To ask what brought you unexpected delight?

[Daisyroselondon]

Hello all, help me fill my up bucket list. We have hit the very painful end of our fertility journey and I need to start thinking positively of the life ahead. Please tell me of all the things / places / experiences that have brought you unexpected joy. Thank you x

My pedigree cats (I have ragdolls and a Norwegian forest cat).
Learning how to knit socks.
Bernat blanket yarn for crochet blankets.
I've recently adopted a dog, a tiny long haired chihuahua boy. I've never been a dog person but he is the best. He barks yes but he is so sweet, and he has helped my anxiety so much. I love making him jumpers and buying different patterned harnesses and leads. He is so pampered and even sleeps in the bed with me. I wouldn't even smooth a dog before I got him. He has changed my life.

Exercise - I kick box with a club owned and run by women (although the classes are mixed). It's really supportive and friendly, but also has a great endorphin high! I am not a natural athlete by any stretch of the imagination - I am a somewhat plump 40 year old - but the joy I get out of it has really surprised me. It's been a real lifesaver during months of lockdown.

Also gardening and cooking/baking - things where I get really unexpected pleasure from it all going well! Again, I never thought I'd be a gardener.

We went through this OP and I can tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It's taken a few years (and of course we have the occasional twinge of longing or "what if"), but honestly, we generally lead happy, fulfilled lives.

We love each other's company, have lots of peace and quiet when we want it, likewise hobbies, exercise and alone time. We can't afford travel yet, but we're lucky enough to have good health, a nice home and enough money to get by. We're happy and silly and life is good.

Right now though, this is years ahead and I probably wouldn't have thought it possible at your stage. All you can do is survive the waves of grief you will be dealing with - take care, look after yourself, and stay connected with each other.

Sorry your IVF journey wasn't a success. I had IVF (and all the rest) years after my son was born and had to stop because we came to the conclusion it wasn't going to work, sadly.

It took a long time to come to terms with that and we went through a period of grief, despite having had 1 baby.

Open water swimming or dipping brings me joy. I'd love to get a campervan, a dog, a cat and travel round the country wild camping and wild (skinny) dipping. Good luck OP, I hope you find your joy ❤

Volunteering. I used to spend an afternoon a week helping at the food bank/resource centre and it brought me a sense of purpose and introduced me to so many wonderful people.

Singing in a choir.

Escaping all by myself to the coast and holing up in an annexe with just a good book (Atonement). I walked and slept and sat in the sun.

Audio books.

Probably not quite what you’re expecting to hear but:
We went on holiday to Mexico and had a villa (in the hotel grounds) which included an outdoor shower. Not something I’d ever before fancied (bugs etc), but it was fabulous - I really loved it.
Wishing you lots of future happiness

I had to come to terms with my infertility about 17 years ago. We spent a year embracing being childfree as opposed to feeling childless and did lots of amazing travel - not just during that year but each time an IVF cycle failed we booked a holiday to get over it.

Eventually we realised that all the luxury travel in the world would not take away our sadness so we adopted. I know it's not the answer for everyone.

Unexpected delight came from - the long term group of close friends we made at our adoption preparation workshop. They are more like family now and our shared experience has bonded us for life.

Also

Camping - it was my idea of hell before I actually tried it and am now a massive camping bore.

Cruises - also my worse nightmare until my in laws took us on an all expenses paid family cruise for their anniversary. Got off the ship and immediately booked another cruise for the following year.

Beach huts - had never thought much about them but a good friend owns one and we've been lucky enough to spend a lot of time there and each time I just feel so relaxed and happy. Hired one for a week a few summers ago and loved every second we were there. Am now on the waiting list to buy one.

Ascot - my heart sank when a friend announced her birthday celebration was to be there. I dutifully bought my dress and hat and prepared to endure it. I was so wrong. Friend had booked a table for the whole day in one of the restaurants and it was a fabulous and enjoyable day. Can't wait for an excuse to do it again.

Lots of other experiences have delighted me but I knew they would before we did them so they don't count!

Travel, garden, resteraunts, running/hiking ......and church singing

Hillwalking, I never would have thought I could climb a mountain but I love it! The sense of achievement, being out in nature, doing something physical with purpose, it's very empowering.

Also photography, I took a night class in 2019 and I loved it. It's a really interesting and creative hobby, especially if traditional 'arty' things are a bit beyond you like they are for me.

On a day to day basis - my cats.

Bellringing - started an a whim a few years ago and have made the most wonderful group of friends through it.
Feeding and watching the birds
Dogs and dog walks
Gardening
Volunteering

Our Cockapoo, he genuinely is the most wonderful boy. We got him after we lost our baby, and I cannot express the difference he's made to all of us.
We also got a kitten just before Christmas (found half dead from cold in the middle of nowhere by the Amazon man whose next stop we happened to be) and that sense of saving something has really helped me too. Never been a cat person, but seeing him thrive and purr when he walks into the room and sees I'm there, it makes me feel like I'm needed and I've made a difference to something.

I'm so sorry OP, that must be a tough one to bear.

I'm 48 and have no children by choice - I get joy from my dog, from cultivating and nurturing stuff in the garden, growing things, making stuff! I'm not in the least vain but I've made a hobby out of doing my own gel nails - perfecting it as a craft, experimenting with colours and nail art. Intricate but satisfying.

Sadly I'm shit at cooking...

Dog, learning to play the piano, singing in a relaxed choir, walking with friends, exploring London and learning about art in a non academic way (guided tours), travel, swimming, Pilates.

I wish you well.

OMG I can’t believe I forgot my garden!!! I adore my garden.

My cat. Both me and my husband are so shocked by how much we love him and how much he loves us. He's just amazing.

Places- I was very shocked with how much I loved Canada it's beautiful there. Same with Africa

Defo my doggo - he’s changed my life. He and my cats get a lot of maternal love and affection showered on them! I also do volunteering - for pet charities and also in my local prison with male offenders, and some teaching English to people who have newly come to live here. I also have great friends - a number of whom are child free too - and we go away together if our partners are busy (or even if they are not…)

My cat - I never ever saw myself as a cat owner, but my husband has always had cats and loves them. He is an endless source of joy.

Outdoor swimming, always makes me feel amazing.

We took a trip to Costa Rica just before lockdown started and it was such an amazing, beautiful place - so much lovely wildlife and such a cool, varied landscape.

Cooking new and exciting dishes from around the world. So satisfying to make something delicious and different.

Yoga in the garden on a sunny day.

Handsewing leather. Outdoor swimming. Taking photos of seaside towns (I second getting a really good camera).

Sorry about the end of your journey, OP.

In terms of travel memories, my highlights would be:

• visiting Antarctica after a looong time planning. It felt a privilege to see all of the wildlife up close and personal. I even did the ‘polar plunge’ and jumped into the sea on Christmas Eve.
• The Shewedagon temple in Myanmar by night was stunning.
• climbing Sydney Harbour bridge.

The thing that has made me ridiculously happy today was having teddy bear crumpets for breakfast!

My dog. He is a total twat but I love him to bits.

I think I’m reaching the end of my relationship so I too am looking forward to things I want to do for myself. Walking is one of the things that is I love - in sunshine preferably.

My cat
Dog walking for a rescue, can be sociable too and meet with people or solo walks
The beach. Even in winter I just find the sea so calming and it makes me incredibly happy
Horse riding. My horse died in 2019 and I miss it so much, it's an incredible way to see the countryside if you have somewhere that does treks near you
Pole fitness and aerial hoop. So much fun! Usually a great supportive atmosphere too

I cycled across the Hebrides it was literally one of the best times of my life. We did it in April, beautiful enormous skies, wild landscape fascinating amazing part of the world. Being on my bike every day for two weeks just carrying one change of clothes and a book! It lifted my soul.

IN fact, if you don't know Scotland well, just go and spend ages there, walking, sailing, sitting in beautiful pubs with amazing views. Best place in the world and will make all worldly worries seem smaller as its such a big space!

And btw. v sorry you have suffered with fertility problems.

My pet ducks..