A sexist remark or am I overreacting?

[temporarychangedusername]

I was attending a couple of days ago quite a specialised course (STEM area) and a topic of the importance of communication came up. It is indeed an area where many people lack "softer" skills - i.e. they can do the technical bits, but can't then explain the significance of results to a non-specialist.

The lecturer said "I always say to my students - you need to be able to explain it in such simple terms so that your mum could understand".
It rubbed me the wrong way a little bit. Why not "that your dad could understand"? The audience (as much as I could tell from the online meeting) was indeed young (early 20s) and overwhelmingly male, but there were a few of old hags (and mums) like myself attending as well, and a couple of younger women too.
I am not the one to be mortally offended by any slip of the tongue, but would I be unreasonable to ping a private message to the lecturer to suggest that may be there could be a better analogy he could use next time? Or would it be totally OTT?

I agree! Not okay. What a dick

I agree. It’s every day sexism and it needs to stop. If nobody speaks up, it will continue to exist.

It's everyday sexism, and even more compounding in a male dominated field.

That would have fucked me right off. Definitely say something.

I think it would be OTT to e-mail tbh. It wasn't the best of remarks but not hideously so.

I'd be offended by that. It's not just sexism, but ageism too. I see a load of it on Twitter. Humorous remarks about 'mums' and their foibles. And also the most patronising guff about mums who say or do anything that their self-absorbed children loftily regard as unsusually progressive/coherent etc for a mum.

As if we check in our humanity and our intellect swhen we expel the ungrateful little bleeders from our silly wombs.

Not only sexist but ageist as well. Would have pissed me off greatly. Definitely complain.

Your being totally OTT and overly sensitive

@VladmirsPoutine

I think it would be OTT to e-mail tbh. It wasn't the best of remarks but not hideously so.

Yes, I don't mean that I am gasping in horror here. It is just that I definitely noticed the remark, probably it was amplified even more by my already existing impostor syndrome - and the lecturer could be genuinely blind as to how it could be perceived by a part of his audience.

I don't know, I used to have a psychology lecturer who did get his mum to read his exam questions on the ground that she may not be able to answer them, but if she couldn't understand the question, he'd failed to be clear enough. It's a valid enough point.

@Random789

I'd be offended by that. It's not just sexism, but ageism too. I see a load of it on Twitter. Humorous remarks about 'mums' and their foibles. And also the most patronising guff about mums who say or do anything that their self-absorbed children loftily regard as unsusually progressive/coherent etc for a mum.

As if we check in our humanity and our intellect swhen we expel the ungrateful little bleeders from our silly wombs.

Well, in this case the lecturer is plus-minus my own age (and we both are, at a stretch, from the "parents" generation to most of the students), so I don't think it is ageism as such - more yes, as if becoming a mum was supposed to switch someone's brains off.

I don't think it would be OTT to let the person know you found the remark inappropriate. Especially given that the lecturer claims to be 'always' saying it.

Meh - wouldn’t give it a second thought

You don’t need to defend yourself OP, those here who take women’s rights seriously completely understand how you feel. Disappointing that some here think you’re overreacting. Sexism affects all of us.

You are right. Challenge it. Language matters!

Yes email him.

Why didn’t you challenge at the time? I would have just said loudly “ or dad” and I bet they would have corrected themselves. Haven’t you ever said something you later thought was less than perfect?

A better analogy is "so that a CEO can understand". It's usually CEO's that need convincing, not mums!

Oh I don’t hear is as becoming a mum makes you switch your brain off, just they are less likely to be up to date.

And women are less good at this sort of thing, because they haven’t been encouraged to be interested etc etc. I think it’s a reasonable point.

Not overreacting at all. Ignore the apologists and their internalised misogyny.

Especially those who lack basic grammar skills you're= you + are.

I'd email his supervisor and let them feel with it tbh. Someone who would make that remark will just ignore you and you don't want it to affect your grades. Ask for anonymity, they can easily check the truth of your claims without giving your name.

Sexist and ageist

YABU and yes, overreacting. I don’t see the issue with it, it’s just a throwaway comment 🤷‍♀️

@4PawsGood

Oh I don’t hear is as becoming a mum makes you switch your brain off, just they are less likely to be up to date.

And women are less good at this sort of thing, because they haven’t been encouraged to be interested etc etc. I think it’s a reasonable point.

Oh dear.

@4PawsGood

Oh I don’t hear is as becoming a mum makes you switch your brain off, just they are less likely to be up to date.

And women are less good at this sort of thing, because they haven’t been encouraged to be interested etc etc. I think it’s a reasonable point.

What about the many women who are very good at "this sort of thing?" I have several friends who work in engineering and are very well paid FPGS engineers. All women. In fact, in most other European countries, you will find plenty of women refuse collectors, road crew workers, electricians, etc - nothing to do with being a woman or a mother, everything to do with societal expectations.

I might have known a handmaiden would come along and explain it nicely though.

Of course its bloody sexist. How old was this man OP? 92?