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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get why people refuse to exercise?

544 replies

JumpingJacky · 30/04/2021 16:21

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

OP posts:
MidlifeMinou · 01/05/2021 17:45

I’m a qualified PT with an additional qualification in GP referral. I’ve worked with lots of people who have totally lost confidence due to ill health both physical and mental. It is true to say that exercise can benefit almost any health condition and I find it really really sad that even so the barriers can be just too great. Before I became a PT I suffered from a chronic pain condition and any exercise (even gentle yoga and walking) caused flares. I think being able to exercise is a privilege (on so many levels) and I’m lucky that I found help with my condition to enable me to do it. BUT I too can feel really intolerant of people who don’t look after themselves and moan about being overweight etc. And I do ‘lose’ it sometimes and get evangelical about diet and exercise 😬😬😬 and I’m sure my friends and colleagues would like to hurl donuts and lard at me. It’s hard when you know how good people should and would feel, even if they don’t enjoy it at the time. There are so many ways to move! I’m not a fan of the gym myself - nasty smelly places.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 01/05/2021 18:02

I’ve had a bad back for 4 weeks now from lifting a heavy wet grow bag. It’s slowly healing but at first I couldn’t even lift my foot to get my knickers on!
My aunt who prides herself on her fitness kept telling me to walk up and down the stairs and to touch my toes - it was only the back pain that stopped me from punching the smug mare in the face - I was in agony! Still in a lot of pain, and am NOT up for going to the bloody gym!
Mind your own business.

Tessabelle74 · 01/05/2021 18:05

I'd do a bit of exercise if I knew you, sticking 2 fingers up at you! Its none of your concern about what others do and your "helpful" advice could tip someone over into self harm or depression so please just stop!

Happyher · 01/05/2021 18:09

Obese people do not want to go to the gym due to embarrassment. And you don’t know how active people are when you’re not there. I don’t exercise but I have busy days even when at home. People want sympathy, not a stern lecture

Cowbells · 01/05/2021 18:21

People have such complex emotional baggage about their bodies. I realised that for a lot of my adult life I've enjoyed exercise - I've tried and stuck to for a year or more at a time: dance, flow yoga, martial arts, boxing, running, circuit training, weights, bootcamp, zumba, aerobics, hill walking, swimming.

And yet I am overweight. Much as I adore exercise, I have poor appetite control. I know I should deal with it but I don't know how because the impulse to overeat is so very much stronger than the impulse to diet.

I presume it's like that for the people who don't exercise. They know they should but the overwhelming urge to curl up on a sofa just annihilates the tiny urge to put on their trainers and get out there.

Goondoit19 · 01/05/2021 18:27

People like moaning simple as that. It’s not their fault and if they fixed it then they wouldn’t have anything to whine about and no ‘story’ to tell. Lots of victims out there.

GreyhoundG1rl · 01/05/2021 18:33

@MidlifeMinou

I’m a qualified PT with an additional qualification in GP referral. I’ve worked with lots of people who have totally lost confidence due to ill health both physical and mental. It is true to say that exercise can benefit almost any health condition and I find it really really sad that even so the barriers can be just too great. Before I became a PT I suffered from a chronic pain condition and any exercise (even gentle yoga and walking) caused flares. I think being able to exercise is a privilege (on so many levels) and I’m lucky that I found help with my condition to enable me to do it. BUT I too can feel really intolerant of people who don’t look after themselves and moan about being overweight etc. And I do ‘lose’ it sometimes and get evangelical about diet and exercise 😬😬😬 and I’m sure my friends and colleagues would like to hurl donuts and lard at me. It’s hard when you know how good people should and would feel, even if they don’t enjoy it at the time. There are so many ways to move! I’m not a fan of the gym myself - nasty smelly places.
Most people know full well they'd feel better if they exercised and lost weight (if they needed to) The whole tone of your post is like the op's; there's an air of you having had a revelation so far denied to the rest of us and you've been tasked to spread the word. I'd stop preaching to your friends while they're still friends.
CanofCant · 01/05/2021 18:37

Can't be arsed to RTFT after your OP, but I find a born again anything is a total patronising pain in the arse.

RantyAnty · 01/05/2021 18:45

Why? Probably because it isn't taught as a habit like bathing and teeth brushing are.

I've stopped giving advice about anything. Most people don't want it and want to moan rather than change.

When I had a hunch about a stock or other investment, and would tell close family about it and not once did they buy even one share. They complain how broke they are though and tell me how lucky I am. Luck has nothing to do with it.

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 01/05/2021 19:00

YABVU and also annoying by the sounds of things...why does anyone owe you good health?

Before you come back with arguments about strain on the NHS/tax payers money I know lots of sporty people who have injured themselves or have ongoing complaints due to their chosen exercise/hobbies, had to access ongoing health care for it as well as taking time off work yet they don’t seem to attract the same level of judgement that other people who are considered a strain on resources do.

Januaryissodull · 01/05/2021 19:02

I do agree that exercise can relieve a lot of minor ailments.

But you can't really go around telling people what to do. Most people already know what they should be doing already.

Zotter · 01/05/2021 19:03

It is true to say that exercise can benefit almost any health condition

I have severe ME, exercise intolerance huge feature of ME due to adverse physiological responses to exertion. See link below.

Even when moderately affected 10 minutes walking was my maximum limit. I miss exercise so much.

www.physiosforme.com/what-about-exercise

To not get why people refuse to exercise?
GreyhoundG1rl · 01/05/2021 19:07

@RantyAnty

Why? Probably because it isn't taught as a habit like bathing and teeth brushing are.

I've stopped giving advice about anything. Most people don't want it and want to moan rather than change.

When I had a hunch about a stock or other investment, and would tell close family about it and not once did they buy even one share. They complain how broke they are though and tell me how lucky I am. Luck has nothing to do with it.

Why do you think people are obliged to act on your stock market "hunches"?!
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 01/05/2021 19:19

I run but I hate it. I've also played hockey, netball, tried pilates and yoga. I hated those too. I've never felt any improvement to my mental health from any form of exercise. Exercise is a chore I force myself to do. I totally understand others choosing not to. These days, I run mostly to encourage my children.

pictish · 01/05/2021 19:24

@Januaryissodull

I do agree that exercise can relieve a lot of minor ailments.

But you can't really go around telling people what to do. Most people already know what they should be doing already.

I agree with this. Everyone knows what and how much they should be eating and that they ought to exercise regularly in one way or another. They don’t need to be told.
HelloMissus · 01/05/2021 19:28

Don’t give unasked for advice is a good rule for life. And don’t assume you know what’s going on in someone’s else’s life.
And I say that as someone who has just done 15k on the exercise bike.

FrozenVag · 01/05/2021 19:37

@jumpingjaky

Op I’m going to read your posts later but just wanted to say your story is great and hopefully it will inspire me

I too have long standing health issues and seem to be unable to face the fact that exercise would work

I live with a health obsessed man who bless him foand don’t nah me buy I can see him fretting as I just get bigger

It’s like I’ve given up on myself

Thanks for starting by this thread

GoldDisco · 01/05/2021 19:41

A lot of my friends are hitting their late 40's early '50s and I have observed those who have not taken care of their health, weight, and fitness are beginning to feel the consequences with a lot of ailments. It is a bit too late to start exercising and being health conscious at 50.

I am quite a health and fitness freak, but I would never tell another what to do. Your health and fitness is quite a solitary and personal thing and only you can sort it out.

GreyhoundG1rl · 01/05/2021 19:44

It is a bit too late to start exercising and being health conscious at 50
Of course it isn't. It would have been ideal to start earlier, undeniably, but 50 isn't exactly one foot in the grave.

Smartiepants79 · 01/05/2021 20:00

I’m an intelligent and educated person. I understand that exercise, being fit and eating well is good for me.
The problem is that I find most exercise deeply, deeply dull. It bores me into inactivity.
I eat reasonably well and am not overweight.
I keep trying with the exercise bit, maybe one day I’ll find something I love!

theleafandnotthetree · 01/05/2021 20:03

@EvilPea

Boring, expensive (for trainers, sports bras etc), not enjoyable.

I used to do a lot of waking. But now everyone is walking it feels too busy everywhere.

Too busy with walkers? Gosh people really will use any excuse not to exercise
tigerlilly22 · 01/05/2021 20:04

Without wishing to sound rude, you crack on with your life and let other people crack on with theirs!

dotdashdashdash · 01/05/2021 20:06

maybe one day I’ll find something I love!

I've found something I love - rock climbing. But having you kids means it's an impractical form of exercise to do regularly enough to be beneficial.

dotdashdashdash · 01/05/2021 20:06

*young not you

billybagpuss · 01/05/2021 20:08

@theleafandnotthetree sadly I agree, lockdown has actually made walking very difficult for me, I have a reactive dog who I have to keep on the lead and everywhere has been so so busy, I’ve spent a fortune on secure dog fields which are not great for walking around. I’ve loved the last couple of weeks though now people are able to go other places and the footpaths are less stressful.