AIBU?
To let guy come over to see me
Redruby2020 · 02/05/2021 20:45
Hi all, okay I have been in contact with a guy I met through online dating for around 5/6 weeks now, we have since swapped numbers because of how we got on etc. I have not managed to meet him yet due to child care restrictions etc, and when I had free time I had other stuff to do. I had lots of occasions whereby I could have met hun out somewhere with my DS, but put it off because I thought it wasn't right, and I don't expect any guy to be jumping for joy but also he wanted to see me, so was understanding that I might have to eventually do this with my DS in tow.
I won't invite him in the house yet because I don't think it's right, but the other option was to sit outside in his car for a bit, but then although it amounts to sitting in the back garden with him(if I had one) 😆 I felt bad to sit out the front with him, and it wouldn't be for long and I would have to keep coming in to check on DS once he goes to bed.
I think I have made choices based on what others think, but also because I am a worrier for obvious reasons, because I have a child etc.
I think god what if I then give him my post code and he comes and then he's got it and it becomes a problem. Or I get in the car and he drives away etc, I know I'm probably getting carried away but it's all relevant. If it had been last year I was living with family then I would of done bed time and gone for a few hours with him etc.
So not sure what to do now.
Thankyou for reading this far.
jmp2 · 02/05/2021 20:50
I think it is a really dangerous idea to give a guy your address, especially when you have never met and he knows you and your child are alone in the house. I know it is a hard situation, but you are putting yourself and your child in a vulnerable position. He should not be around your child at all - try to sort childcare or leave it would be my advice!
NurseButtercup · 02/05/2021 20:56
I definitely don't recommend that you take your son with you when you meet him. But if you cannot arrange a babysitter, why can't you meet him at a pub and sit outside? Or meet him somewhere for coffee?
Whatever you do, definitely don't invite him to your home.
Redruby2020 · 02/05/2021 21:00
Hi, thankyou all for coming on so quickly and replying, you've all said what I already have and hence the reason I have not done that until now. He has even offered to pay for a baby sitter, I have not given my address and do not intend to, i know I put it out there to be honest with the facts that have been considered. I guess what I should have added, is what about if someone is in the house with DS?
To me I am still dubious to give out address to pick me up, but then I would be asking to collect me from elsewhere, because I would have someone at home with DS of course.
What about guys ringing to talk like on the app they can ring as well, do you think that is bad as well? Asking because yes I really would like your opinions, thanks.
BrilliantBetty · 02/05/2021 21:11
No. Just wait until someone can look after your child and you can meet somewhere else.
Don't give him your address at this stage. Or until you are comfortable in his presence and know him better (in person).
Speak over the phone/ messages until you're able to meet for a drink or similar.
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