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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what brought you unexpected delight?

97 replies

Daisyroselondon · 28/04/2021 16:00

Hello all, help me fill my up bucket list. We have hit the very painful end of our fertility journey and I need to start thinking positively of the life ahead. Please tell me of all the things / places / experiences that have brought you unexpected joy. Thank you x

OP posts:
Planttrees · 28/04/2021 16:01

Helping people. I semi-retired and got bored so started volunteering and it is the best thing I have ever done.

DinosaurDiana · 28/04/2021 16:01

Planning travel, but mostly my dog.

Cocolapew · 28/04/2021 16:02

My dog.

GalOopNorth · 28/04/2021 16:03

My dog and my chickens. And my garden. Flowers for you xxx

Seeleyboo · 28/04/2021 16:03

Bless you OP. My dogs. Always said I'd never have a dog. Smelly creatures. But my god they're my life. I was given a dog once to look after and I reluctantly agreed and she stayed with me for 10 years. I got 4 more after. I have also recently discovered cooking. Just cooking anything from scratch. Sauces and mayonnaise etc. Hope you find joy.

harknesswitch · 28/04/2021 16:08

I took two weeks out recently in between the lockdowns, hired a camper and did the NC500, it was amazing!

ZaraW · 28/04/2021 16:11

Travel has always bought me joy. One of the highlights is Gorilla trecking in Rwanda and sitting on top of Dune 45 in Namibia watching the sunrise. I've also done volunteering at the Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai Thailand taking care of rescue dogs, which I loved. Hope to return next year.

harknesswitch · 28/04/2021 16:20

That sounds amazing @ZaraW

Daisyroselondon · 28/04/2021 16:27

Oh my gosh, these are making me cry already! How amazing! I love all of these, thank you so much. Sounds like heaven @zaraw And I'm looking up the NC500 @harknesswitch Looking into getting a puppy now :) @Seeleyboo @GalOopNorth @Cocolapew @DinosaurDiana And yes to volunteering too @Planttrees feels like it would fill my heart.

OP posts:
Wabe · 28/04/2021 16:48

I'm so sorry, OP. That's really tough. Give yourself some time, won't you? I once accompanied a friend grieving something on a trip to Venice, where she'd always wanted to go, and she spent the entire time crying in her room -- it was just too soon, and I think she felt worse because she knew she was supposed to be enjoying herself, and it spoiled Venice for her.

Unexpected delights for me -- travelling around India by train, art, learning new things in an area you're passionate about (I'm planning an art history degree), solitude (I spent some time living on an uninhabited island and was incredibly happy there), moving countries just because I felt like a new place, walking semi-long distance routes, living by the sea, running, learning new skills, taking singing lessons.

I don't at all agree with the people on here who say there's no point in expecting a new place to make you happier because you still have to take out the bins and you bring yourself with you -- I think travel is an incredibly healing and mind-widening experience.

I also think that when coming to terms with not having children you should try to be around people who are leading fulfilling lives without them, whether that's by choice or not. I had my son at 40, and have always had a mix of friends with and without children of their own, but only realised when living in a spectacularly conformist and insular village literally everyone had two children and seemed to spend their time mowing the lawn, cleaning the car and ferrying said children about how difficult it would have been to live there without children if you were sad about it. (We were considered anomalous enough as foreigners with only one child.)

Very best wishes to you.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 28/04/2021 16:59

My dog(s) every one I've had has given me joy.

BashfulClam · 28/04/2021 18:12

I hear you, I have also had to make peace with never having children.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 28/04/2021 18:17

My steam mob gives me joy

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 28/04/2021 18:18

So sorry, wrong thread. My pets have been real pleasure OP.

Confusedmeanderings · 29/04/2021 01:45

I've had to make peace with not having children too. As pp have said travel, going where you want and when you want to is great. Art - a passion I only developed late in life. Being able to go out (pre covid) to exhibitions / concerts / theatre without having to think about childcare or whether they were child friendly. Being able to immerse myself in a book all afternoon with no disruptions (unless DH is being a pain!).

Confrontayshunme · 29/04/2021 07:09

My mother took me on a trip around Europe when I finished secondary just the two of us. My favourite stop was Cinque Terre in Italy. It looked like a postcard, everyone was so nice, and even our cheapest meal was delicious. My favourite was when a man pulled a huge lemon off a tree and made me a lemonade on the street on a super hot day. I'll never forget it.

LunaNorth · 29/04/2021 07:15

Definitely my dogs and my garden. Growing and nurturing plants from seed touches a very primal part of me and brings me such peace.

BettysCardigan · 29/04/2021 07:20

A really good camera.

It gives you licence to go trampling around through the countryside, it gives purpose to your walks, and the photography community on Instagram is lovely and supportive.

StressB · 29/04/2021 07:23

Green & Blacks dark chocolate.
My dog.
My cross trainer.

StressB · 29/04/2021 07:29

I should have read the full op. Blush

It's true that G&B dark chocolate has brought me delight during the darkest lockdown days but on a less shallow level, for me, pets, travelling e.g. learning to cook in Italy and writing short stories are very fulfilling.

Thanks
vampirethriller · 29/04/2021 07:37

My allotment
My dog, although she's a dickhead, she's my dickhead and I love her.

Sparklingbrook · 29/04/2021 07:37

My cat, volunteering.

PegasusReturns · 29/04/2021 07:41

Volunteering gives me a sense of purpose beyond working for financial gain, although I enjoy and find my paid work very fulfilling too.

I’m not a pet person really so can’t speak for that but I have had enormous pleasure from my garden this year - which was totally unexpected.

HarrietYeti · 29/04/2021 07:43

Sending you much love OP, that must be a terrible weight on you.

On a positive note I have to be a dissenting note to all the dog lovers and say my cats! We have three, they bring us joy every day. They are hilarious and affectionate and enormously comforting when you are down. I wouldn't be without them.

I second going travelling, we travelled quite when we were younger and loved it.

My colleague and her partner (in their mid fifties) decided not to have children and she seems to have a wonderfully busy and full life. They seem to have a large friendship group and are often away with friends or out socialising. Incidentally they don't have pets (her partner doesn't like cats (the fool!) but she seems to have lots of contact with her neighbours' cats who know a soft touch when they see one Grin).

MojoJojo71 · 29/04/2021 07:43

Definitely travelling. Seeing incredible places like the Himalayas at dawn can make everything else feel insignificant, if only for a moment.

Also being part of a choir has been wonderful. I joined Rock choir a couple of years ago, I’ve really missed it during lockdown and can’t wait to go back. It’s very uplifting and I’ve made some lovely friends.

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