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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 'celebrating your curves' is becoming a worrying trend?

604 replies

Freesunglasses · 01/05/2021 19:41

So many of my overweight 'friends' on facebook are joining in the whole "I'm embracing my curves and loving this body, every inch"
The thing is they are Obese, not use a little overyweight but really fat. The more people see and read things like this the more it will become normalised.

Worrying times ahead I think. We're going to be a very fat country in the not too distant future.
I know it's hard to lose weight. I know lockdown has made lots put weight, I'm a little overweight myself but I will never say I'm happy with it because I'm not! I like being thin, I want to be thin.

For the love of God stop normalising and celebrating obesity.

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 02/05/2021 14:26

I do actually agree with you - when very overweight people (especially those in the morbidly obese category) 'celebrate their curves' they're sending out a message to themselves and others that it's perfectly ok - when actually it's very dangerous. You will never see a 'celebrate your curves' poster on the wall of a GP surgery.

AlwaysLatte · 02/05/2021 14:29

NB curves as part of a normal BMI are totally fine, of course.,

AntiHop · 02/05/2021 14:30

As someone who was anorexic and bulimic as a child, and is now an overweight adult, I say mind your own business.

Jourdain11 · 02/05/2021 14:35

@EmeraldShamrock

I think there are a lot of people on mumsnet whose only self worth is based on the fact they are slim.

Comments like this are putting slim women down basically insinuating they've nothing of value beyond a slim body similar to some comments on here insinuating women with some weight should not be encouraged to love themselves.

It's an eye for an eye and unfair on both sides.

Whether we like it or not we're following America's obesity crisis blindly things are only going to get worse for some people who need proper supportive measure not to be vilified.

This body positive thinking is great It's not encouraging people to put on weight but to have self love with confidence.

Oh, but it's fine to be rude about slim women, because that's not politically incorrect Hmm
CovoidOfAllHumanity · 02/05/2021 14:37

For me the toxic thing is that women are only valued for the way they look.

I do not have a pretty face and I will admit that a motivation to keep my weight down for me in the past is that I thought I at least had to do that to avoid being irremediably ugly and therefore worthless.

It's a shame I thought like that because I now know that I have a tonne of other stuff going for me that is so much more important. Getting older has been freeing on that front because everyone's getting uglier in their 40s! I also stopped wearing make up because I stopped caring about making myself look 'acceptable'. This is what I look like take it or leave it.

I wish we could just say

  • If you like the artistry of make up and fashion AND it's equally open to men and women then go ahead but you don't need to wear make up or look a particular way to be acceptable
  • maintain a healthy weight for you and do some exercise because that's good for your physical health but you don't need to starve yourself or fit into a particular size to be acceptable

Weight is a health issue and that matters but whilst it's also an appearance issue that's where things get mixed up and people are suspicious of anyone talking about the health issues related to obesity because they think it's all a smokescreen to talk about women's appearances yet again

Silvergreen · 02/05/2021 15:17

Are these threads started by hangry people on diets? 😂

MolyHolyGuacamole · 02/05/2021 15:20

@Freesunglasses Who said fat people should hate themselves?

You did. Your OP states that they shouldn't be celebrating being overweight. What is the opposite of celebrating?

Just own your disgusting judgement instead of acting like you're not implying that fat people should not like who they are just because you didn't use those exact words. It's a common cop out for people getting called out on their views, and is gaslighting.

Jourdain11 · 02/05/2021 15:34

Tbf, the OP says people shouldn't be celebrated being obese. Just as you wouldn't celebrate being emaciated. And it is also perfectly possible to accept and be content with your body without "celebrating" it.

I definitely don't celebrate being flat chested, lol. But I accept it and I'm happy that it's the way I am. And am also pleased by certain benefits, f.i. spending less on bras!!

IceSwallowCome · 02/05/2021 15:37

We have this thread every day.

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 02/05/2021 15:56

@IceSwallowCome

We have this thread every day.
Yep, it just goes around and around in circles.
Puntastic · 02/05/2021 16:05

[quote AvaCallanach]@HopeClearwater
And yet in the 70s those people were by and large not dieting. There were no "low fat" alternatives, no skimmed milk, no "go ahead" brands. You put butter on your veg. No one avoided carbs.

Nobody fasted for 24 hours.

The fact that society has ballooned is not because back then people were better at dieting.

Something has got fucked up between now and then in our relationship with food, and it's not the fault of any individual within the system.[/quote]
Are screens to blame, do you think? I bet people in the 70s didn't spend anywhere near as much time sitting down as we do.

EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 16:08

Oh, but it's fine to be rude about slim women, because that's not politically incorrect hmm
Where have I said it is perfectly fine to be rude to slim women in my post you highlighted?
I am a slim woman. I said neither is acceptable.

Jourdain11 · 02/05/2021 16:17

@EmeraldShamrock

Oh, but it's fine to be rude about slim women, because that's not politically incorrect hmm Where have I said it is perfectly fine to be rude to slim women in my post you highlighted? I am a slim woman. I said neither is acceptable.
Ah, I'm sorry. I was agreeing with your post, a pro pro of the quote you'd highlighted. Sorry if I offended - I meant to agree with you!
EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2021 16:18

No worries, sorry too. Smile

CounsellorTroi · 02/05/2021 16:23

Are screens to blame, do you think? I bet people in the 70s didn't spend anywhere near as much time sitting down as we do.

I'm sure that banging away on manual typewriters used up a fair amount of calories!

FindingMeno · 02/05/2021 16:24

Other women can do what they want.
I don't want to be an unhealthy weight, but that's my choice.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 02/05/2021 16:25

@Jourdain11

Tbf, the OP says people shouldn't be celebrated being obese. Just as you wouldn't celebrate being emaciated. And it is also perfectly possible to accept and be content with your body without "celebrating" it.

I definitely don't celebrate being flat chested, lol. But I accept it and I'm happy that it's the way I am. And am also pleased by certain benefits, f.i. spending less on bras!!

The title says 'celebrating your curves'. So again, if OP is saying that you shouldn't celebrate your curves, the suggestion is that you should do the opposite of celebrating.
SueSaid · 02/05/2021 16:33

'think there are a lot of people on mumsnet whose only self worth is based on the fact they are slim'

Honestly, why all this bitterness? My self worth has nothing to do with my BMI thanks. It isn't in the healthy range purely by chance, it takes effort but it doesn't define me.

People need to lose the defensive attitude and face facts, being obese in your 30s and 40s will lead to chronic health conditions when older, if not sooner. It should not be offensive to say that! People claim to know this yet they do fuck all about it.

StubbleMeansTrouble · 02/05/2021 16:37

As someone upthread pointed out, this thread just keeps happening again and again, day after day.

People seem to be totally outraged by the fatness of other people. It's like it's an actual affront to their existence that fat people breathe, live, love and take up psychological and physical space.

I do wonder why people aren't quite so outraged about other "vices" people engage in. Where are the recurrent threads incensed at sitting behind a smoker who smells like a walking ashtray? (happens a lot).. Or the drinkers who engage in anti social behaviour on the bus (ditto) ? Etc etc. But no, it's the people who eat too much who get it every time.

Fat really is the one acceptable prejudice everyone can safely indulge in.

everybodysang · 02/05/2021 16:45

I'm fat. I'd like not to be. I'm taking steps not to be. I do have some quite significant mental factors that affect how I see food (crazy mother with eating disorder has left me with quite disordered thinking around food, is the short story). I've found it hard to address one without addressing the other and I've had to pay for help with that - which I didn't have the means to do earlier in my life. Also, it took me quite a while to work out that I had an issue there. All a roundabout way of saying, it's quite complicated sometimes and also sometimes people genuinely are doing their best.

I'd rather not be absolutely miserable about my body though. I used to really hate it. Now I think, I'd rather love myself however I look. And I'm really ok with others celebrating how they look. I don't really care if people are judging me silently, but a culture of shaming seems very unlikely to work, no?

SueSaid · 02/05/2021 16:50

'People seem to be totally outraged by the fatness of other people. It's like it's an actual affront to their existence that fat people breathe, live, love and take up psychological and physical space.I do wonder why people aren't quite so outraged about other "vices" people engage in. Where are the recurrent threads incensed at sitting behind a smoker who smells like a walking ashtray?'

Not 'outraged' by obese people but the trend for normalising it is wrong. Smokers don't tend to suggest the smell of fags is empowering and gorgeous. Heavy drinkers don't want congratulating for their bad habits.

Big is not beautiful, it is a serious health risk.

Blueskytoday06 · 02/05/2021 16:54

Mind your own m.

HumunaHey · 02/05/2021 17:05

@StubbleMeansTrouble

As someone upthread pointed out, this thread just keeps happening again and again, day after day.

People seem to be totally outraged by the fatness of other people. It's like it's an actual affront to their existence that fat people breathe, live, love and take up psychological and physical space.

I do wonder why people aren't quite so outraged about other "vices" people engage in. Where are the recurrent threads incensed at sitting behind a smoker who smells like a walking ashtray? (happens a lot).. Or the drinkers who engage in anti social behaviour on the bus (ditto) ? Etc etc. But no, it's the people who eat too much who get it every time.

Fat really is the one acceptable prejudice everyone can safely indulge in.

Such threads do exist, they just don't last very long because people don't bite and get offended. If all those offended by this thread didn't bother to comment, it wouldn't be quite as long.
amusedtodeath1 · 02/05/2021 17:12

It's not about advocating an unhealthy lifestyle though. It's about saying I may be overweight but I still value myself, I am still sexy and I won't allow people to make me feel ashamed because I am just as worthy as anyone else is. Hmm

StubbleMeansTrouble · 02/05/2021 17:13

I don't agree. Threads about fat people collectively , and fat people feeling OK about themselves collectively , and how fat people will collectively be the downfall of civilised society happen day after day after day. Threads about the collective evil of smokers and drinkers are rare, unless they are affecting a specific individual in a specific situation.