Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think either men or their exes are lying about orgasms?!

102 replies

samosamo · 27/04/2021 15:59

So, just listened to today's womans hour - bear with me! All about how only 20% of woman orgasms through vaginally sex alone. I knew this, but the conversation reminded me of conversations I've before when the man has said to me 'but all the women I've slept with before you have (because I so truly refuse to pretend, I think pretending will get neither of us anywhere if a mutual outcome is what were after!).

So, AIBU to think it's either the men, or the women they have been with, who are fibbing??!! Which do you think? (Unless of course, it's true and these men are just mr lover lover guys!!!)

OP posts:
Dollywilde · 27/04/2021 16:04

I think women fake it a lot and often guys know that on some level but don’t want to question it. I don’t with DH but I did in my dim and distant past occasionally, despite knowing it wouldn’t resolve anything and wasn’t the helpful thing to do Blush

TheGoogleMum · 27/04/2021 16:10

I think a lot of women fake it. I am not a faker myself, I usually have one but not always and if I don't DH is disappointed (he feels like hes failed but!) but there's always next time, no point pretending I had one if I didn't

LimeCoconut · 27/04/2021 16:14

It’s women lying imo.

My ex told me there was something wrong with me not being able to climax from penetrative sex because every single one of his exes could 🤣

When I told him the stats he thought he must have just been really good in bed.

The irony was that he was by far the worst I’d been with and for the entire relationship he was so lazy and selfish in bed he literally never once got me there. Not nice.

People really should avoid faking it, it just means you keep getting more of the same stuff that isn’t working for you. But on the other hand I understand there are many complex reasons why somebody might feel the need to.

VladmirsPoutine · 27/04/2021 16:16

I think it's mainly women lying for a peaceful life. Also, I think as long as men get off their not really that concerned about whether or not your orgasm.

merryhouse · 27/04/2021 16:18

"well, not faking exactly, just giving them a bit of encouragement... so much better than up a bit... down a bit... no dear, that's your own thumb"

Tothemoonandbackx · 27/04/2021 16:23

@merryhouse dying at this comment!!!! 😂😂 good thing there's no one in the shop to hear me giggling, lol Xx

Macncheeseballs · 27/04/2021 16:26

I've never had a man say that to me, if he did I would tell him to sling his hook

Tothemoonandbackx · 27/04/2021 16:30

I've never faked it, I just don't see the point in lying, but then again, for me, the big O isn't what I'm always after, I like the intimacy of sex most of the time, and sometimes I haven't had the massive explosions, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sex all the same Xx

ThornAmongstRoses · 27/04/2021 16:31

Women fake it all the time.

Elmo311 · 27/04/2021 16:40

I have faked it for previous partners. I'm quite specific in how I like to be touched, clitoris wise haha and they never get it right or they get cramp!
So I just couldn't be bothered. Also, sometimes I want them to orgasm quickly and pretending that I have always helps.

With my current partner who I am about to marry, he knows what he's doing. So I eventually made sure one did!

Ginevere · 27/04/2021 16:42

Used to fake it with my ex for an easy life!

Realised that was doing myself a massive disservice, so never faked it with my now DH. He was a virgin before he met me so used to really persist in trying to ‘get me there’ with penetration despite me telling him it’s rare. He managed it a few times, but always wore himself out massively, so now he just gives me oral every time. Not complaining! Grin

ShirleyPhallus · 27/04/2021 16:44

Everyone doesn’t rely on men though, do they?

I can’t think of anything worse than lying there in silence, being annoyed / disappointed that the man hasn’t quite hit the spot and then not taking matters in to your own hands, as it were.

bunglebee · 27/04/2021 16:46

I think it's a perfect storm of both. Lots of women fake (especially if the man is hopeless/ won't take feedback), lots of men are completely ignorant about how women climax.

Osirus · 27/04/2021 16:49

I’ve never faked it. My DH would definitely know! And he knows what he’s doing so I’ve no need to even if I was that way inclined. Grin

I mean, why would you? You’re never going to make it enjoyable for yourself if you pretend every time.

Disclaimer: I can understand why someone would on the very odd occasion, but regularly? No way. You get nothing out of it unless you’re on your way out of the relationship anyway.

noforcen · 27/04/2021 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

thighsin · 27/04/2021 17:00

The problem is that they are educated by porn. Quite often in porn the clitoris may as well. It exist and the women are chucking themselves around screaming at the amazing orgasm achieved by just pumping away.

thighsin · 27/04/2021 17:00

Not exist

thighsin · 27/04/2021 17:01

I have felt guilty for how long it takes but I'm just a normal woman and that's how it is. Mind you I can be super fast on my own!

Peppaismyrolemodel · 27/04/2021 17:02

@merryhouse

"well, not faking exactly, just giving them a bit of encouragement... so much better than up a bit... down a bit... no dear, that's your own thumb"
🤣🤦‍♀️
LilMidge01 · 27/04/2021 17:03

I'm sorry, a man actually said to you "but all the women I've slept with before you have" in what seems like an accusatory tone?! I presume you immediately threw him out and never let him see you naked again? Or at least told him all your ex's lasted for hours and you're surprised at how quick he is. Jeez..what a knob

Queenoftheashes · 27/04/2021 17:04

I don’t get why anyone would fake it. How embarrassing. I just say nothing is going to happen. I’m sure the men hate me for it but whatever. They don’t fake it.

Happypigc · 27/04/2021 17:08

I think there are plenty of men who want women to orgasm and are keen to get them there. I wouldn't stay with someone who wasn't interested in my pleasure. I think they find it an ego boost to make a woman orgasm anyway, ime. The ones who believe fake orgasms have probably never known a real one.

Magnificentmug12 · 27/04/2021 17:13

Women fake it. For so many varied reasons.

Mintjulia · 27/04/2021 17:14

I made the mistake of telling one of my exes that PiV wasn't enough for me. He took mortal offence and then every time after that was a marathon session to prove me wrong, with interrogation every 4 minutes and bristling with outraged pride. Just exhausting Grin Grin

1forAll74 · 27/04/2021 17:20

A lot of men think that they are truly great at sex, and would tell you that the other wife, or other women, have always been especially pleased with their sexual prowess., when in fact they are rubbish, and have no idea how to truly please a woman. They are not going to go around saying they are rubbish of course, it's just a man thing to make themselves sound good. As if anyone cares about their sex activities.

I have known a good few women over the years,who mostly fake it, they may still love their partners, but don't find them sexuality attractive anymore, so just grin and bare it, and go along for the ride, to nowhere !

Swipe left for the next trending thread