friend's garden?

EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 23:09

The DC have sacrificed enough let them go. I allowed DD bring a school friends over and short of tying DS up he is out playing every day he also has ASD alongside other comorbidities an angry emotional disorder etc he is like a caged animal we try avoiding other DC but they join up outdoors.

bridgetreilly · 02/05/2021 23:11

It’s literally two weeks to wait until that’s legal. Just wait.

RedToothBrush · 02/05/2021 23:12

[quote ItsNotComplicated]@RedToothBrush you really haven’t got the grasp of what I’m trying to say “going off with his mates...” Confused I stated it was one child in the same bubble.[/quote]
I have.

You are impatient and cant get your head around priortised essential versus social activities which enable the rules to be functional in practice if not coherent and consistent.

Frankly im sick of the whinging. Just get on with it for another 2 weeks now.

I get it, you are fed up.

Im judt grateful they are actually trying to monitor stuff because there is usefulness to it long term and it may affect what happens in the autumn if we start to see cases rise again to sny degree which is still being modeled.

It might mean that they judge your kid can just play with his mate rather than face another lockdown.

BonnieDundee · 02/05/2021 23:12

It is ridiculous OP, let him go. Will probably do him the world of good

EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 23:15

You are impatient and cant get your head around priortised essential versus social activities
Maybe it is essential for his wellbeing too, the social impact on DC has been horrendous, I've no idea how I'm going to get introverted DD back to normality she has happily become a recluse.

RedToothBrush · 02/05/2021 23:16

Also its May. Just bloody do something outside. Its not fucking hard. He is a kid so there's no 'oh well he's got arthritis and cant cope with the cold' excuse.

Theres no fucking snow now.

RedToothBrush · 02/05/2021 23:17

@EmeraldShamrock

You are impatient and cant get your head around priortised essential versus social activities Maybe it is essential for his wellbeing too, the social impact on DC has been horrendous, I've no idea how I'm going to get introverted DD back to normality she has happily become a recluse.
And how can this not be done outside? Ffs its two weeks.
maddening · 02/05/2021 23:20

If you all take lateral flow tests which return a negative response beforehand, and then 5 days later it would be the same.

But it is only a couple of weeks to wait now.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/05/2021 23:20

Why does it have to be lunch inside? Surely he can socialise outside like everyone else is having to.

maddening · 02/05/2021 23:21

Friends I hope to see after the next easing have all said we will do lateral flows before meeting indoors.

BonnieDundee · 02/05/2021 23:23

Am very surprised to see pp saying its not fucking hard. You know what, this year has been fucking hard. The just a few weeks argument is wearing a bit thin now

Newkitchen123 · 02/05/2021 23:23

@Thatisnotwhatisaid

As others have said, the rave was an experiment and there’s a further one at a concert on the horizon. They also did one last month at a snooker match. They test everyone before and after, the people who have signed up to this are essentially Guinea pigs.

Having said that, I would allow your DS to go to a sleepover. The rules change in a fortnight anyway, I’ve said it on other threads but 2 weeks really won’t make a jot of difference.

So where do you draw the line if 2 weeks won't make any difference? In that two weeks, how many vaccines will have taken effect? What if it was 3 weeks? Would that make a difference? Where do you stop? What if everyone said oh it won't matter it's only a few weeks?
LemonTT · 02/05/2021 23:27

Not this crap again.

Didn’t people do this equivalency nonsense to death last year. It was boring then.

Devlesko · 02/05/2021 23:31

Of course it's fine, no social distancing at the crucible for Snooker final. That's indoors, last time I looked.
The rules have gone now, bobody is bothered as it obviously isn't a risk anymore.

RedToothBrush · 02/05/2021 23:35

@BonnieDundee

Am very surprised to see pp saying its not fucking hard. You know what, this year has been fucking hard. The just a few weeks argument is wearing a bit thin now
As said above. Kids are seeing each other in school now. They can see each other socially outside now.

The hard bit has been done. Its two weeks of just getting on with it. Then in a few weeks people can have the data that shows doing things in a monitored way means we can all go to big 5000+ events.

Including the kid who clearly struggles with eating his packed lunch outside and runs around like a headless chicken going "its spitting, its spitting!" at a drop of rain.

SeaTurtles92 · 02/05/2021 23:49

I'd say do it.
Kids play together at parks, admittedly outside but I don't know anyone that drags their kid away when they start playing with another child.

At least you know these people.

Skysblue · 02/05/2021 23:50

Let him go.

Your son is already sharing germs with his classmate: if one gets covid so will the other.

Someone upthread said that a government research project on how to conduct large social gatherings is more important that a child’s social life. I respectfully disagree.

There is no need for large scale social gatherings of thousands of people. They could all be scrapped forever and I would not care at all. A child’s social life during formative years is crucial to his mental health and social development. The government is priorising things that make money over children’s mental health.

My son has been asking for a year when he will be able to have a classmate in his home to play (he gets about 30 minutes of play per day at school because of this crap government’s crackdown on grammar and reduction of break times). Should I tell him that adults can sit in crowded pub gardens breathing all over strangers, exercise in gyms next to panting strangers, and party with thousands of strangers, but he can’t have his best friend round even though they sit next to each other for hours at school? Ridiculous and unreasonable. Especially when it will be legal in 2 weels.