Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

How would you take someone saying this? It's a Mil one

96 replies

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:18

I have an autistic son with a speech and language delay who is 3. We are taking speech therapy classes to help. I'm trying the techniques everyday, trying to make learning fun and I read books he likes everyday since he was born. I look online for help with new ideas etc.
Mil says are you talking to him, you need to have more conversations - how would you take this?
A) an insult to your intelligence
B) insinuating you are a bad parent (by neglecting your child and never taking to them)
C) unhelpful information from an idiot
D) other

OP posts:

Share

Report

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:20

*talking not taking

OP posts:

Mummyratbag · 29/04/2021 15:20

Annoying, but well meaning advice. Did you post about her and potty training?

RuggerHug · 29/04/2021 15:22

Is she normally a decent person? Because that would play a huge part in what I'd think.

CervixHaver · 29/04/2021 15:24

B!

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:24

Well meaning? But talking to them is the first step isn't it? Who doesn't talk to their child?

OP posts:

Whatisthisfuckery · 29/04/2021 15:24

I’d take it in the same spirit as when something breaks, and somebody asks ‘have you tried turning it off and back on again?’ Stupid and annoying and a bit patronising, but probably not meant to undermine.

KatherineJaneway · 29/04/2021 15:25

D

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 29/04/2021 15:26

If it had been my (now thankfully ex) MIL she would have meant it as B but I would have taken it as C. Because she was an unhelpful idiot

CervixHaver · 29/04/2021 15:26

My Mum is like this, she thinks obvious answers are PROFOUND! She's the only person with a modicum of intelligence don't I know?! (She never ever said that, but it is very much implied)

My child has Autism and I'm often stressing over her extremely limited diet. My Mum's usual response "Well have you tried her with something else?" 😳

merrygoround88 · 29/04/2021 15:27

Well meaning but tactless - I wouldn’t take offence

ShinyGreenElephant · 29/04/2021 15:28

Unless shes generally nasty I would assume option C. Very annoying but probably means well and is just a bit thick. Totally understand your frustration, my DD has a speech delay and that kind of "advice" would NOT be well received, does come across judgemental.

Mummyratbag · 29/04/2021 15:29

Well meaning as in trying to be helpful, but stating the bleeding obvious. That's just what I thought given that you haven't given any background.

CervixHaver · 29/04/2021 15:29

Or "You should be trying her with new things!"

Even worse, I'll get "When you were that age, you ate all sorts" with a faux surprised look

Radio4Rocks · 29/04/2021 15:30

Trying to be helpful and showing she takes an interest. No need for you to be so prickly.

BerniesMittens · 29/04/2021 15:30

C. It's the sort if thing people just say without any real thought and usually without malice.

DinoHat · 29/04/2021 15:32

B&C

My MIL does the same.

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:32

My Mum is like this, she thinks obvious answers are PROFOUND! yeah I don't get why they think stating the obvious is helpful. It's almost like me saying I'm having difficulty playing the drums and their reply is asking if you have bought a drum set

OP posts:

Angrypregnantlady · 29/04/2021 15:32

C

And actual advice I got before my child was even born 🤨 just nod and ignore.

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:35

CervixHaver
When you were that age, you ate all sorts
I also get that with mil saying about DH, but at this age you were talking, super helpful isn't it

OP posts:

Sycamoretrees · 29/04/2021 15:35

D you are completely over reacting. MIL although simplistic is not wrong, talking is very important. She's not an expert, nor has looked in to it as much as you have, but that doesn't make her comment idiotic or offensive. I assume you don't like the women anyway, or perhaps overacting because you're worried about your child (understandable).

PollInLaw · 29/04/2021 15:37

Sycamoretrees but it's the first step? Who wouldn't think to talk to their dc?

OP posts:

Aprilshowersandhail · 29/04/2021 15:38

Imo she thinks you can 'cure' by him taking her advice...

Hankunamatata · 29/04/2021 15:42

Meh prattle without engaging her brain. Smile and nod. You will get far worse

DinoHat · 29/04/2021 15:42

@Sycamoretrees

D you are completely over reacting. MIL although simplistic is not wrong, talking is very important. She's not an expert, nor has looked in to it as much as you have, but that doesn't make her comment idiotic or offensive. I assume you don't like the women anyway, or perhaps overacting because you're worried about your child (understandable).

It infers the OP has, so far, neglected to speak to her child...

DinoHat · 29/04/2021 15:43

@PollInLaw

CervixHaver
When you were that age, you ate all sorts
I also get that with mil saying about DH, but at this age you were talking, super helpful isn't it

My MIL does that and no way can she remember developmental milestones month by month...

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Trending

Mumsnet Shopping

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Continue with Facebook Continue with Google Continue with Apple

Already signed up?