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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour has changed the colour of jointly owned access gate

269 replies

RikkiT · 29/04/2021 17:42

I live in a terraced house and my 2 adjoining neighbours have access via my garden to the street for things like taking their bins out. There is a single gate onto the street that connects to a alleyway in my garden for myself and my 2 neighbours to use.

Today my neighbour has painted the jointly owned gate without consulting myself or our other neighbour. The gate was white and has been painted black.

Regardless if it "needed painting" or "looks better" in principle my neighbour should have consulted me and my other neighbour first right?

It more the principle that they have done it without checking in first. If it had been kept the same colour I may have overlooked it as it it. something we are all jointly responsible for.

Would It be unreasonable of me to confront my neighbour and ask why they didn't consult me and my neighbour first?

My wife seems to think it will cause more hassle than it's worth.

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 29/04/2021 21:54

I agree with @TheLastLotus.
I think you should say something in a friendly tone about it, along the lines of “in future, please check with me and other neighbor before you paint shared property”

DotsandCo · 29/04/2021 22:09

This is not really the hill I'd choose to die on 🤷‍♀️

TheNestedIf · 29/04/2021 22:24

I had a lot of trouble with a previous neighbour who had form for trying to take ownership of property to which they only had right of access. It was a case of give them an inch, they would take a light-year. Your neighbour's behaviour would immediately get my back up and put me on alert because either he thinks that gate is his or he doesn't care that communal property is not his.

Confirm from the deeds who the gate belongs to and who only has access. If it's yours, make sure he knows that and paint it back to the colour you want..

jelly79 · 29/04/2021 22:25

Really odd that this would bother you. Enough to notice. And then start a thread. But to then buy them beer and ask them not to do it again is all kinds of odd.

Original poster
RikkiT · 29/04/2021 22:37

@jelly79

Really odd that this would bother you. Enough to notice. And then start a thread. But to then buy them beer and ask them not to do it again is all kinds of odd.
What's so odd about it?
  • I don't think they should have changed something that is shared ownership without consulting the other owners first. My view on that hasn't changed
  • I want to to approach the topic in the nicest way possible as maybe they did it with good intentions, hence buying a bottle of wine to say "thanks for doing it"
  • I posted in here to get opinions and am acting based on the majority of the advice given. Isn't that what these threads are for?
OP posts:
TheLastLotus · 29/04/2021 22:41

All the posters saying they wouldn’t care etc etc have clearly never had to deal with border disputes. These things can come back to cause trouble much later e.g when you want to sell.
Of course if you never sell your house or your neighbours move anyway then it’ll never happen 😂
@RikkiT speak to your neighbour. At least you’ll get a sense of whether they’re CF’s or not

SpiderinaWingMirror · 29/04/2021 22:44

For the love of God.
It was a bit shabby.
It needed painting.
It was painted.
Maybe say thank you.

maddening · 29/04/2021 22:47

So it looks like an alleyway under a floating freehold? Do you own the area above the gate? If so then the gate would visually be part of your front face of the house and you should be able to match it to your house Imo.

Original poster
RikkiT · 29/04/2021 22:49

@maddening

So it looks like an alleyway under a floating freehold? Do you own the area above the gate? If so then the gate would visually be part of your front face of the house and you should be able to match it to your house Imo.
Yes to all of the above
OP posts:
SciFiScream · 29/04/2021 22:50

I think it might actually be your gate!

Kangaroobill · 29/04/2021 22:54

The diagram changes things. YANBU

Kangaroobill · 29/04/2021 22:55

@SpiderinaWingMirror

For the love of God. It was a bit shabby. It needed painting. It was painted. Maybe say thank you.
Disappointed this wasn’t a poem.
BluePheasant · 29/04/2021 22:57

I think if this really bothers you than living somewhere where there is a shared access is not the house for you.

Just say thank you and next time it needs painting it will be your turn.

Gobbeldegook · 29/04/2021 23:15

Well next time it's your turn, so you can paint it like Mr blobby and let them complain about you.

GiveMeNovocain · 29/04/2021 23:33

Get some paint and paint the portion you own in your preferred colour. That'll teach them.

Inaquandry19 · 29/04/2021 23:42

I would be delighted not to have to paint it myself 🤷‍♀️

greenlynx · 30/04/2021 00:26

You are not in minority OP. The general advice on MN usually is to be assertive in property issues.
I would be a bit suspicious about their decision to paint the gates. The only time I would paint any gates if I was thinking they were mine. Considering that they are new neighbours they might get wrong idea about ownership of the gates. So I would check my deeds carefully, ask why they paint the gates and explain the situation.
I wouldn’t take the bottle, it looks a bit too much, just be nice and polite.

Lots of PPs said “Why bother? I would love someone to paint my gates, fence, doors etc” No, you wouldn’t.

Anordinarymum · 30/04/2021 00:42

My last house was a mid terrace. We had a passageway between our house and next door. I had some outbuildings joined onto my house to create a utility room and the access from the passageway was blocked off, but the passageway was still accessible until my new neighbour put a gate on the end and drilled into my house to attach it. He also put a lock on it so I could not open it.
The flue for my boiler was on the outside wall and the plumber could not get to it so I had to ask the neighbour to open it up.
To my shock and surprise he had erected shelving which was attached to my house (he had drilled into the walls)where he stored canoes and other stuff and he was using the passageway as a storage room for his junk (mainly wood) which was a fire hazard.
I had to ask him to stop and he argued with me that he had asked for my husband's permission to do it ( my husband had left me ages before)
He provided me with a key to the door and cleared the way.
I think some people just want to be clever about things.

Charleymouse · 30/04/2021 01:02

YANBU
They should have asked first.

KM38 · 30/04/2021 01:23

@RikkiT If I were you and they’ve made a good job of it then I’d just leave it. And think yourself lucky you don’t have my neighbours 😬

2 flats in building (above shops) so shared front door into the close/stairway leading to our properties. My neighbour took it upon himself during lockdown 1 to paint the entire close/stairway, all metal railings on the banister and our joint front door with no mention of it to us at all (DH was offshore working. I was in bed with severe morning sickness 🤢 so didn’t leave the house for a few days - I was aware of him clattering around in the hallway but he’s always tinkering around with his bikes etc out there so noise is not unusual). Changed the whole stairway to slate grey when it had been nice and light. Painted straight onto gloss paint without doing any prep so it peels as soon as you touch it 😐 and painted over our beautiful sage green front door with brass hardware in Railings by Farrow and Ball 😭 he used the wrong primer and paint (something to do with oil/water based etc) and it went horrifically patchy and had to be redone. Painted completely over all the brass hardware - numbers/letterbox etc 😬

The first I knew of all of this was when I found a handwritten itemised bill posted through my door one morning when I woke up 😳 he wanted £300 from us for “our share” 😐😐 he’d even billed me for the wrong paint and primer he’d used. He had a very hormonal pregnant woman at his door that morning after I seen the mess he’d made 😓 I couldn’t believe it!

OwlBeThere · 30/04/2021 01:29

I would be inclined to think they either just didn’t realise it is shared property or that that we’re painting, thought it could do with a paint job and just did it without thinking too much about it. I would say in a ‘by the way’ sort of way next time you see them that usually we discuss between us any work that needs doing on it. And then let it go.

Parkerwhereareyou · 30/04/2021 01:58

@RikkiT

It's something that we jointly own. In my opinion, anything that is done on something that I have part ownership of, I should be consulted on. Especially as it changes the look of my home. I know I would have consulted my neighbour first if I wanted to change the colour.

Yes. I can't believe anyone is saying any thing different.

As this neighbour has recently moved in, I think you and the other should say hi, thanks and btw we consult on joint property so please do so in future.

CrisisManagement · 30/04/2021 02:15

I disagree with the others.
Your neighbour definitely should have asked. It's overstepping to paint something that is not yours. What next?
I certainly would be saying something.

BasiliskStare · 30/04/2021 02:16

Well as others have said

If they have done this at their own expense and it looks nice - then thank them for painting shared gate

If it is shared and not all neighbours like it - different.

If it is your gate and you do not like it - again different discussion - paint it whatever colour you like

I'd be more concerned if they had painted it orange, For some reason Orange is just not my thing..

indiakulfi · 30/04/2021 03:07

It's a gate. If that's the extent of your worries then count your blessings.

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