AIBU to loose my shit when my almost 3 yo refuses to have his teeth brushed?

[Lois345]

Okay, sounds trivial, but tooth brushing is a major trigger for me. I have horrible teeth. I have spent sooo much time in the dentist chair as a child and as an adult. I don't want that for my ds. He is in a phase where he is refusing to let me brush his teeth no matter the time of the day. He won't do it himself either. I overreact and loose my shit because it is just such a major trigger for me. I grew up having the worst confidence about my smile. I have smiled with my mouth closed my whole life. I don't want that for him, but it surely isn't good for him either that I have a melt down just before bedtime because he refuses the toothbrush. Yes, I know they are baby teeth. Yes, I know that I should probably see a shrink, but seriously what does one do? Ds is 3 yo.

I have an either or option for my 3 year old who answers and means no to everything. “Either get your teeth brushed, or no story in bed” usually works. If your DC wouldn’t understand that, have two brushes and offer a choice between them.

I’ve got to say though, the either or option only works if you’re willing to go with whatever option the child picks. If DS said no to brushing his teeth he’d get no story in bed, it’s not an idle option. When he figured out there really wouldn’t be a story he asked to brush his teeth

Denny app, life saver!

It is hard isn’t it. If my partner is home at bathtime she sits on his knee, he swaddles her in a towel and I sing a silly song I made up about teeth. I found if I’m singing, I can’t be shouty or snappy. Then give a good scrub of the bottom ones. Then a break. Then sing the Hokey Cokey which makes her really laugh so then that reveals her top teeth and I can get in there and scrub while she’s laughing. Or her dad makes silly noises to make her laugh. I have learned (the hard way) that I just have to make it a positive silly game as no amount of sternness etc makes it any easier.

I feel your pain, I’m going to sleep now but will come back and read properly tomorrow - you and me both though, I feel like a d*ck also, but yep massive trigger.

We could have got a bad batch but we’ve had two of those double sided/360 toothbrushes and were both crap!!! @Zanina what brand have you used always willing to try anything re this!

@ConfusedAdultFemale my eldest is un-bribe’abel, does not negotiate, I think he might have been a Russian spy in a past life.

@mowglika I think we have the same child. That is exactly how it goes in our house sometimes too....word for word 😂

Nobranothanks

So glad it helped!! I can still remember my own relief, some years ago now. I can happily report we’ve had no tooth brushing issues since!

@Nobranothanks Same here. the monsters have been a total game changer. DS is now ASKING to have his teeth brushed and insists that there are more monsters in his mouths even after I have finished!

We use the app Brusheez, they pick a monster and it has a timer / song. My toddler loves it! And because they can change the hair colour etc they get excited about brushing their teeth. Maybe worth a go?

I’ll be honest. I showed my 3 and 5 year old pictures from Google of children’s rotting teeth. I told them, “that’s what happens when children don’t let their mums and dads brush their teeth”.

Never had any issues since.

@Lois345 sadly no such luck in our house. We hit death con 7 mode tonight including screaming - high pitched "I'm being murdered screaming" - because I picked up the tooth brush whilst no where near her. No amount of monsters/goblins worked unfortunately! She then continued this on by screaming blue murder that I got her wet (I was washing her face)

At least we all seem to be in the same boat on this thread lol

I told my three year old brush refuser no more treats till he brushes his teeth he understood that i have lost my shit many times it did not help but the threat of no more milky bar cakes seemed to go right in good luck and this is a phase it does pass

@berryhead2013 bloody long phase in this house 😂 more like a millennium.

When my ds refused to do his teeth at that age I'd shut the bathroom door, sit on the floor in front of it and say I'll wait here till you're ready to clean your teeth then. He soon got bored and agreed to it and I only ever had to do it a few times before he learned it had to be done.

Sounds like you might have found a solution but I used to have a (quite annoying) game called "the brush of doom" which is where the brush of doom was killing all the germs on DS teeth. I'd do voices for the brush and the germs 😂 Sometimes though, for extra hilarity, the brush of doom's brother would need to stand in. He was completely rubbish at brushing teeth and he used to brush noses, cheeks, ears, foreheads etc!! Funnily enough, DS would be first to tell the stupid brush brother what he was supposed to be doing

With my toddler, I sing when she does her teeth. I stop when she stops brushing. I take requests. She loves it. I think it's about finding a fun thing (singing, dancing, playing a fun song on your phone etc) to make it interesting and exciting. Make it a game.

We also tried her brushing my teeth while I did hers. Different brushes. But for us singing works. She also likes a big/adult tooth brush (like daddy has.. her words). She went through a stage of liking to watching herself in the Mirror

Sorry OP, what I should have said was that I only came up with this game after losing my shit multiple times. I'm not Mary Poppins!

@OlympicProcrastinator glad someone else thought of this, I have been wanting to do this but didn't know if it was too much, I already have to clean teeth by holding the toothbrush to their mouth and not letting them go until they open it for me to clean. I just hate forcing them to do things but I can't let this slide, I worry about their teeth almost every day, I want to take them to a dentist to have a check up but no nhs dentists near me have started routine appointments yet. I feel like a really bad mother.