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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to loose my shit when my almost 3 yo refuses to have his teeth brushed?

94 replies

Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:05

Okay, sounds trivial, but tooth brushing is a major trigger for me. I have horrible teeth. I have spent sooo much time in the dentist chair as a child and as an adult. I don't want that for my ds. He is in a phase where he is refusing to let me brush his teeth no matter the time of the day. He won't do it himself either. I overreact and loose my shit because it is just such a major trigger for me. I grew up having the worst confidence about my smile. I have smiled with my mouth closed my whole life. I don't want that for him, but it surely isn't good for him either that I have a melt down just before bedtime because he refuses the toothbrush. Yes, I know they are baby teeth. Yes, I know that I should probably see a shrink, but seriously what does one do? Ds is 3 yo.

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 01/05/2021 22:07

Does losing your shit help? Does it make him brush his teeth? Does it make you feel better? I bet it’s a no to all 3. You need to find a way to separate your own negative experience of teeth to your child’s normal behaviour.

Zanina · 01/05/2021 22:09

You can buy double sided toothbrush on eBay. Bit pricey and designed for toddlers but helps to get them used to it if you just give it to them to chew on x

Original poster
Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:10

@UhtredRagnarson Wow what a helpful answer, I obviously hadn't thought of that myself. If it was easy I would have don't it

OP posts:
Original poster
Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:10

@Zanina Thank you, this is really helpful

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 01/05/2021 22:11

[quote Lois345]@UhtredRagnarson Wow what a helpful answer, I obviously hadn't thought of that myself. If it was easy I would have don't it[/quote]
What question did you ask? Remind me again.

Rummikub · 01/05/2021 22:11

Can you turn it into a game?
Can he brush yours while you do his?
Get him to scream (dinosaur chasing him) so he opens his mouth?

UhtredRagnarson · 01/05/2021 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:12

@rummikub I can try. Thanks for the tips

OP posts:
Babymamma192 · 01/05/2021 22:12

@lois345 I completely understand and relate to this especially lately! I too have had problem teeth all my life and really don't want the same for my two DDs. They fight me on it every night and I have a melt down as well!

I feel like filming the whole thing an then when they're older and complaining about their teeth ill get the video out and show them what they put me through every night 😂

Joking aside I have no advice but just wanted to say that your not alone and that it is hard!

DoverWight · 01/05/2021 22:13

Try the Pokémon smile teeth brushing app, he might be a bit young but it worked for my 8 year old.

Rummikub · 01/05/2021 22:13

Also see it in stages so every step is ok and stress free. Chew on the brush so he gets used to it. Reward if he lets you clean his teeth for ten seconds and keep upping the time each day.

mumtobhoyandghirl · 01/05/2021 22:14

I have the exact same issue with my son who is 2years old. Sometimes it's ok but honestly I dread it because I've tried giving him toys to brush their teeth while I brush his. I've tried playing songs, showing him YouTube videos. I've tried getting mirrors out and I've equally just lost the plot with it because I don't want him having bad teeth. Things have improved though and it was down to a cocomelon video showed germs on the teeth then germs on your hands before brushing? Not sure if this will help ? Now he says he doesn't want bugs on his teeth lol

user1471462428 · 01/05/2021 22:14

BLippi toothbrush song. YouTube. I haven’t shouted in a week.

Mammyloveswine · 01/05/2021 22:15

My 3 year old isn't a fan of getting his teeth cleaned so I do it in the bath when I'm washing him..I look behind his ears for potatoes growing, under his neck for mushrooms and his toes for broccoli (all daft but he finds it hilarious and means he's all relaxed!) then I do the same with his teeth brushing "ooh is that a pea I can see there? Oh my goodness there's a chip! " etc..it makes it into a game and so much less stressful!

Also check out blippis toothbrushing song on YouTube!

Ps I'm sure all the perfect parents will come along and flame you for daring to ever show any other emotion than calm and peace but you have recognised this is an issue and have reached out for support. You know it's not good to lose your shit and that will be part of the issue so take it back to basics. Use the toothbrushing song and allow your son to brush his own teeth for a little while..then you check. The way you go about it will make a huge difference to you both.

Good luck op!

Howzaboutye · 01/05/2021 22:15

Look up blippi on YouTube. Incredibly annoying but kids seem to love it, to brush along to.

And it's just a phase. Just bear hug and teeth clean as fast as possible. He's only little and doesn't understand how important it is.

Rummikub · 01/05/2021 22:15

I tried a lot of things when my dd used to refuse teeth brushing.

grapefruitish · 01/05/2021 22:17

Try the hey duggi toothbrush song on utube, try holding a toothbrush each so you both do it or, my sons favourite, a game where he has to open his mouth, you put the brush in to clean his teeth and he has to bite/catch the toothbrush, you can usually scrub a couple of teeth before they bite it. When they catch it, you say open and start again. I can usually get a good clean this way.

Original poster
Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:17

@Babymamma192 Thanks so much. It actually helps knowing that I am not alone in this

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 01/05/2021 22:17

try neutral flavoured toothpaste.
try a brush that cleans both sides of the teeth at once.
try waiting until an hour after they have fallen asleep and do them then. (finger in side of mouth gives access to teeth)

try a finger toothbrush.
try wrapping them in a towel and brushing when they yell. (last resort)
try a special toy they get to hold when thye clean their teeth
try a vibrating toothbrush.
try getting them to choose a toothbrush at the shop

some of those work for us, have worked in the past and there is some intermittent cleaning teeth themself going on as well now.

GreyhoundG1rl · 01/05/2021 22:17

It's a nightmare, op. I've had all three of mine in a literal headlock at times (and been vilified on here when I mentioned it) but toothbrushing is non negotiable in this house.
It gets easier. Do what you can in the meantime.

MiddlesexGirl · 01/05/2021 22:17

Sorry OP - it's always unreasonable to lose your shit with a 3 year old. I mean we've probably all done it at some time but it doesn't make it OK.

Rummikub · 01/05/2021 22:18

Wait till you try getting eye drops into them! Then only a head lock will do!

alexdgr8 · 01/05/2021 22:18

how about mouth-wash, would he do that. it's better than nothing.
you could find him some strange flavour.
or a little toy crocodile with teeth that he could brush the teeth on. then might transfer to doing his own too.
try to step back. if you leave him to it would he just go to bed without any mouth-care.
maybe you and anyone else in the house could brush their teeth at his bedtime, in his sight, but without demanding anything of him.
he just might want to join in, if it seems the grown-up thing to do.

Original poster
Lois345 · 01/05/2021 22:19

@Mammyloveswine Thanks so much for the tips and for the support! I am obviously feeling awful about loosing my shit, hence this post. I appreciate the non-judgemental support very much

OP posts:
Beedabop · 01/05/2021 22:21

Baby bum toothbrush video was a game changer here.