Neighbour has changed the colour of jointly owned access gate

[RikkiT]

I live in a terraced house and my 2 adjoining neighbours have access via my garden to the street for things like taking their bins out. There is a single gate onto the street that connects to a alleyway in my garden for myself and my 2 neighbours to use.

Today my neighbour has painted the jointly owned gate without consulting myself or our other neighbour. The gate was white and has been painted black.

Regardless if it "needed painting" or "looks better" in principle my neighbour should have consulted me and my other neighbour first right?

It more the principle that they have done it without checking in first. If it had been kept the same colour I may have overlooked it as it it. something we are all jointly responsible for.

Would It be unreasonable of me to confront my neighbour and ask why they didn't consult me and my neighbour first?

My wife seems to think it will cause more hassle than it's worth.

after the diagram, YANBU. not at all.

If you OWN the gate (ie it broke and the neighbours looked to you to replace it) just say in passing to the painter next time 'thanks for painting my gate I just never got round to it'.

I agree with you that the neighbour should have consulted you before painting a gate that is very obviously not theirs. All these posters saying what's the problem, would have a big issue if it was on their property.

If it needed painting and you didn't want anyone else to paint it then perhaps get in there and paint it first yourself next time? As you didn't paint it and it needed it I don't blame them for just getting on and doing it. I expect they just had some left over paint going spare and thought they were doing everyone a favour. But if you want to look like a miserable bastard who thinks things should be done his way - but doesn't actually bother to do it, just moans about it when other people do - then go ahead and complain.

Good grief. Its Gategate. Some folk!

@Viviennemary

Good grief. Its Gategate. Some folk!

Agreed!

@Tal45 if you look at the diagram the gate’s smack in front of OP’s house and very clearly his property. And OP said gate didn’t really need doing.
Surely people would be expected to not be thick enough to paint something that would obviously change the front of someone else’s property without asking...? Especially if it matches another houses’ door colour

Wow, just read through this whole thread and the amount of catty/unhelpful responses by people has really got my back up. Clearly people are reading the headlines, jumping to conclusions, making assumptions and not actually reading everything that’s been laid out.

I don’t see what people are finding so hard to understand here. The OP’s neighbour has painted part of the OP’s property without their permission or evening mentioning it to them. For me this is not a matter of opinion it’s a matter of right or wrong. And what the neighbour has done is wrong.

For the people saying “be grateful for something you couldn’t be bothered to do” “you should have painted it first”- the OP has said the gate did not need painting. It had been painted within the last year. This is not an issue of touching up a bit of paint, the neighbour has changed the colour and thus the look of the front of the OP’s home. Even worse the OP has said the neighbour has painted the gate a new colour to match the facade of the neighbours home.

For the people saying “there are worse things in the world” - Yeah there are. But by that logic any thread on MN that isn’t about terminal child cancer also falls into that category

@Tal45

If it needed painting and you didn't want anyone else to paint it then perhaps get in there and paint it first yourself next time? As you didn't paint it and it needed it I don't blame them for just getting on and doing it. I expect they just had some left over paint going spare and thought they were doing everyone a favour. But if you want to look like a miserable bastard who thinks things should be done his way - but doesn't actually bother to do it, just moans about it when other people do - then go ahead and complain.

@Tal45 You are making assumptions all of which the OP has already addressed. You are making negative assumptions to the OP but positive assumptions about the neighbour. I hope someone changes the colour of your house without telling you and then calls you a miserable bastard when you don't like it!

@TheCastingVote

Wow, just read through this whole thread and the amount of catty/unhelpful responses by people has really got my back up. Clearly people are reading the headlines, jumping to conclusions, making assumptions and not actually reading everything that’s been laid out.

I don’t see what people are finding so hard to understand here. The OP’s neighbour has painted part of the OP’s property without their permission or evening mentioning it to them. For me this is not a matter of opinion it’s a matter of right or wrong. And what the neighbour has done is wrong.

For the people saying “be grateful for something you couldn’t be bothered to do” “you should have painted it first”- the OP has said the gate did not need painting. It had been painted within the last year. This is not an issue of touching up a bit of paint, the neighbour has changed the colour and thus the look of the front of the OP’s home. Even worse the OP has said the neighbour has painted the gate a new colour to match the facade of the neighbours home.

For the people saying “there are worse things in the world” - Yeah there are. But by that logic any thread on MN that isn’t about terminal child cancer also falls into that category

Yes, this.

And also what pp said about U.K. psyche and all the passive aggressive nonsense rather than just talking openly and politely about things. It doesn’t have to be a ‘row’ and tbh if anybody should be blamed for causing a row it should be the party who made changes to joint property without asking.

@devastating

What's fascinating about this thread is how many people want to kick the OP for caring about something which in dozens of previous threads on here would have been seen as a legitimate concern.

I think it’s based on the desire to be contrary and dismissive/unkind - doesn’t matter what the issue is .

I agree with this totally.

I also don’t understand who truly owns the passageway. I get the floating freehold above. But doesn’t address ownership below. Or the ownership of the piece of land / garden in front of the gate.

I already thought you yanbu but having seen the pic even more so!

Is it the house on the left as you are looking at them that has painted the gate? They are trying to make it look like theirs and they need to be pushed back.

All those saying it doesn't matter. It does. It can be the beginning of a boundary issue and needs nipping in the bud.

Don't buy them anything as a thank you! Big mistake. Point out, in a friendly way, that the gate is yours and they are not to paint it.

(And then I would paint it to match my front door because no bloody way is someone grabbing my property!)

It sounds like they wanted to make it look like theirs and I wouldn't be happy about it.

I know people are saying these things don't matter, don't worry about it but other people will take the piss and claim things as theirs when they aren't. This can be where it starts.

I agree with this. It had only been painted a year ago, so was highly unlikely to need repainting. I think the new neighbour is wanting to assert their perceived authority and is probably the sort you want to watch out for. They definitely didn't see a job that needed doing and just get on with doing it - they went right ahead and made a change that they wanted. I'm not one of those who thinks that new neighbours should have fewer rights e.g. "the old couple who lived there before for 30 years didn't have a car, so the man from number 17 parked on the road outside their house, so it's 'his' space and you can never use it" - but it's outrageous to just move in and start making changes to communal/other people's property without asking/mentioning it to them. That sounds like the actions of the tiresome self-appointed 'road/village/community leaders', although they have at least normally lived there for a long time and know the score.

It might be a genuine misunderstanding, or it might even be that the estate agent lied to them and said it was theirs; however it could be that they're obstinate and/or dim and have extrapolated that 'this is the gate to our property' = 'this is OUR gate'. We see enough threads on here about shared drives and the like, where this is clearly the case: some people are too stupid or selfish to realise that 'this is ours' but it's also just as much theirs.

That said, I'm not convinced that the gate is actually shared - it seems to be your gate. They own the access rights but may well have no claim whatsoever on the gate.

I think those calling you boring, telling you to get a life, wishing they had similar 'non-problems' etc. are being quite naive. Apart from it sounding like it is YOUR gate - so how would the neighbour like it if you just arbitrarily went and painted his front door a very different colour (or even repainted it unnecessarily in the same colour)?

I wouldn't make a big fuss about it, but I would go over and make it clear that, whilst you have no objections whatsoever to their right of way, you're not happy that he painted YOUR gate, so please don't do something like that again. Don't add 'without asking/checking first' as he shouldn't be doing it at all. If you say nothing, they'll take it as acknowledgment that they can do what they want, maybe even use it against you in future in any access/land grabs: "Well, if it had been their gate, as they seem to think, and not mine, surely they would have objected when I painted my gate shortly after I moved in". I'd keep a very close eye on this one.

You don't in any way sound like the sort to go in ranting and screaming at them, but equally don't feel awkward for raising it and firmly pointing out that he was wrong to do so. He's the one who decided to create the awkwardness and not you.

Remember, this is how all CFs operate, by trying to make you feel too awkward to challenge their outrageous behaviour, which usually goes on to escalate.

You've already lost the right to private enjoyment of your own back garden, just because somebody way back didn't design the row of houses in a sensible way, apportioning the plot space to enable each house to access their own garden on their own land. That would be irritating enough.

Your wife sounds kind, but she possibly hasn't thought through what this could potentially turn into if you get into the habit of never saying anything for fear of seeming petty.

I agree with the above also, and this might be a stretch but if you speak to people who have had boundary issues/neighbour disputes they all started somewhere, if he starts treating the gate as his own how long before he decides it should have a lock? Or he replaces the lock?

FFS, it's a gate.

If it looks ok, then who cares? In a years time when it needs redone just do it whatever colour you fancy.

@UrAWizHarry

FFS, it's a gate.

If it looks ok, then who cares? In a years time when it needs redone just do it whatever colour you fancy.

No...that is not how mutual respect works.

@RikkiT I really think you should check your deeds.

3-way share is barmy. 1 owner, 2 rights of access more likely

@UrAWizHarry

FFS, it's a gate.

If it looks ok, then who cares? In a years time when it needs redone just do it whatever colour you fancy.

No it isn't just just a gate, in all likelihood it is the OPs property and you may feel differently but I like to make decisions about my property myself.

I did thing meh...but seeing the diagram I think it's a bit cheeky. Especially as it matches their door and it looks like the gate is actually more attached to your house so by rights should match the door. Fuck em go out and decoupage it at stupid o'clock with some random shit.

The OP has stated it's joint ownership. Yeah, maybe the neighbour should have asked but the fact is in a year or two it will need doing again and life is too short to have arguments about such petty shit.

Our neighbour painted a joint fence a slightly different shade of green last summer. I shrugged my shoulders and thought "well, that saves me doing it".

Can't help but think if think if 'wife' had been changed to 'husband' here there would be a lot of people saying OP should assert themselves more and def speak to neighbours to make sure that any future changes to gate are consulted on.

I’d check your deeds because I suspect it’s one owner (you) and shared access. I’d be making that clear before they decide the alleyway is a useful storage area for them to use

It seems people are assuming the OP is a man? Did I miss that? I know OP has a wife but I'm still imaging OP as a woman!