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AIBU?

To let guy come over to see me

78 replies

Redruby2020 · 02/05/2021 20:45

Hi all, okay I have been in contact with a guy I met through online dating for around 5/6 weeks now, we have since swapped numbers because of how we got on etc. I have not managed to meet him yet due to child care restrictions etc, and when I had free time I had other stuff to do. I had lots of occasions whereby I could have met hun out somewhere with my DS, but put it off because I thought it wasn't right, and I don't expect any guy to be jumping for joy but also he wanted to see me, so was understanding that I might have to eventually do this with my DS in tow.
I won't invite him in the house yet because I don't think it's right, but the other option was to sit outside in his car for a bit, but then although it amounts to sitting in the back garden with him(if I had one) 😆 I felt bad to sit out the front with him, and it wouldn't be for long and I would have to keep coming in to check on DS once he goes to bed.
I think I have made choices based on what others think, but also because I am a worrier for obvious reasons, because I have a child etc.
I think god what if I then give him my post code and he comes and then he's got it and it becomes a problem. Or I get in the car and he drives away etc, I know I'm probably getting carried away but it's all relevant. If it had been last year I was living with family then I would of done bed time and gone for a few hours with him etc.
So not sure what to do now.
Thankyou for reading this far.

OP posts:
Poppop4 · 02/05/2021 20:49

Just to clarify your considering sitting in a car with this guy and leaving your child asleep in the house without another adult there?

romdowa · 02/05/2021 20:50

Hire a baby sitter once restrictions lift ?

EbbandTheWanderingHearts · 02/05/2021 20:50

Seriously? Wait until you can meet in a safe place nowhere near your home or child.

jmp2 · 02/05/2021 20:50

I think it is a really dangerous idea to give a guy your address, especially when you have never met and he knows you and your child are alone in the house. I know it is a hard situation, but you are putting yourself and your child in a vulnerable position. He should not be around your child at all - try to sort childcare or leave it would be my advice!

Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails · 02/05/2021 20:52

I can't see anything going wrong with meeting a random man from the internet, alone, at your house, with a child upstairs.

Don't be ridiculous.

Make time and arrange childcare. Meet out the house in a public place.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 02/05/2021 20:52

Is he so very gorgeous, sexy, intelligent and hilarious that you absolutely have to meet him in a risky situation and leave your sleeping child alone in a house?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/05/2021 20:53

You would be mad to give this man your address. Meet him in public in a safe place, many times, before you even consider allowing him to know where you live.

Starstruck2021 · 02/05/2021 20:55

No too risky with a man you have never met.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 02/05/2021 20:56

And don't meet him with your child in tow. I know it's rare but a certain type of man seeks out single mothers who are willing to introduce their kids early!

NurseButtercup · 02/05/2021 20:56

I definitely don't recommend that you take your son with you when you meet him. But if you cannot arrange a babysitter, why can't you meet him at a pub and sit outside? Or meet him somewhere for coffee?

Whatever you do, definitely don't invite him to your home.

Starstruck2021 · 02/05/2021 20:56

What if he puts pressure on you to come into the house?

MoiraRose4 · 02/05/2021 20:59

You cannot be serious. No, you don’t take your child with you to meet a guy for the first time and no, you don’t give your address to a man you’ve never met so he can come over, to sit outside or otherwise, while your child is in the house. Just no.

Redruby2020 · 02/05/2021 21:00

Hi, thankyou all for coming on so quickly and replying, you've all said what I already have and hence the reason I have not done that until now. He has even offered to pay for a baby sitter, I have not given my address and do not intend to, i know I put it out there to be honest with the facts that have been considered. I guess what I should have added, is what about if someone is in the house with DS?
To me I am still dubious to give out address to pick me up, but then I would be asking to collect me from elsewhere, because I would have someone at home with DS of course.

What about guys ringing to talk like on the app they can ring as well, do you think that is bad as well? Asking because yes I really would like your opinions, thanks.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 21:00

Get a child minder and go for a drink.
I wouldn't give the address or invite a stranger to my home with DS at home.
I've met some bloody weird men in my dating days.

isthismylifenow · 02/05/2021 21:01

Good gracious. No!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/05/2021 21:03

My god. Do not do this.

If you don't have childcare then you just have to wait until you do. It's only 2 weeks to go until indoor mixing is allowed and you can get a babysitter. Please do not risk your safety and your child's safety for a man. Hmm

EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 21:04

If he has your number why talk on the app.
Meet him on the corner if someone is watching DS go for a drink or a coffee.
I doubt he'll rob you, take a picture of his car reg send it to a friend.
Lots of people meet online now.
Good luck.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/05/2021 21:05

X post, no I don't think there is anything wrong with talking on the phone.

Laggartha · 02/05/2021 21:06

It’s a first date. Surely you just meet up for a coffee or a drink?

Darbs76 · 02/05/2021 21:07

If someone else will be in the house just go and meet him for a coffee outside somewhere. Don’t give him your address

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 02/05/2021 21:09

If you can easily get a babysitter then book a table and go for lunch, or coffee or whatever. Make sure you make your own way there, and back as well.

Its easy to fake a persona online for a few weeks.

CorianderBee · 02/05/2021 21:09

Are you OK? You sound a bit naive not even knowing if you can call him. Of course you can call him...

Hire a babysitter and go to a coffee shop or bar to meet him...

BrilliantBetty · 02/05/2021 21:11

No. Just wait until someone can look after your child and you can meet somewhere else.

Don't give him your address at this stage. Or until you are comfortable in his presence and know him better (in person).

Speak over the phone/ messages until you're able to meet for a drink or similar.

BrilliantBetty · 02/05/2021 21:12

And meet him at the location independently don't get him to pick you up.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 02/05/2021 21:15

I would also advise you to videochat at least once before you agree to meet him.

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