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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour has changed the colour of jointly owned access gate

269 replies

RikkiT · 29/04/2021 17:42

I live in a terraced house and my 2 adjoining neighbours have access via my garden to the street for things like taking their bins out. There is a single gate onto the street that connects to a alleyway in my garden for myself and my 2 neighbours to use.

Today my neighbour has painted the jointly owned gate without consulting myself or our other neighbour. The gate was white and has been painted black.

Regardless if it "needed painting" or "looks better" in principle my neighbour should have consulted me and my other neighbour first right?

It more the principle that they have done it without checking in first. If it had been kept the same colour I may have overlooked it as it it. something we are all jointly responsible for.

Would It be unreasonable of me to confront my neighbour and ask why they didn't consult me and my neighbour first?

My wife seems to think it will cause more hassle than it's worth.

OP posts:
diddl · 30/04/2021 17:13

[quote Nanny0gg]**@RikkiT* I really* think you should check your deeds.

3-way share is barmy. 1 owner, 2 rights of access more likely[/quote]
That's what I think.

If I've understood, the gate leads into OP's property, not his neighbours.

They have access, but it doesn't make it theirs!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 30/04/2021 17:35

Yes - they should have painted just a third of it and left the rest scruffy.
FFS.

Weareallvirgins · 30/04/2021 17:35

Wow life is hard

Cissyandflora · 30/04/2021 17:37

@Weareallvirgins

Wow life is hard
Yes it is. And neighbour disputes make things even harder.
TheGoodEnoughWife · 30/04/2021 17:49

@Weareallvirgins

Wow life is hard
What a silly comment. Life can be really hard if your home, which should be your sanctuary, is subject to difficult neighbourhood disputes.
Mummadeze · 30/04/2021 17:55

Honestly if my neighbour did this I would just think how nice that they did it without asking me for money for the paint! Maybe they didn’t realise that you would mind. Since you do, I would say something nicely re discussing things in future. But definitely not in a confrontational way.

granniesbonnet · 30/04/2021 18:11

Ffs get a life

Menschenskind · 30/04/2021 18:17

Ffs get a life

Is that the best you can do, ten pages in?

Alis25 · 30/04/2021 18:38

YANBU but probably best to leave it. Not worth falling out with a neighbour over.

Kittysummer · 30/04/2021 18:39

I can understand where you are coming from, it would have been nice to have been consulted.

LovelyIssues · 30/04/2021 18:41

I agree with your wife. And possibly have too much time on your hands

Myfriendsays · 30/04/2021 18:57

Why is everyone so confrontational. They probably thought it would be a nice thing to do to paint the gate. Yes they should have asked but they probably didnt think anything of it.

Take a look at what is going on in the world and get a life. Its a gate for Gods sake. I am sure all the people in India with Covid would rather have a gate to worry about.

Ninkanink · 30/04/2021 19:01

Looking out for one’s own interests is not confrontational. It’s perfectly fine and acceptable to expect to be consulted on what happens to one’s property, and to calmly and politely assert oneself. Mutual respect goes both ways!

Moelwynbach · 30/04/2021 19:04

Oh my days you didn't have much to worry about.

AlwaysLatte · 30/04/2021 19:12

I'd prefer a neighbour like that to one who doesn't maintain shared gates.

Shell4429 · 30/04/2021 19:14

As Nan would say, What a fucking liberty! I am with you, the act of painting the gate was territorial. They are out of order. I would be inclined to paint over it in neon pink.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/04/2021 19:35

Yeah, maybe the neighbour should have asked but the fact is in a year or two it will need doing again and life is too short to have arguments about such petty shit.

It's either appalling quality paint or a terrible job if it needs redoing in a year or two. But even if it did, the neighbour already has a precedent for having done it (potentially unchallenged), so they could easily do it again and, as PP said, maybe look to putting a lock on it and being the one to look after the key/decide the combination, as 'well, nobody else seems to care about maintaining it'.

Aside from the fact that those saying 'get a life' etc. don't seem to realise that they're on an online chat forum and not a UN steering committee, it's the easiest thing in the world to tell a stranger that wanting to protect their own property and usage rights is 'petty'.

Would any of you genuinely not care if a neighbour just randomly painted your front door or window frames (that didn't need painting), just because they preferred them to be a different colour as they walked past? Maybe they think your house name sign is looking a little tired, so they replace it with a nice new one whilst you're out - and also change the name to one they like better whilst they're at it?

It's a very tiresome trope to trot out about other situations being a lot worse, therefore the one in question 'doesn't matter at all' - and one with potentially very serious ramifications.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/04/2021 19:37

I would be inclined to paint over it in neon pink.

The neighbour's car, I presume you mean!!!

Ginuwine · 30/04/2021 19:40

@Ninkanink

Looking out for one’s own interests is not confrontational. It’s perfectly fine and acceptable to expect to be consulted on what happens to one’s property, and to calmly and politely assert oneself. Mutual respect goes both ways!

/endthread

lanbro · 30/04/2021 19:41

I'd be pleased someone else had dealt with the gate!

Buffs · 30/04/2021 20:00

Presumably he didn’t charge for time or materials. If it looks ok I’d be pleased.

Nanny0gg · 30/04/2021 20:02

@granniesbonnet

Ffs get a life
Could say the same to you really
Yogalola · 30/04/2021 20:04

It’s a gate, and it’s saved you and the other neighbour a job.

Nanny0gg · 30/04/2021 20:04

God there's some arses on this thread.

Why don't you all go back to your terribly important concerns and leave the OP alone?

TheGoodEnoughWife · 30/04/2021 20:14

Excellent post @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
(Plus great name!)

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